TAFKAG

Maybe will help xzandra get to grips with the LHC, as most young people seem to enjoy this hip-hop stuff, even versions that sound vaguely like Blondie's Rapture. Sampling Hawking - those rappers love it, don't they?I can't find find an emo-based explanation, sorry. Talking of Stevie H, he reckons, like 99.9999% of us, that we're going to be just fine. He's also set to lose a $100 bet if scientists discover the 'God particle'. See xzandy, there's always someone worse off than you. honez, that's the most amusing and eloquent breaking of a butterfly on a wheel I've read in a while.

Top IoM sidecar racer Steve Norbury killed in a crash at Hockenheim.

Rentaghost returns? How exactly does one rework a kids' sitcom about an employment agency full of ghosts for "a modern day audience", Nigel, you red-braces, goateed, thinking-outside-the-box cocksmoker? Timothy Gaypole all tooled up in a hoodie and Hazel the McWitch dealing crack from her Gorbals high rise?

Been to Toronto recently, LG?

It's a busy time for Cheeta - his book and his cover version of CB trucker anthem Convoy are about to be released, the campaign for his Hollywood Walk of Fame star gathers pace (why Lassie and Godzilla but not Cheeta?) and he's still pumping out the Ape-stract artworks. He's cut out the smokin' and boozin' due to his diabetes, so here's to many more years for the old chap. At home with Mr Jiggs.

Lovely to hear from you, Dame V. See you at the clay pigeon shoot next month if I can scrape the £160 fee together. Will you be taking part in the quad biking, ma'am?

A bit of happy news - Amy's drug buddy Xiguang is getting clean.

Google steps into the browsing arena.

Jane/Jade's dim boyfriend Jack has been given 18 months for whacking someone with a golf club. I don't see him as a golfer, somehow.

A couple of hip-hop tidbits for y'all: Dr Dre's son, also named Dre, has been found dead. Rap mogul Suge Knight is in trouble for the millionth time, for beating up and attempting to stab his girlfriend. Someone's bound to bump him off one of these days.

Now he is apperantly back alive Death again. Had the same with Albert Hoffman, a few hours before his death. Wow, this is about as exciting as one of the end of episode one cliffhangers from the Batman 1960's TV series, when the Riddler et al had the Caped Crusader and Robin trapped in some fiendish and surely inescapable death device. Will our beloved hero make it or not? Tune in tomorrow, same DL time, same DL channel.. Holy zucchini!! Has Batman been made into a tasty ratatouille by the evil Dutch mastercriminal Veghead?!!

Bedser chats about The Don. Sounds in fairly rude health for someone who's reached the nervous nineties.

Fidel's been defending the naughty Cuban taekwondo guy and generally having a whinge about the Olympics and the Evil West. No change there.

Former Manchester City defender David Sommeil has been unconscious since suffering a heart attack five days ago, but he's reportedly stable and out of intensive care.

Buddy Guy's less famous blues brother Phil won't be butterin' anyone's biscuits no mo'.

What do people think of Obama's choice of Joe Biden as running mate? I wonder if Hillary's pissed off or secretly relieved. Biden, his time.

Colin the (female) whale has sadly been 'humanely euthanised'. Or not, according to Cherie Curchod... Anyway, better news regarding Mr Splashy Pants.

Don Fox has died at 73. He was a great player, but achieved notoriety for one disastrous moment, thanks to a clip featuring Eddie Waring's "'e's a poor lad" commentary... ... which doesn't appear to exist amongst the billions of websites out there.

138-year-old Indian man dies. Translation: I like to tell whopping porkies.

He's dead now. Hua'd a thunk it?