TAFKAG

She inspires only a clerihew, not a limerick: Hilary Lister Forgot her transistor That's none too strategic For a quadriplegic.

More trouble for Trouble, as she loses $10m of her $12m inheritance. No more foie gras for you, it's back to the Winalot.

Jane Austen Smack and Smackability Marvellous work, sir. I am greatly looking forward to the publication of its follow-up, Abrasion.

Japanese child killer/necrophiliac/cannibal/all round lovely chap Tsutomu Miyazaki has finally been executed 18 years after his conviction. Japan's really picking up its own DL pace - that's 10 for the year, more than all of 2007.

Harry Patch becomes a supercentenarian. Unlike Henry, he eschews the 'live fast, die old' method of wine, women and song, but each to their own. Happy Birthday, Harry.

Neath scrum-half Gareth Jones has died two months after suffering a neck injury in a game against Cardiff.

I was mildly surprised to find that songwriters Richard and Robert Sherman are both still alive in their 80s. The names may not be immediately familiar, but the tunes will be: The Bare Necessities, I Wanna Be Like You (Oo-oo), Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, Chim Chim Cher-ee, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Truly Scrumptious and, er, , among others.

Swedish pianist and founder of the trio that bears his name, Esbjörn Svensson, är död after a scuba diving accident. Here's a clip of them performing from the Disney musical Bedknobs and Broomsticks.

I can't find any DL mention of JG Ballard, who has 'advanced prostate cancer' and wrote his autobiography pretty sharpish after its diagnosis in 2006. A more recent article makes a brief mention of it, but he seems in reasonable shape. An outside bet for 2009.

Shilton recovered from having absolutely nothing wrong with him remarkably quickly. By the way, if one googles 'Peter Shilton wife beater' (as one reasonably might), guess which site comes up first...

Ah, two minutes of backbreaking research on my part could've made me aware of my own error, but thanks for the re-direction. Although now I'm wondering why they bothered to form their own mediocre duos rather than just being a mediocre brother act. They've got right idea now and formed Seals and Seals in 2002. I guess that makes them performing seals. It appears that one of the seals is broken.

Canadian ex-international Brian Budd has died at 56, but he's probably more well-known for winning the world version of Superstars three times. A Canuck Brian Jacks, then. Polish player Adam Ledwon has killed himself in Austria while covering Euro 2008 for Polish television.

Can I be Limerick Lady? An opera singer named Russell Was involved in a bit of a tussle With a dangerous tumour So our sick sense of humour Saw that on to the List he did hustle. God, that was bad.

Pluto becomes a plutoid, as does its brother Eric Eris. I bet it's a right laugh at these astronomical classification committee meetings.

Friend of yours, Carol Ann?

I'd think he'd snag one. I'd Really Love to See You Tonight is an MOR classic, with its notable mondegreen "I'm not talkin' 'bout the linen...". A song that crossed all borders and boundaries, mostly ones of good taste. Brother of the equally soft-rockin' Jim, co-writer of Heart FM staple Summer Breeze.

Scolari's taking the Chelsea job, apparently.

Although his dad is a bit of a tit & has pushed him into living a life that is not normal by any definition, he was quite withdrawn, shy almost & normally pleasant enough at lower level. I definitely think the "McLaren Experience" has made him into what irks so many people:- Arrogant, more concerned about his image & private life than his career (take note Lewis, and look at Jenson Button now), defensive, eager to attribute blame (Raikkonen), not willing to accept he might be wrong (Alonso alleged & false "braketest" at Bahrain) and dishonest (you didn't look back at the light, LH, the TV pics proved that). He needs to learn a bit of humility & a sense of right & wrong. Ron Dennis is not my most favourite person either (Hell, let's be honest, I can't stand the man), but that's something I have stated before. But to be fair to him, he did employ Gerhard Berger, the antithesis to Dennis' prototypes for a number of years. Stefan Johansson too. If dear Bruce McLaren could see what his team has become, if he wasn't already dead, he'd drop straight out because of shock. You might be able to show Hamilton who's boss out on the track before long. Elsewhere, former Toyota F1 head and rally driver Ove Andersson has been killed during a vintage car rally in South Africa.

Ah apologies, but f**k it, it's not every day I get to gratuitously post a pic of the Killer...

This is a poll from early 2007. Mighty empires have risen and fallen since then. It's like being asked to vote on the abrogation of the Corn Laws. I voted nay, forsooth.