msc

I thought I'd be doing actual work today, but my darling youngest has passed on a hellish virus. So, here's some inane DDP stats I looked up as a distraction technique. Teams That won the DDP without using their joker (since stats exist in 2002) Deathlist.net (2004) The Living End (2013) David Quantick's Showbiz Pals (2014) Unique Picks by Title Winners Jill Summers (1997), Peter Taylor (1997), Brian Hall (1997), Viscount Tonypandy (1997), Jack Lord (1998), Lord Soper (1998), Gene Sarazen (1999), Desmond Llewellyn (1999), Curtis Mayfield (1999), Bettino Craxi (2000), Tom Landry (2000), Sir Dudley Forwood (2001), Sir Charles Madden (2001), Lee Kreindler (2003), Carol Shields (2003), John Schlesinger (2003), Henri Cartier-Bresson (2004), Artie Shaw (2004), Cardinal Corrado Bafile (2005), George Kennan (2005), Zhao Ziyang (2005), Benny Parsons (2007), Kai Johansen (2007), Mehmed Uzun (2007), Brian Flowers (2010), Danny Fiszman (2011), Elvis Gordon (2011), Brian Haw (2011), Bert Sugar (2012), Anthonia Onouha (2012), Andrew Millwall (2013), Pran (2013), Yosa El-Essawy (2014), Chen Ziming (2014), Marlise Munoz (2014) Jokers of Title Winning Teams 2002 - John Gotti 2003 - Warren Zevon 2004 - Ronnie Biggs 2005 - Hendrijke van Andel-Schipper 2006 - Ross Davidson 2007 - Mehmed Uzun 2008 - Archbishop Christodoulos 2009 - Robert Novak 2010 - Dr Willie Stanton 2011 - Dr Ann McPherson 2012 - Xolile Mngeni 2013 - Sandy Jardine 2014 - Steve Evans 2015 - Lauren Hill (Random thought - a unique joker who dies in a car crash on their birthday, the 13th of a month, under 30, would bring up 50 points for a single hit.) Championship winning Hits 1997 – Brian Hall – 17th September 1998 – James Earl Ray – 23rd April 1999 - Desmond Llewellyn – 19th December 2000 – Walter Matthau – 1st July 2001 – Lord Longford – 3rd August 2002 – Ted Williams – 5th July 2003 – Warren Zevon – 7th September (title winner only team in top 5 to have him as a joker) 2004 – Artie Shaw – 30th December 2005 – Robert Tisch – 15th November 2006 – Ross Davidson – 16th October (a joker hit which won the title by three points) 2007 – Mehmed Uzun – 10th October (a unique joker hit) 2008 – Ronnie Drew – 16th August 2009 – Patrick Swayze – 14th September (won by Swayze being the only one of the big six 2009 Summer of Death hits that Impaled on the Antlers on Doom didn’t have. Unlucky.) 2010 – Sir Norman Wisdom – 4th October 2011 – Dr Ann McPherson – 28th May (though technically it was all over by 14th January...) 2012 – Winnie Johnson, 18th August 2013 – Ray Price, 16th December 2014 - Yosra El-Essawy, 24th October 2015 – Sadhana Shivdasani, 25th December And, finally, here's an utterly subjective Top of the Pops top 20 DDPers all time. (Based on success, hits, and general personal whim...) 1. Pan Breed Just my little joke... 20. Impaled on the Antlers of Doom A contender for best team name of all time, Impaled is a former side which raked up 4 top ten places (2007, 2009, 2010, 2011), and was a miss on Swayze away from a title in 2009. 19. Hoppo Co-organiser of the original DDPs, Hoppo had four top ten places last century. 18. One Foot in the Grave A US team who predicted the Michael Foot pun a decade early, OFitG had three appearances in the top five before disappearing without trace a decade ago. 17. Otis, You Want a Treat? Winner in 2003, and nearly repeated in 2004 only to be piped at the post by the latest of late shows. 16. Star Dust A modern team with two top five places in the last two years. 15. Tonight Matthew, I'm Going to be Badly Torn-Boy Three top ten finishes and a title. 14. NickJ Winner of the first two DDPs. 13. Mr C 18 years in the competition, 74 hits overall, six top ten places and a runners up spot in 1999. Mr C is one of the most consistent DDPers in history to never win the title. 12. Jesus Jones The long running Father of the House, Jesus Jones had seven top ten places, and four podium places. Only one man has equaled that feat. 11. Master Mind/Hidden Persuader/New Year and Drinks All Night Long time members of the forum will recall Banshees long held dream to win the DDP. He came closest in 2009, matching the champion with all five of his final picks, Eunice Kennedy turning out to be pivotal in their race a whole six hits back in August. Banshees has had 3 other top ten places. Another name change has him on 94 points this year, a title winning run any other year but this, where it's good enough for 14th place so far. 10. Thomas Jefferson Survives Despite being a long term Deathlister, Death Impends only joined the DDP in 2013. On his history, he would otherwise be much further up. This year will be their 3rd top five placing in 4 years. They've been unlucky to debut in the era of Spade, but there's a sense of a young Novak Djokovic about Tommy J - he'll win the title one day, and when he does, he might not let go. 9. JoeRam The 2002 champion was a top ten finisher on four occasions. 8. Stab in the Dark Twice runner up (2006 and 2007), the second time only losing out to an obscure unique joker nabbing an Independent QO. Equal 5th on the all time Hits list, 7th on the points list, and organiser of the Hartlepool Deadlypool. Ali's statistical analytic lists make mine and Bibliogryphon's look positively calm. Gone off the boil in recent years due to some whim/old age picks not coming off, but certainly one of the best DDPers of all time, and arguably the finest to never win the title. 7. Big Iain Founder of the DDP. The big man has seven top ten finishes, the equal most top ten finishes in DDP history. He came third in 2000. 6. They're Dead, Y'Know TMIB did get two top ten finishes in 2006 and 2008. However, he is about to become the longest serving host of the DDP so far, and is essentially DDP's Tom Baker. Although - hopefully temporarily - retired, TDYK was no lean team, knocking up 60 hits in a decade. 5. Meet Your Maker Won the DDP twice in 2006 and 2007, had four top ten finishes, then disappeared. He's not posted here since January 2014, although I believe his fantasy football league is still running. 4. Octopus of Odstock Host, winner, leading tips pundit, OoO had five top ten finishes, three of them in the top five. He ran the DDP from 2008-2009, and helped to shape some of the modern rules. (The Windsor Execution Rule, to give but one example...) Handing the reigns over to TMIB due to the birth of his daughter in early 2010, Odstock promptly won the title. He came very close to a second title in 2013 with some deft picks, but a few open goals missed led to one of the greatest come from behind wins in DDP history. More on that later 3. Drunkasaskunk My fellow Glaswegian won the DDP twice in 1998 and 1999, and came within a QO of a third in 2002. In 2014, he nearly won the coveted third, and was tricky for DQSP up till the end. His finish in 1999, with unique picks on Desmond Llewellyn dying in a car crash and Curtis Mayfield dying of long term health issues in his 50s, both in the last 12 days of the year, might be the best DDP title coup de grace in history. 2. David Quantick's Showbiz Pals It's hard to believe now, but at one point, Spade was nearly 50 points behind OoO in the 2013 DDP. He had the misfortune of his joker not dying. He even publicly conceded the race (though, caveat, it IS Spade we're talking about here) in March 2013. What he did have was hits, and hits and hits, and ten hits in the first half of the year added to five hits in the last four months to break a long standing record. He had actually finished top ten in 2012, so a title run wasn't a huge surprise. He's Roger Federering the DDP since, however, being the first to win three straight titles. Deft-picks, unique knowledge (are we sure he didn't make up Andrew Millwall?), and the old "luck favours the brave" have made DQSP nearly unbeatable. Look at this year, where everyone has thrown their best bombs at Spade, and yet, who is still on top? It'll take an atom bomb to dislodge him, and even then he might finish December 31st on top with a shrug and a "just a flesh wound" snark. 1. The Living End It's difficult to separate the top two these days, which is testament to Spade, but DDT just hangs onto his title as The Greatest. For now, anyway. His three titles were equalled last year, but DDT still has six top ten finishes to his name and 110 hits to his name which is ridiculously ahead of anyone near. He leads the most points all time, and is winner of probably the only landslide victory in DDP history, the massacre of the innocent deadpoolers which was 2011. He is Sampras to Spade's Federer, and while Federer over took the old master, and beat him in their 2001 face to face, we've not quite reached that yet. Well, not for another four months anyhow...

Watching a BBC Scotland documentary on Gordon Aikman. Apparently doctors gave him a life expectancy of November 2016. He can still speak as of last month with his own voice, though, so that seems like a highly pessimistic doctor. It is, however, a highly aggressive strain of MND. I didn't know there was different types.

Copying the best bit for long term forum posterity:

Anna Sewell was my bet, but I want it to turn out to be someone like Victor Emmanuel II or Pius IX. I can't do those types of DDP statistics yet, because for reasons unknown to anyone, I used to cut people like Bernie Nolan in favour of hot tip Michael Jopling. Can't think why I used to do shit, either. So, I looked at the 5 years of Pan Breed in 3 categories: People who were actually ill: 56% (stats improved by 2016) People who were just old or picked on whim: 17% (stats improved by dumb luck) Times I fell for Scott Thorson Gambits: 0% (out of 3)

Mr Fuji wasn't on this years DDP, strangely. I say strange as he was on the 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, and 2015 DDPs. Unlucky for some.

Aww, that's a shame. (But strangely unsurprising, he looked out of it at his HOF and that was a while ago now...)

Again? He seems to come up for parole once a month. Turned down, to the shock of no one.

Guardian writer Ian Traynor dies aged 60.

3-2 to the Czechs then. Curious how much four years difference makes, in comparing the number of survivors of the 62 final to the 66.

Random long termers to keep an eye on. Tony Mendez of real life Argo fame, showed up on Channel 5's Greatest Spy Films. They prefaced his talking head bits with the news that he has Parkinsons, and had his wife by his side to help him speak/recall things. Wendy Williams, TV actress, was a talking head in a Dr Who thing - for Ark in Space - from 2013 and looking both old for her then late 70s, and possessing the stuttered voice of someone who'd suffered a stroke at some point.

Leslie makes rare appearance in public these days. Really badly written article, but there is a picture.

Ah, you're not dead. Cool.

This is where we all look at Bruce Langhorne and laugh like a vaudeville cliche, complete with mustache.

As Chic Murray once put it (presumably not in someone around here's sig): "It's a small world, but I wouldn't like to have to paint it".

This is all Spade's fault incidentally. His asking about some obscure musician last night led me to think: can't I use my very simple Google-fu or whatever to track down the missing info on the early years of the DDP? Well, guess what I found! Naturally I had to tell someone, so told the wife. "That's lovely, dear" she said without looking up. So, I've transcribed the stats learnt here for interests sakes. Who picked who, etc, didn't transfer to the modern site from 96-02. 1996 is completely lost, but here's 1997... 1997 – Nick J 43 (Summers, Deng, Awdrey, Taylor, Stewart, Theresa, M’buto, Hall, Tonypandy) Hoppo 28 (Deng, Ginsberg, Stewart, Burroughs, Calment, Theresa) Jill Summers of Corrie fame was a unique hit for Nick J a mere 12 days into 1997. Steve L hit back ont the 12th February with a unique on former Sweet musician Brian Connolly to go top, as Summers had suffered the old age penalty. Not to be undone, NickJ swiftly scored with Deng Xhou Peng and Rew Awdry of the Thomas the Tank books to take a firm lead. Nine successes out of twenty seemed a fine result in these pre-DDT/Spade days. 1998 The deaths of Roy Rogers and Norman Fell were retrospectively added in 1999, but didn’t change the winner Drunkasaskunk – 23 – Jack Lord, Pol Pot, James Earl Ray, Sinatra, Lord Soper) Rice Man – 13 – (Lloyd Bridges, Frank Sinatra, Roy Rogers) Drunkasaskunk had the first DDP hit of the year with Jack Lord, a unique hit. Some came close with Enoch Powell, but the trio of Pol Pot, James Earl Ray and Frank Sinatra all dying within a month of each other gave the Scot an unassailable lead. The trophy was unable to be sent up to Glasgow. 1999 Drunkasaskunk – 39 – (Mosely, West, Springfield, Denning, DiMaggio, Sarazen, Llewellyn, Mayfield) Mr C – 26 (Siskle, DiMaggio, Boxcar, Wences, Knauss) DaveJ – 24 (Hussein, Moseley, Nimmo, Reed, Owen) Our drunk Scot sealed the win in December with a double on Curtis Mayfield moving on up, and Q making a quick exit via a car crash to gain 11 points in the dying embers of the millennium. Both of them were unique hits. The “Who Chose Who” page was removed “to prevent people just Cherry Picking the best nominations from 1999.” Useful to prevent Diana Rots, but a sad loss to the stats community. 2000 The only DDP to date won posthumously. MT Graves – 30 – (Craxi, Landry, Schulz, Dury, Matthau, Austin) Finbarr – 23 – (Dury, Linville, Fairbanks, Cartland, Geilgud) Old Blue Eyes – 22 (Fairbanks, Cartland, Geilgud, Aspinall, Guinness) Big Iain – 22 (Dury, Cartland, Geilgud, Runcie, Guinness) Jesus J – 22 – (Swanton, Dury, Cartland, Geilgud, Austin) The race was mostly settled by August, with few changes afterwards. MT Graves died of cancer on October 29th. Wooden spoon contestant Uncle also died that Summer. As Big Iain put it: “to lose one Dead Pool competitor is a tragedy...to lose two is sheer bloody carelessness.” 2001 Despite having died the year before, Uncle Brian entered again. Mostly likely a tribute act, either that or the most understated comeback from the dead in history... Finbarr missed out on the 2001 DDP due to missing the deadline. By end of February, Ed K led the table, but there was 7 teams with 2 hits, and Sir Harry Secombe was an early points bonanza. Future champs Whittakers Choice were joint 5th alongside Jesus Jones and Big Iain. By Mid-June, JoeRam took over the top of the table with the death of Carroll O’Connor, with Whittakers Choice in second place, two points back, and Ed K slipping down to 4th. The highly eccentric Lord Longford died on the 3rd August, propelling Whitakers Choice into the lead. And that was it, and Whittakers Choice won one of the lowest scoring DDPs in history. They would have scored 27 points in todays money for comparison. Whittakers Choice, 18 (Sir Dudley Forwood, Dame Ninnette de Valoise, Sir Charles Madden, Lord Longford) Joe Ram – 16 (Sir Harry Secombe, Tim McVeigh, Carroll O’Connor) EdK – 16 (Auberon Waugh, John Diamond, Lord Hailsham) Jokers were introduced in 2000. The Guardian was the first “standard QO” but “other publications may be accepted” Re 2000: “Rule 6 has been deleted (ie there’s now no rule regarding giraffes.) Points system was the one used up to 2006, ie: 4 points for ages 80+, 5 points for 4o-79, and 6 points for 39 and under. Extra point if murder/suicide, or unique. 2002 Jesus Jones was an early leader with six hits in the first half of the year, but was overtaken by end of June by Joe Ram on the death of Ted Williams. And that was how the top three finished the year. JoeRam 33 (Princess Margaret, Dudley Moore, Queen Mother, Hugo Banzer, John Gotti (joker), Ted Williams) Ghoulish Guesses 32 (Dudley Moore, Milton Berle, Queen Mother, Hugo Banzer (joker), John Gotti, Ted Williams) Jesus Jones 30 (Spike Milligan, Kenneth Wolstenholme, Dudley Moore, Queen Mother (joker), Sam Snead, Leo McKern) Tough break for Jesus Jones, but them’s the breaks. Also controversy as Drunkasaskunk was denied an obit for Carrie Hamilton, US TV actress. Her death would have seen him level with JoeRam. The cries of “we wuz robbed” rang long into the night...and you thought the Delpech situation was a new thing? 2003 Big Iain stands down! It’s spoken of as a “well-deserved rest”, so he might return one day... The bonus point for suicide was removed between 2001 and 2002 but returned for 2003. The murder bonus was not yet returned, “in case it might encourage players to be a little, ahem, over-zealous...” DDP team Ivor Clissolde started with 19 picks instead of 20, due to picking someone who died in 1994: former snooker player Cliff Wilson. Every competitor got an introductory blurb, even if, in the case of Tim R, it read “Despite 4 years in the competition, not much is known about this competitor”! Otis lead the table from March after Sarah Ferguson’s dad died. But by this point, we have the actual bloody scoreboard. Subs were allowed by 2004. Other curious dead picks 2004 – Dave’s Dead, Aye Dead Drunk started life off by trying to pick Sammy Davis Jr. The team have gone on to become one of the longer running DDP teams. Ferret’s Foragers picked Pan Breed favourite Jimmy Stewart. Alas, Jimmy died in 1997. I know, I was in denial too... Sadly, the identity of the DDP pick who had actually died in 1878 remains a mystery.

He was only in the last two series of the show after Trevor Bannister flounced off. That's why he's no doubt not been recast, because he's irrelevant.

Days of Our Life/One life to Live actress Kassie Wesley DePaiva diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia.

I forgot that was on. Thank goodness for On Demand.

I suppose there's an irony that I hotly tipped Rowena Kincaid to be the next Pan Breed DDP graduate for this game. Nearly three months on, she keeps breathing, while 3 others went, 2 of whom I had considered to be on the mend. Predictions, eh?

Thing is, the chap was described by Larry Cohn (an archivist) as someone who "scratched out a living as a street singer" ie a busker. He was probably born in 1911, unless he made that up, and he died at some point. Oh, and he might have been married to a Hedda, but that might not be her last name. Now, he didn't show up in the 1940 census, but then, I didn't expect him to. He also lacks a Tennessee wedding certificate. It backs up a theory that "scratched out a living as a street singer" also means "person of no fixed abode", in a manner of speaking. Which, if true, means there might not be a death certificate. Doubly so if he died in the Bolivar. Mind you, I am reminded of my great-grandfather. I know he was born, because duh, but the church some of his early records were held in was demolished by Glasgow council a number of years ago, and the records have gone missing. (You don't think they forgot to move them before the bulldozers arrived, surely...) My point being that a lot of these records disappear over time, especially for folk without family or importance to chance them up, so if people with the money to chase down the records have come back blank...

86 already? He's getting really old. I have the feeling that he'll be the first major Bond to go, despite being slightly younger than Sir Roger. But do we know anything about his health? So, who are the minor Bonds? David Niven - DEAD Bob Holness - DEAD George Lazonby - ALIVE any of the others? Daniel Craig. Sorry, I saw an open goal...

Rumours of ill health - not public ones - but no outright statements.

I don't have access to the Texas records. However, there is a chap buried in Howard County, Arkansas (less than a 3 hour journey away) who has the same date of death as chap number one above. If that IS the chap, he's got the wrong DOB.

I didn't do this for the DDP in 2012-15. I did it for the 2016 DDP. Can't think what lessons that gives.

DDP title contenders as it stands: Davey Quantick’s Showbiz Pals: 145 (Christie, Delpech (obit), Halpin (u), Kincaid) Heading Nowhere: 143 (Caslavska, Nakamatsu, T Roberts, St John, Suzuki (u)) The Living End: 141 (Bakr al-Baghdadi, Caslavska, Christie, Haggarty, Lucas) Thomas Jefferson Survives: 137 (Christie, Jones, Langhorne, Nakamatsu, Wicks) Golden Slumbers 129 (al-Baghdadi, Libous (obit), Lucas, Majestik (obit), Nakamtsu, van der Westhuizen) Pan Breed 129 (Farnham, Kincaid, Robinson, Sims, Stiles, van der Westhuizen) Main Victory Routes Key - HITS - successes for the team in question which provide a route to victory MAIN MISS - The one chap this team has to hope wont die. ANNOYANCES: people who, if they do die, will cause this title trouble (depending on sequence of course, but as it stands...) KO-COMBO: the combination of hits which could make them unstoppable (see above about sequences) Spade HITS: Halpin unique obit, Kincaid, a Delpech obit, absolutely nothing happening between now and Hogmanay MAIN MISS: Bakr-al Baghdadi ANNOYANCES: Caslavska, Suzuki (u), St John, Haggarty, S Jones, Wicks (u) KO-COMBO - Christie/Halpin/Kincaid (2 of the 3) Heading Nowhere HITS: All of their team survivors are different from DQSP, but Roberts, St John and Suzuki (unique) are unique within the top six. MAIN MISS: Halpin (unique) (reasoning - as it stands, HN can win the DDP with 1 hit from their lot. If Halpin's 11 points go to Spade, then HN needs two minimum hits to win - technically it's the same with all of Spade's three, but Halpin has the most points up for grabs) ANNOYANCES: Bakr-al Baghdadi, Christie KO-COMBO: Caslavaska/St John/Suzuki (u) DDT: HITS: Bakr al-Baghdadi (The man is only likely to die by drone. If DDT gets that 13 points, he wins the title, in my book.) MAIN MISS: Kincaid ANNOYANCES: Halpin (unique), Langhorne KO-COMBO: al-Baghdadi/Haggarty Death Impends: HITS: Jones, Wicks MAIN MISS: Al-Baghdadi ANNOYANCES: Halpin (unique), Caslavska KO-COMBO: Wicks/Jones/Langhorne Golden Slumbers HITS: van der Westhuizen, a late obit MAIN MISS: Kincaid ANNOYANCES: Christie/Caslavaska KO-COMBO: Van der Westhuizen/Al-Baghdadi/Nakamatsu Pan Breed HITS: van der Westhuizen, Sims MAIN MISS: Christie ANNOYANCES: Al-Baghdadi, Caslavska KO-COMBO: van der Westhuizen/Sims/Stiles (I have a dream, a song to sing...) Which allows certain foolish predictions to be made. For example, Al-Baghdadi dies, DDT wins. Two of Jones/Langhorne/Wicks go, DI wins, gut feeling. Joost and Sims go, I win. Any of Spade's team die, he wins. Etc. The other sides with 100 points or more: Crossing the Styx 117 (Adamowicz, Bhumbiol, Booth, Campbell, Ciampi, Stiles, St John) Cancerous Hated 116 (Booth, Carter, Cisovsky (U), Farnham, Harper, Odjick, Ricksen, Robinson, van der Westhuizen) Poochie 110 (Bain, Hallenga, James, Langhorne, Mourinho Sr, Santiago, St John, van der Westhuizen) Deceased Hose 109 (Bain, Carter, Eiselen, Gubar (u), Hurt, Stewart, Tutu) The Love Boat 102 (Caslavska, Christie, Delpech obit, Haggarty, Kincaid, Nakamatsu, Robinson, Storrar, Yeaman) Buckets O Blood 101 (Booth, Cary, Farnham, Murray, Parra, Redstone, Romero, St John) DDP Tofoa 100 (Adamowicz, Carter, Farnham, Fawkes, Gabor, James, Kohl, Romero, van der Westhuizen) For now there are routes open to victory for them, but they are highly unlikely to say the least. To take The Love Boat, as an example, it is 43 points behind Quantick with a 49 point swing potential left. (That's removing people both Gcreptile and Spade have.) It could be done, but it's clearly not going to happen.