Gunjaman5000

The Mail's mods didn't approve of my post, the overly sensitive tossers. All I said was how trim she's looking and that it can't be all bad news. Can't be, can it?

After having been in Perth for a while now it's hard to believe there's anyone left in England at all. A bit of snow would go down well up in Port Hedland after months of high thirty degree days with at least 60% humidity. Then the sun goes down and it drops to low thirties but the humidity gets up in the nineties. I kind of prefer it when it gets up over 40, at least the humidity burns off. Beats being cold though.

God damn you David Attenborough, God damn you to hell. Stupid evolutionists, where's Entropy when you need her?

A great pity. I do admire his stance though, fuckem all.

A week, maybe two, tops.

Kind thoughts and words on the internet, from adoring fans numbering millions, would mean so much more for Patrick, than they would for Robbie Williams.

Poor Amy held hostage by her own fame. I'd be surprised if she were the only 25 year old Brit living the high life in the Carribean this week. Rock and mother-loving roll baby.

Could anyone else see Dickie permantently moving into spot number 50 on the list should Clive Dunn prove to be mortal? Richard O'Sullivan, not the new black, possibly the next Clive Dunn. Discuss.

Can't girls wink then? I thought it was walker. As in, "That was a cracking cheese documentary, Grommit. I'm just taking this bag of Wotsits and going for a quick walk upstairs." or, "What's all that noise coming from Johnny's bedroom?" "Oh, nothing to worry about, he's just having a crafty walk." Is Johnny's walk an ingredient in Johnny Walker's famed distillation? I'm not surprised, although I've always thought it tastes more like piss.

Clucking bell, there's a surprise. Still, if you're going to drop down dead of a heart attack, the late forties seems to be a very popular time to do it. Sad about John Drake though, my brother once saw him belly flop onto a table full of drinks and walk away without a scratch. There can't be a very long list of fellas who've done that and won a world cup.

I'm more saddened by some of the comments than the pictures; Jesus Tracey, not only are "you the best advert for driving everywhere", but a great advert for private education and why 'news' establishments shouldn't allow reader comment. Ever.

People with more than 12 items in the express lane at the supermarket. Selfish cnuts. Hanging's too good for them.

Doesn't look good for Paddy. How long until the star of Ghost is toast?

I regularly get emails asking if I'd like an extra five inches of cock - seeing as I'm getting precisely zero inches at the moment, an extra five would be ideal - but whenever I reply saying 'yes please, bring it round, here's my address' I never get any response. Disappointing. These emails are definitely a scam. You should ask for more, six at least.... What did happen to Six? She seemed to fade away once Star Crossed did. Shame that, both great members of the Deathlist community, both sadly missed. Hang on, are we talking about the same thing?

While they don't spam here, my Hotmail inbox gets a lot of this type of thing; From: computer ballot email lottery (patoutpay8@hotmail.es) Sent: Saturday, 15 November 2008 6:50:13 p.m. To: Gunjaman5000@newaustralianimmigrant.com You have won ($1,500,000.00) Dollars in DE CASINOOESINE INT S.L EURO MILLION PROMOTIONForfurther development for Clarification and procedure Please ContactMr.Andrew Woolley. E:mail: infolacaixa8@yahoo.com.hkTel:+34-693-518-412 Fax: +34-91-181-73411. Tic Nr: 6460DGH 2. Sr Nr: 0909AOB09Full names,Address,Age,Occupation,Phone/Fax no,Ref No,Batch No.Name: ANNA MARIA One and a half million bucks? That's not bad. I do wonder however, if they're giving away that kind of cash, why don't they have their own ISP? Seems kind of odd. Maybe when one is so focused on charity work, a free email provider is the one truly charitable way to go. On the other hand, I'd like to ask the guy who keeps on sending me SPAM offers to please cut it out. It's like he knows me. Does he live locally? Has Gunjawoman5000 been talking to the greengrocer again? If only it kept me up at night the way he promises and not the way his unspoken innuendo does, I'd consider replying. Dirty bastard.

I have tremendous news

It's observed here in Australia, but isn't a public (bank) holiday. I don't remember it being a big deal in New Zealand. The big one for both countries is ANZAC Day, April 25, in rememberance of the day it was found the Turks would be a pushover at home.

Try keeping them up late every night the week before the Autumn time change (the time goes foward one). Gunjawoman and I have used this tatic for a few years, it seems to work with our early risers. That way they're only up at five in the morning.

Barking. Absolutely barking mad.

And that she will add the phrase "...as the mother of..." at least three times. Didn't Saddam Hussein use something along those lines once?

Yes, beyond the shadow of a doubt. I'd say it be much harder for a wealthy man to fake his own demise than a sales representative from Sunshine Desserts.

Hell of an actor, hell of a man. Hell of a shame.