time

Courtney Love reckons Frances Bean Cobain could be dead before shes 22 because shes got too much money and must be spending it on drugs (or summat). So anytime between now and 2015 then...

The 'Village Street Party". This is an annual event which takes place on my doorstep. It started off as a (fairly) low-key event some years ago, as an addendum to the annual Pride parade. Now its just an excuse for a 48 (or 60, I've lost count) hour party (read 'debauch') by all and sundry, which turns the neighbourhood into a no-go shithole for the duration.

Who are these enemies? And why are they so? These enemies are the bandmaster and his family who went to extreme lengths to remove me from a band I had been in for 12/13 years. The band is part of a christian organisation (which in itself is part of the reason why my removal was sought). First the bandmaster told me not to comeback, which I ignored. Then there was a meeting in which I was asked to take leave until after an important competition past on the promise that I would get back. He broke this promise and told me after the period I still wasn't welcome. I then wrote him a letter telling him that I would be returning. In response to this, he held a meeting with HIS band (which I was not present at) whereby he told them that if they allowed me to come back he was going to leave, as was his father, and he hinted the tutor would leave too. So they all betrayed me - and chose him. Then I stirred up as much trouble as I could by making this public, whch included going to a minister who i was not entirely fond of. In the end, they overturned the bandmasters decision and I was supposed to be returning in September. I wrote him a letter at thhe beginning of the week saying that I would not be returning to his band. At least this way I walked instead of being pushed. The guy whose party it is is basically now the number 2 in this band since I was 'deposed' by email after 12 years service in a one line email on the 28th December 2009. And my crimes? 1) My support for homosexual ministers in the church of Scotland, and my personal boycott of the local minister's events. (Which I had suspended by the time I was given the boot on the 28th Dec). 2) For attempting to stop the bandmaster's 'favourite' from leaving the band without telling the bandmaster. 3) For public arguing with the bandmaster's father in a meeting in which I was discussing the above no 2. (This happened on the evening of the 27th, but the bandmaster claims he didn't know about it until after he sacked me - even though he still lives in the same house as his father). 4) He is also upset with me for calling him an 'asshole' on facebook when he 'saked' me the second time around. 5) For intervening when the bandmaster and his father were practically bullying a member of the organization staff. This one is perhaps the most important. Its probably my own fault for being in a Christian Organization when I don't believe in God. Then again, I didn't ask to be baptized and I didn't ask to be enroled in the organization when I was 5. All very well Windsor, but what, exactly, do you want consigned to room 101?

"Mr. Rochdale", Stan Milburn, died last friday, aged 83. He was the cousin of Newcastle's Jackie, and uncle to Jack and Bobby Charlton, as well as the youngest of 4 brothers who all played professional football.

Tempted as I am, I just don't have the time to devote to helping the widows and orphans etc., so I won't be accepting. (If anyone wants to though, feel free. I won't be offended).

The co-founder of German discount supermarket ALDI, Theo Albrecht, has died aged 98 88.

The Brazilian TV Host accused of ordering murders to boost his shows ratings, Wallace Souza, has died aged 51, after suffering from chronic liver disease. He always denied the charges.

Dutch court has given her permission to sail

I'll put my poor efforts down to the speed of my computer! But the game can't have an inbuilt one thousand of a second tolerance. I kept getting 0.172 never lower unless I showed a lucky shot finger trouble effort. I managed .228 (with a low of .117) on my first attempt (bobbing bobcat), however subsequent attempts have seen me relegated to the status of sluggish snail, as a result of a combination of being too slow and too fast. I put this down to a heavy week at work and not enough sleep. I will also try later, after a (hopefully) good night's sleep.

My boss.

Former New York Yankees manager Ralph Houk has died aged 90. Any more of this and the Yankees will need their own thread.

To be fair? I'm speechless.

Salman. World Cup 3rd place play off or Community Shield (as most pointless game of football)? Community Shield. Jack Taylor or Howard Webb? Graham Poll Torres or Ronaldo ('s haircut)? Petrescu's Choosing one of the options given or going your own way?

I'm impressed. I did far better than I'd expected. If it wasn't for my uncanny knack of transferring players out just before they scored a shedload of points, I'd have done even better. Well done Cowboy Ronnie. Bring on Brazil 2014!

Salman. World Cup 3rd place play off or Community Shield (as most pointless game of football)? Community Shield. Jack Taylor or Howard Webb?

That rather depends on what you want the outcome to be. Anyway, as indicated on the poll, DoA was always the most likely outcome. From The Guardian

Michel Platini taken to hospital after fainting. So that's what dining with Gerard Houllier does then.

My predictions: Netherlands 0 Spain 1 (AET) Torres fluking one in off his knee or summat. Uruguay 1 Germany 2

BBC report CEEFAX reports that he is being treated for injuries.

For the record, I went with DoA. It seems pretty obvious he thinks he's got nothing to live for (apart from the newspaper serialisation of his story followed by the TV movie) so it'll be a grisly shoot-out in the woods.

Here he goes again...

Adolf Storms, former SS Sergeant and number 4 on the Simon Wiesenthal center most-wanted list, has died at home in Duisburg, aged 90, whilst awaiting trial for the murder of 58 Jews in 1945.

Film producer Elliot Kastner (Where Eagles Dare, The Big Sleep etc) has died from cancer aged 80.

Complainy enough but way too many smileys! Similarly, the last bus of the evening (all services) from the world-famous, world-beating Brighton & Hove Bus and Coach Company has a 5 minute layover at the world-famous Churchill Square shopping center built into the timetable, presumably to allow last minute stragglers an extra couple of minutes to finish their pints. This wouldn't be so bad, but after say, 7pm, the streets are deserted, thus each journey can probably comfortably acheived in about 20 minutes less than it is timetabled. Yes, you've guessed it, the 5 minute layover at one stop turns into a three minute layover at every stop*. Sometimes I think it would be quicker to walk. *Except of course at whichever stop I'm boarding at if I'm 10 seconds later than the scheduled departure time, in which case, its the one driver who sticks rigidly to the timetable at every stop.

Can I have my Ronald Neame points please?