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Everything posted by msc

  1. msc

    The 2019 Deathlist Cup

    Hello, and welcome to the Knockout extravaganza, The Deathlist Cup. Twists and turns, drama, shocks, grumpy hosts, this thing has it all. The only deadpool I ever will run. We're back in February, so, if the first round draw happens on the 20th January, this gives everyone 18 days to decide if they want to enter the Cup or not, and there's already several confirmations. In 2017, deadsox beat Spade, he beat DDT and he beat Death Impends to win the first ever Deathlist Cup. In 2018, Sir Creep got to the final in swashbuckling form, only to find wily old DDT too much. Will DDT go two for two, or will another deadpool heavyweights fight back? Or will anyone win? Willz got to the Quarterfinals last year despite doubting his own ability all the way - outlasted one DDP winner in the process. It's a Cup, skill is good but so is luck. Come one, come all, and look at the new rules... Some Basic Rules which I've tried to explain as simply as possible, but which are open for questions about how obvious things I've forgotten work. The Deathlist Cup 1. This will be a knockout tournament featuring one on one matchups between Deathlist forum posters. These matches will be determined by use of a random draw, using Random.org. 2. If we have an odd number of players ie 30 like in 2017, then certain players will get byes to the Second Round. This will be based on results from the 2018 Cup ie Winner first, then Runner up, semifinalists, etc etc. 3. Players, on receiving their randomly drawn opponent, will have a ten day period to send the Referee their First Eleven for the match by PM, and one sub in case of an early death. These eleven picks can be very low hanging fruit if you so wish, as the point of the game is to score as many “goals” during the month a match is played. ie, a perfect team would look like this 1. Alan Alda 2. Jeb Bush 3. George Bush Jr 4. Bill Clinton 5. Hilary Clinton 6. Barack Obama 7. Jimmy Carter 8. Walter Mondale 9. John Major 10. Tony Blair 11. Donald Trump subs 12. Melania Trump 13. Dick Cheney 14. Sarah Palin As an example. Though in reality, that team would be shit for actually scoring points... 4. PROHIBITIONS – The following picks will be PROHIBITED ie NOT ALLOWED: death row prisoners, anyone who is a prisoner of ISIS or similar terrorist groups, people solely famous for being ill and nothing else, animals, no kids (that’s anyone under the age of 18), no one missing in action who blatantly died already. 5. For clarification, my views on Famous for Being Ill are extremely lenient by forum standards. Is your pick an obscure in their own field type, like a historian from Trinidad? They’re fine. Is your pick someone who is in coma due to a heart attack, or a dad on his last Christmas, or the like, the type no one would have heard of for anything? Don’t pick them, there’s PLENTY of other better options. There’s enough Kate Bowler (published academic, cancer) types in the world that you don’t need Kate Cancer Mum of the Mirror Sob Story. Thank you. 2019 note - This will be stricter in 2019, but 99.9% of picks never worry it. More Marsh Pratley, champion angler, and less pregnant mum discovers her baby is actually a terminal nuclear bomb, or what not. 6. If in doubt, submit a pick, but the decision of the ref (me) is final and is not open to any court of appeal. If you think it’s a dodgy pick, it probably is. If you think the ref is a grumpy Glaswegian, well, he is. 7. Each match will take place over the course of a single month. For example, a February match would take place from February 1st to February 28th (or 29th on a leap year), a March match from March 1st to March 31st and so on... 8. If you do not send your team in before the deadline, your opponent from the previous round takes your place. If neither has a team in, the opponent in the next round has a bye, and I hold a grudge. Hah. 9. Games will be scored in the following manner: A person in your team dies = 3 points A unique person in your team dies = 1 more point (ie 1 bonus point) NEW: Fatality – Your joker. Double points Someone famous only for being ill dies – 0 points because not in the team (hah, bet you thought I wasn’t paying attention here) 10. Here is what happens in the case of a team member dying prematurely (ie on 28th Feb for the March game). If you discover this before the 3rd of the month, your top sub will automatically go into place. If it is discovered on the 3rd or after, sorry about your luck. If it turns out the person was dead and known to be (this is determined via a reference in a newspaper or magazine, not social media) then subs don’t come into play. This was a bone of contention in 2017 AND 2018 and I hope this clears that up. If it bloody well doesn’t I’m instituting a Hewlett Rule in 2020 if still alive! 11. At the end of the month, the player in the match with the highest score wins that game, and will advance to the next round. The player who doesn’t have the highest score will lose, and be eliminated. 12. In the event of a draw, the following tiebreaks will be used: 1st tiebreak = number of hits 2nd tiebreak = average age of hits 3rd tiebreak = flip of a coin 4th tiebreak if needed = asking my child which team has the cooler name (heh) 13. A player is only held to one team for a single match. If they win their match and advance to the next round, they may pick eleven entirely different people for the next round. In this way, folk who announce their terminal illness in, say, May, can be put to good deadpooling use. 14. Qualifying obits? Every single English language newspaper or magazine (ie Bleeding Cool for example) in the universe. Also Le Monde, Le Figaro, Der Spiegel, Die Zeit, El Pais and El Mundo. If you still can’t get a QO, well, really… The referee (msc) may make a judgement call based on what he is provided with, and that call will be final. Forum posts on Deathlist, and your own blog don't count, sorry. 15. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IF YOU ARE GOING TO GET BANNED FROM THE FORUM, PLEASE SEND ME YOUR TEAM FOR THE NEXT MONTH IN ADVANCE. AND IF YOU DO GET BANNED, sending me “I hope your kids die” Private Messages will not get you reinstated. Just a heads up. Example Death Impends, msc, YoungWillz and JoeyRuss hypothetically take part. Random.org gives us these matches: 1. Death Impends v msc (feck) 2. YoungWillz v JoeyRuss This draw takes place in Month 1 (ie January) and is for matches taking place in Month 2 (February). After the draw, each player sends The Referee (ie msc) a team of Eleven Celebrities they think will snuff it in Month 2. Then, for the results: Joey scores in Month 2 with a big name celebrity and a unique but obscure punk music historian. Young Willz gets a unique big name celebrity. The score is 7-4 to Joey, who advances to the next round. Good luck!
  2. msc

    Alt Obituaries Deadpool

    Well, a lot of our number play this game, and Gcreptile currently leads it on Day 3 after Thomas Monson (related to Gorilla, right?). Given the Rotten Dead Pool appears to have gone the way of the dodo, and this pool gets talked about a fair bit - I found it via DDT - I thought it could have its own thread? Where we cheer on any of our lot against the (nearly) unstoppable Mr Tierney and co. The points system is similar but different to the DDP, and their criteria is somewhat America, but it's all good fun. Home Page Standings Who's Dead so Far Deathlisters playing in 2018 include Gcreptile, deadsox, Joey, me, Jireomon, Death Impends, Toast, and others I don't immediately spot. In 2017, Deathlister JiroemonKimura won, ending the reign of terror of Gerard Tierney, who won the 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 and 2016 editions. Good luck everyone. PS We should have started this thread in December and swamped it with DDPers but hey, always 2019, right?
  3. msc

    The 2019 Deathlist Cup

    Of course, best newbie is decided by survival, but there's a very tight race for it this year.
  4. msc

    The 2019 Deathlist Cup

    Yes. Unique for Banana! Rad will be annoyed after cassing this joint. And so will I. A DDP miss - stats suggested he'd be OK till 2020. Anyhow, could be crucial to the slippery one. Geddit? Banana peel, slip? I'll get my coat... Round 3 1. The Mad Hatter vs Boudicca 0-0 2. Rad vs Banana 9-10 3. John Key vs Death Impends 0-14 4. The Quim Reaper vs Book 3-0 5. Gcreptile vs Pedro 6-0 6. Chorizo vs Torva Messor 3-3 7. Bibliogryphon vs Spade Cooley 0-14 8. Deadsox vs Clorox 0-16
  5. msc

    Alt Obituaries Deadpool

    Ignoring her carny methods for a moment, that's a huge name in popularising modern folklore gone.
  6. msc

    Hooroo, Mate.

    Rather grim update on cult forum deadpool pick Jeanne Little here. Basically: bedridden, no longer able to talk or communicate, spoonfed. Probably not got long left tbh.
  7. msc

    MMMDP 2018

    Course there's room. This lasts not much time, and anyone moaning too many DPs can just, you know, not join in. It's what I do when I run out of DP steam.
  8. msc

    The 2019 Deathlist Cup

    Yes, Boudicca has beaten The Young Willz Cleansheet Record, which now stands at 75 days. Pretty good for a Cup newcomer. You can all wish her congrates now before the inevitable Mad Hatter winner as we all jinx her. I was waiting for another update, but things seem a bit slow right now.
  9. msc

    The Weather

    T-shirt and light fleece weather (circa 40C to -40C) I think you'll find, Bou.
  10. msc

    The Beatles Death Curse

    From Chris Jericho's 2nd book, a friendly meeting with Hutch. Fucking loved Macca.
  11. msc

    How many hits this year?

    Ya think this is bad, you should have seen 2010. iirc entire days went past at one point without a single new post on this forum.
  12. msc

    Political Frailty

    McDonnell has been having trouble walking, MRIs and stuff. Could be smokescreen but not the Labour frontbencher I most expect to do a John Smith (that'd be Abbott or Watson). Clarke is one to watch though. His drinking (more so since wife died) appears to be catching up with him, and in 2017 he had to step back from election campaigning for iirc multiple operations. I agree with Sean and Ulitzer, and don't think he'll live very far into his 80s. Any words on David Winnick of late?
  13. msc

    Time Added

    Well there''s a 4 year gap between Ronald Atkins and Sir Patrick Duffy! But yeah, with thousands of clubs in the UK, the odds must be high there are other footballers out there, but at this point, so obscure we'll only ever hear about them if they threaten super-centenarian age.
  14. msc


    Former WWF wrestler The Berzerker arrested for DUI and public endangerment. One of those names I expect to show up at any time as DOA in this thread tbh.
  15. msc

    FIFA World Cup Players

    Aww, sympathies with Maryport on the loss of a local legend.
  16. msc

    The Beatles Death Curse

    Johnny Hutch off The Big Three, 60s Merseybeat drummer who turned down a spot as Beatles drummer, reportedly dead.
  17. msc

    43. Clive James

    As hinted in the previous Reptile update, James recently underwent emergency surgery on a fast growing malignant spread of his cancer.
  18. msc

    Derby Dead Pool 2019

    Hope you get discharged soon!
  19. msc

    The 2019 Deathlist Cup

    To my mind, one of the great underrated wrestling commentary calls comes from the cursed WrestleMania VII at the end of the Undertaker/Snuka squash match. "I don't believe that! That is Superfly Jimmy Snuka!" Villainous commentator and all-round GOAT Bobby Heenan seems legit gobsmacked at the most protected murderer in 80s wrestling being treated by a newcomer like a complete redshirt. And I ain't saying he's a murderer, but he's certainly a Deadpool Veteran, so I feel much the same staring at the scoreline between 2017 Cup winner Deadsox and young Mr Clorox. Paul Severs gets his QO here. Hopefully by the time you see it, they'll have fixed the formatting crash, but it is what it is. Four points for Clorox, Deadsox gets to feel sever-ed, and I am properly gobsmacked in a way I rarely am... Round 3 1. The Mad Hatter vs Boudicca 0-0 2. Rad vs Banana 9-6 3. John Key vs Death Impends 0-14 4. The Quim Reaper vs Book 3-0 5. Gcreptile vs Pedro 6-0 6. Chorizo vs Torva Messor 3-3 7. Bibliogryphon vs Spade Cooley 0-14 8. Deadsox vs Clorox 0-16 Btw, Boudicca's clean sheet is now 68 days. She'd equal Willz's record on Thursday - can she make it? Keep tuned.
  20. msc

    Betty Driver Memorial Soapstar Superstar Thread

    Am afraid I've become far too safe and predictable a DPer, and my gut feeling picks tend to farm off to the theme teams (see McIllvanney). Sandy was considered for my "Spade Cooley obits" team but I had - wrongly - assumed a likely Eastenders theme team would have her!
  21. msc

    Betty Driver Memorial Soapstar Superstar Thread

    It's always sad to see a talent - which she was - overcome by personal demons imo. RIP In retrospect, this was an unexpectedly accurate post by me 6 months ago:
  22. msc

    The 2019 Deathlist Cup

    Ly Tong has sung his song, played his Pong, gone to Hong Kong etc. Rad cashes in his joker and takes the lead, the first time I think Banana has been behind in the Cup. Also cashing in Joker points is Clorox who takes a surprisingly commanding lead. The third team to have Tong Points is Spade, who has a deeply competitive knife edge tie... Round 3 1. The Mad Hatter vs Boudicca 0-0 2. Rad vs Banana 9-6 3. John Key vs Death Impends 0-14 4. The Quim Reaper vs Book 3-0 5. Gcreptile vs Pedro 6-0 6. Chorizo vs Torva Messor 3-3 7. Bibliogryphon vs Spade Cooley 0-14 8. Deadsox vs Clorox 0-12
  23. msc

    21. June Brown

    Starting to go blind? She walked right into a table few months ago on Eastenders!
  24. msc

    Mollie Sugden et al

    1. John Cleese 2. Prunella Scalees 3. Connie Booth 4. Robin Ellis 5. Lionel Wheeler (?) 6. Michael Cronin 7. Barney Dorman (?) 8. April Walker 9. Bernard Cribbins 10. Peter Brett 11. Andre Maranne 12. Louis Mahoney 13. Johnny Shannon 14. Nicky Henson 15. Imogen Bickford-Smith 16. Claire Neilson 17. Anthony Dawes 18. Geoffrey Palmer 19. Pamela Buchner 20. Una Stubbs 21. Denyse Alexander 22. Melody Lang 23. Sabina Franklyn Off the credited cast alone.

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