Spade_Cooley

Daily Mail decides to claim that Big Dick is "gravely ill" based on pretty much nothing his brother says in an interview.

You've made a strong start, for sure.

I thought the idea of taking on the world was that you at least tried to keep one or two allies?

Would like to see him as a Pinochet-esque old dude who takes for fucking ever to die in a British retirement home character. Maybe him and Maggie could share premises together, could be like a Waiting for God for the 2010s.

Crack out the Lurpak, cuz Maria Schneider's taken her last tango in Paris, and anywhere else for that matter, aged 58.

Lindsay's delightfully stabilising influence of a father Michael Lohan is currently having emergency surgery on a blocked artery.

Well, the first of the 51 has gone, and it's one of the four nobody picked. Peace out Eunice Sanborn, you were "the first person to build a concrete swimming pool in Cherokee County".

DJ Kool Herc, arguably one of the most influential musicians of the 20th century, is in hospital, "not doing well" and has no money to pay medical bills.

Yeah, Rob Manuel's dead.

Here's a piccy of Billy Graham taken two hours ago, bonus crack-addled nutjob action on the right:

The best thing about starting to post on DL is that for your first five weeks or so, every post you make about a death or dying celebrity gets moved elsewhere. We've got capsules for musicians (general), drummers (general), country singers, rappers, jazz types and folkies. Footballers have a thread, as do rugby players, boxers, baseballers, ice hockey players and gridiron types, but from memory none for cricketers. Politicians have a thread, but there's a side thread for African leaders. This can be confusing for a n00b, so can we make it more confusing? What other niche careers, roles, gimmicks or otherwise could we feasibly start threads on for keeping a tab on the health of all involved? And is anyone bored enough to maybe put together a list of all the theme threads for easy access? Thought not.

"Superstar" Billy Graham has been hospitalised for "a bad pollen reaction". I'm not 100% sure if that's a euphemism.

He was good in The Office.

Lookin' good there, worst director in history Kevin Smith.

... and not forgetting And lest we forget

Deadpooling is a bit like the glory days of poker in the 70s and 80s, huh? A constant battle for supremacy between the mathematicians and the impulse players.

"You're dead on Channel 4, please do not swear"?

You did, and you sent it before the teams were posted up. If Rotten Ali requires a screengrab of the correct time, I can provide. For some reason my thing said "0 new messages" throughout today. #23 on DDT's team is Dickie "Richard" Attenborough.

Schoolboy error for me, yeah.

DDT picked Eli Wallach twice, so one of his ???s, presumably #12, is The Ugly.

Now that's a portrait:

The ridiculously named Happy Rockefeller, Nelson's missus, is still with us.

THE SCIENCE Unsurprisingly, the two celebrities who are neither battling cancer nor over 80 were picked on every ballot: La Lohan and Gazza. Four celebs weren't picked at all: the three "famous for being old" cats (Breuning, Choules and Sanborn) and the big man Chrissie Hitchens, who our board thinks will be able to tell Mother Teresa exactly what he thinks of her to her face asap. I bashed the numbers into the spreadsheet, and these are, in reverse order, the top 15 most likely to die this year, according to the Deathlist panel: 15. Neilson, Donald 14. Graham, Rev Billy 13. Sharon, Ariel 12. Hughes, Geoffrey 11. Biggs, Ronnie 10. Douglas, Kirk 9. Niemeyer, Oscar 8. Gabor, Zsa Zsa 7. Wing, Anna 6. Shamir, Yitzhak 5. Ford, Betty 1=. Breuning, Walter 1=. Choules, "Digger" Claude 1=. Hitchens, Christopher 1=.Sanborn, Eunice And, to flip that the 15 most likely to throw up in a plant pot just after Big Ben rings in 2012: 1. Lohan, Lindsay 2. Gascoigne, Paul 3. Ballesteros, Seve 4. Forsyth, Bruce 5. Ali, Muhammad 6. Philip, Prince 7. Dunn, Clive 8. Sykes, Eric 9. Baker, Danny 10. Douglas, Michael 11. Norden, Denis 12. Hawking, Stephen 13. Rooney, Mickey 14. Castro, Fidel 15. Lynn, Vera

THE STARTING SQUADS Life, Oh Life [via Des'Ree] (Spade_Cooley) 1. Lohan, Lindsay 2. Forsyth, Bruce 3. Gascoigne, Paul 4. Ballesteros, Seve 5. Hawking, Stephen 6. Baker, Danny 7. Cheney, Dick 8. Ali, Muhammad 9. Moore, Patrick 10. Norden, Denis 11. Philip, Prince 12. Castro, Fidel 13. Mugabe, Robert 14. Douglas, Michael 15. Dunn, Clive 16. Franklin, Aretha 17. Sykes, Eric 18. Jong-Il, Kim 19. Dawn, Liz 20. Al Megrahi, Abdelbaset 21. Biggs, Ronnie 22. Falk, Peter 23. Borgnine, Ernest 24. Reagan, Nancy 25. Attenborough, Richard Might Come to Maryport in 2012 (maryportfuncity) 1. Prince Philip 2. Bruce Forsythe 3. Mickey Roony 4. Nelson Mandela 5. Lindsey Lohan 6. Seve Ballesteros 7. Vera Lynn 8. Eric Sykes 9. Robert Mugabe 10. Dickie Attenborough 11. Clive Dunn 12. Ernest Borgnine 13. Muhammad Ali 14. Patrick Moore 15. Dennis Healy 16. Abdelbaset Al Megrahi 17. Michael Douglas 18. Fidel Castro 19. Paul Gascoigne 20. Dennis Norden 21. Eli Wallach 22. Stephen Hawking 23. Olivia de Havilland 24. Kim Jong-Il 25. Danny Baker heaven can wait 1. Muhammad Ali 2. Danny Baker 3. Seve Ballesteros 4. Kirk Douglas 5. Prince Phillip 6. Dennis Norden 7. Eric Sykes 8. Eli Wallach 9. Harry Morgan 10. Penny Marshal 11. Bruce Forsythe 12. Peter Falk 13. Paul Gascoigne 14. Dennis Healey 15. Jack Klugman 16. Vera Lynn 17. Lindsay Lohan 18. Nancy Reagan 19. Mickey Rooney 20. Aretha Franklyn 21. Michael Douglas 22. Olivia de Haviland 23. Clive Dunn 24. Robert Mugabe 25. Donald Neilson BertTrautman 1. Seve Ballesteros 2. Michael Douglas 3. Danny Baker 4. Lindsay Lohan 5. Penny Marshall 6. Paul Gascoigne 7. Bruce Forsyth 8. Vera Lynn 9. Muhammad Ali 10. Prince Philip 11. Mickey Rooney 12. Aretha Franklin 13. Richard Attenborough 14. Denis Norden 15. Fidel Castro 16. Nelson Mandela 17. Robert Mugabe 18. Clive Dunn 19. Olivia de Havilland 20. Eli Wallach 21. Liz Dawn 22. Eric Sykes 23. Geoffrey Hughes 24. Dick Cheney 25. Stephen Hawking Mr. 3374 1. Seve Ballesteros 2. Dick Cheney 3. Paul Gascoigne 4. Prince Phillip 5. Billy Graham 6. Danny Baker 7. Abdelbaset Al Megrahi 8. Clive Dunn 9. Jack Klugman 10. Peter Falk 11. Lindsay Lohan 12. Margaret Thatcher 13. Penny Marshall 14. Denis Healey 15. Geoffrey Hughes 16. Ariel Sharon 17. Bruce Forsyth 18. Aretha Franklin 19. Ernest Borgnine 20. Robert Mugabe 21. Denis Norden 22. Stephen Hawking 23. Eli Wallach 24. Oscar Niemeyer 25. Kim Jong Il STAB_in-the_DARK (Rotten Ali) 1. Clive Dunn 2. Dame Vera Lynn 3. Eli Wallach 4. Bruce Forsyth 5. Mickey Rooney 6. Eric Sykes 7. Liz Dawn 8. Anna Wing 9. Olivia de Haviland 10. Donald Neilson 11. Prince Phillip 12. Ernest Borgnine 13. Paul Gascoigne 14. Harry Morgan 15. Lindsay Lohan 16. Denis Norden 17. Muhammad Ali 18. Jack Klugman 19. Fidel Castro 20. Denis Healey 21. Nancy Reagan 22. Richard Attenborough 23. Jerry Lewis 24. Peter Falk 25. Danny Baker Garn2 1. Ali, Muhammad 2. Forsyth, Bruce 3. Dunn, Clive 4. Lohan, Lindsay 5. Dawn, Liz 6. de Havilland, Olivia 7. Borgnine, Ernest 8. Hawking, Stephen 9. Rooney, Mickey 10. Wallach, Eli 11. Gascoigne, Paul 12. Lynn, Vera 13. Klugman, Jack 14. Philip, Prince 15. Moore, Patrick 16. Sykes, Eric 17. Morgan, Harry 18. Douglas, Kirk 19. Healey, Denis 20. Ford, Betty 21. Lewis, Jerry 22. Baker, Danny 23. Reagan, Nancy 24. Graham, Rev Billy 25. Douglas, Michael Captain Chorizo 1.Lindsay Lohan 2.Michael Douglas 3.Paul Gascoigne 4.Kim Jong-Il 5.Seve Ballesteros 6.Muhammad Ali 7.Mickey Rooney 8.Nelson Mandela 9.Fidel Castro 10.Bruce Forsyth 11.Prince Phillip 12.Richard Attenborough 13.Elizabeth Taylor 14.Jerry Lewis 15.Margaret Thatcher 16.Stephen Hawking 17.Eli Wallach 16.Nancy Reagan 19.Olivia de Havilland 20.Denis Norden 21.Eric Sykes 22.Vera Lynn 23.Geoffery Hughes 24.Robert Mugabe 25.Danny Baker Six 1. Stephen Hawking 2. Donald Nielson 3. Liz Taylor 4. Lindsay Lohan 5. Zsa Zsa Gabor 6. Mickey Rooney 7. Jack Klugman 8. Paul Gascoigne 9. Kim Jong-Il 10. Peter Falk 11. Bruce Forsythe 12. Danny Baker 13. Richard Attenbrough 14. Liz Dawn 15. Clive Dunn 16. Penny Marshall 17. Ariel Sharon 18. Dennis Norden 19. Eric Sykes 20. Margaret Thatcher 21. Patrick Moore 22. Aretha Franklin 23. Nelson Mandela 24. Muhammad Ali 25. Seve Ballesteros msc 1. Lindsay Lohan 2. Paul Gascoigne 3. Seve Ballesteros 4. Danny Baker 5. Muhammad Ali 6. Clive Dunn 7. Margaret Thatcher 8. Ronnie Biggs 9. Fidel Castro 10. Elizabeth Taylor 11. Ariel Sharon 12. Stephen Hawking 13. Bruce Forsyth 14. Dick Cheney 15. Robert Mugabe 16. Prince Philip 17. Eric Sykes 18. Al Megrahi 19. Nelson Mandela 20. Vera Lynn 21. Aretha Franklin 22. Jerry Lewis 23. Denis Norden 24. Patrick Moore 25. Peter Falk EST.1993 1. Lindsay Lohan 2. Elizabeth Taylor 3. Nelson Mandela 4. Stephen Hawking 5. Paul Gascoigne 6. Margaret Thatcher 7. Nancy Reagan 8. Jack Klugman 9. Ronnie Biggs 10. Seve Ballesteros 11. Richard Attenborough 12. Penny Marshall 13. Denis Norden 14. Eric Sykes 15. Eli Wallach 16. Rev Billy Graham 17. Clive Dunn 18. Muhammad Ali 19. Abdelbaset Al Megrahi 20. Aretha Franklin 21. Michael Douglas 22. Dick Cheney 23. Olivia de Havilland 24. Anna Wing 25. Oscar Niemeyer CarolAnn 1. Lindsay Lohan 2. Abdelbaset Al Megrahi 3. Penny Marshall 4. Jack Klugman 5. Richard Attenborough 6. Seve Ballesteros 7. Jerry Lewis 8. Muhammad Ali 9. Ernest Borgnine 10. Prince Philip 11. Fidel Castro 12. Danny Baker 13. Michael Douglas 14. Bruce Forsyth 15. Aretha Franklin 16. Paul Gascoigne 17. Mickey Rooney 18. Yitzhak Shamir 19. Harry Morgan 20. Elizabeth Taylor 21. Nancy Reagan 22. Vera Lynn 23. Rev Billy Graham 24. Clive Dunn 25. Olivia de Havilland 25 To Stay Alive (Toast) 1. Norden, Denis 2. Castro, Fidel 3. Ballesteros, Seve 4. Moore, Patrick 5. Borgnine, Ernest 6. Rooney, Mickey 7. Douglas, Michael 8. Marshall, Penny 9. Klugman, Jack 10. Gascoigne, Paul 11. Mugabe, Robert 12. Baker, Danny 13. Reagan, Nancy 14. Lynn, Vera 15. Forsyth, Bruce 16. Dawn, Liz 17. Lewis, Jerry 18. Shamir, Yitzhak 19. Hawking, Stephen 20. Dunn, Clive 21. Lohan, Lindsay 22. Ali, Muhammad 23. Healey, Denis 24. Sykes, Eric 25. Philip, Prince No Rest for the Wicked (Madame Defarge) 1. Lohan, Lindsay 2. Douglas, Michael 3. Rooney, Mickey 4. Mugabe, Robert 5. Falk, Peter 6. Taylor, Elizabeth 7. Sykes, Eric 8. Al Megrahi, Adelbaset 9. Hawking, Steven 10.Nordin, Denis 11.Mohammed, Ali 12.Castro, Fidel 13.Lewis, Jerry 14.Dunn, Clive 15.Moore, Patrick 16.Dawn, Liz 17.Forsythe, Bruce 18.Sharon, Ariel 19.Niemeyer,Oscar 20.Klugman, Jack 21.Graham, Billy 22.Lynn, Vera 23.Mandela, Nelson 24.Gascoigne, Paul 25.Hughes, Geoffrey time 1. Ballesteros, Seve 2. Dawn, Liz 3. Douglas, Michael 4. Forsyth, Bruce 5. Franklin, Aretha 6. Gascoigne, Paul 7. Hawking, Stephen 8. Lohan, Lindsay 9. Marshall, Penny 10. Norden, Denis 11. Philip, Prince 12. Sykes, Eric 13. Reagan, Nancy 14. Moore, Patrick 15. Morgan, Harry 16. Lynn, Vera 17. Lewis, Jerry 18. Castro, Fidel 19. Borgnine, Ernest 20. Baker, Danny 21. Al Megrahi, Abdelbaset 22. Ali, Muhammad 23. Dunn, Clive 24. Hughes, Geoffrey 25. Neilson, Donald Lady Grendel 1. Gascoigne, Paul 2. Philip, Prince 3. Lohan, Lindsay 4. Ballesteros, Seve 5. Sykes, Eric 6. Dawn, Liz 7. Ali, Muhammad 8. Hawking, Stephen 9. Neilson, Donald 10. Baker, Danny 11. Castro, Fidel 12. Dunn, Clive 13. Morgan, Harry 14. Reagan, Nancy 15. Taylor, Elizabeth 16. Jong-Il, Kim 17. Mandela, Nelson 18. De Haviland, Olivia 19. Marshall, Penny 20. Thatcher, Margaret 21. Cheney, Dick 22. Franklin, Aretha 23. Douglas, Michael 24. Al Megrahi, Abdelbaset 25. Gabor, Zsa Zsa DevonDeathTrip 1. Lohan, Lindsay 2. Gascoigne, Paul 3. Dawn, Liz 4. Forsyth, Bruce 5. Falk, Peter 6. Ali, Muhammad 7. Klugman, Jack 8. Sykes, Eric 9. Douglas, Kirk 10. Lewis, Jerry 11. Moore, Patrick 12. Wallach, Eli 13. Taylor, Elizabeth 14. Hawking, Stephen 15. Philip, Prince 16. Lynn, Vera 17. Cheney, Dick 18. Norden, Denis 19. Jong-Il, Kim 20. Ballesteros, Seve 21. Dunn, Clive 22. Baker, Danny 23. Attenborough, Richard 24. Ford, Betty 25. Douglas, Michael I'm gonna try and get these names all uniform over the next day or two, but notice how every entry is now in the same numerical style with the numbers, full stop and space? Did that myself. That's years of sub-editing coming into play there.