Windsor

On a white charger, he came. Cutting through swathes of mediocrity, beheading the boring, disembowling the inane. Nobody knew who this man was, nobody dared guess. Some believed that he was the returning Messiah of the DL forum, a man who once was here but went away. Welcome back oh great one!! Welcome back insanity! Welcome back bollocks! Welcome back, oh great disciple of Stanley Unwin. Welcome back BS! Its been so fucking boring without you. Swath cutting and disembowling really aren't my thing, but for heaven's sake man, if you need a beheading done just PM me! Well, if you are sure Madam. You might need a step ladder coz he is a lanky twat........ If only I could state something about you but I have never taken much notice of you. I'm not an aggressive cyber stalker looking for ways to deal with a mid-life crisis.

Erm...Winnys face when I kick the shit out of it? Still milking that episode for a bit of attention are we? Get over yourself. Of course I am Winny, its not like its real life or summat! Now what hospital do you want your face delivered to? I make that your fourth threat of physical violence against me. Are you sure you can punch and use your zimmer frame at the same time? Unfortunately I cant, I shall just have to batter you with the zimmer frame. That should be sufficient, especially with the bricks Im gonna tie to the legs!! You'd better eat all your liquidised veg then. Build up your strength!

Erm...Winnys face when I kick the shit out of it? Still milking that episode for a bit of attention are we? Get over yourself. Of course I am Winny, its not like its real life or summat! Now what hospital do you want your face delivered to? I make that your fourth threat of physical violence against me. Are you sure you can punch and use your zimmer frame at the same time?

Erm...Winnys face when I kick the shit out of it? Still milking that episode for a bit of attention are we? Get over yourself.

Perhaps you could point out where in this conversation I have shown paranoia? If we are still speaking about the address incident that wasn't paranio - I was not imagining it - they were speaking about it. It was preserved in print. Why not use that to remove certain annoyances from the forum? Again, please point out how the women having a forum of their own is handling him? His presence here forced them to ask for their own space for the sole purpose of getting away from him. That doesn't sound like they are handling him well to me, you clown. As for me giving him publicity, you were the one who who rolled out the welcome mat - so the criticism that I have given him the publicity he craves is frankly a bit rich. I have, though, regrettably given you more airtime than you would have otherwise have had. If you don't like the content of my posts might a I suggest that you do what you have so kindly advised me to do - and block me. With regards to your 'what goes around comes around' comment, I think you might want to remember who must have broken whose confidence first. I am very well aware of what happens behind the scenes. There is an awful lot of talking in private on msn etc - I have very little to do with that. If the people of this forum should happen to mention me in their conversations, I really don't care. I have never met any of them, and have no desire to do so - which is more than can be said for others. As far as the politics of this forum go, I have always been out of the loop - so I don't think that I'm the spineless one.

What a cunt. Now we'll never get rid of him. I think you say "COOOONT" up in Jockland. Hey, Winny, please explain how a young, handsome and intelligent lad like you can be such a cumudgeonly old bastard. If anybody on here actually thinks that this forum is better off without its insanity then I can only suggest you swiftly remove your heads from your arseholes. This place is absolutely nothing like it used to be... fuck, im saying all the things ive berated people for in the past, but its true. The characters are few and far between and those that used to pop in and out have now popped out never to return, probably. Yes the guy has issues but so do others, it wasnt a million years ago that a member feted for his wit and posting ability showed himself to be a viscious, spiteful nasty bastard by laying into a much loved member here. Did you berate other forum users for welcoming him back like the prodigal son, Winny? Live and let live son, life is too short, you have the ability to ignore and block and a brain too. Let the rest of us enjoy a bit of madness, eh? Given that I live in Jockland, I can assure you - you are still a 'cunt'. If having a raving nutter is what it takes to keep you happy then you are all obviously more easily pleased that I first thought. Then again, he perhaps serves you better as somthing to look down on, and something which you can easily outwit making you feel that little bit better about yourselves. Perhaps you could name the people in your story above, because I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. Ah, now you have fucked yourself over. The beauty of cyberspace is that you can, indeed call me a cunt without me ripping your head off of your shoulders and shitting down your neck. Of course, if you really want me to kick the crap out of you, Im sure one of the members would be able to give me your address...... Raving nutter? Perhaps he is, you, by the same token, need to grow some balls. He was never going to climb through your fucking window and stab you in the goolies was he. Amazingly, the women of the forum are easily able to handle him, you cant. Thats your problem , not mine or anybody elses. I think it wasnt 2 million years ago that I conducted a Poll regarding him and the consensus was that he should remain. That makes more than a few of us "cunts" then. Winny, I never look down on people, well some I do, but, generally,Id rather be looking at them sideways. BS is a source of amusement to me, I dont consider myself "Better" than him, any more than you consider yourself better than me, although you probably think you are better than me, what with your University Education and my Bash street Essex comprehensive school one, or summat. Have an opinion but dont try and force it on others, its actually made you look a cunt, you clearly cant handle him, your problem. As for the story, it wasnt a story, it happened. It involved DLs very own love child of Patrick Moore and a female member. Work it out if you wish, couldnt give a fuck if you do or you dont. Its just a playground here Winny, nothing more. Handle it or fuck off. PS: Its still "Cooont" you cunt. PPS: I didnt start it. Looks like our long absent friend is not the only 'nutter' on this forum... The women of this forum can handle him? With regards to the address thing that you are digging up from the archives, they were among the first to tell me to act upon it. Also, it was noted at the time that there were two nutters on the forum claiming to have my address at the time - both rather unhinged and one on this side of the Atlantic. Also, if the women are coping that well why do they have their own sub-forum? If I remember correctly, it was set up to give them a bit of respite from him - so they are really coping well aren't they? I would agree that this forum has changed a wee bit. For example, I've had plenty a complaint that it has become the LFN-Lardy show of late. I suppose now we can expect that to morph to the LFN-Banshee show from now on? Cunt.

What a cunt. Now we'll never get rid of him. I think you say "COOOONT" up in Jockland. Hey, Winny, please explain how a young, handsome and intelligent lad like you can be such a cumudgeonly old bastard. If anybody on here actually thinks that this forum is better off without its insanity then I can only suggest you swiftly remove your heads from your arseholes. This place is absolutely nothing like it used to be... fuck, im saying all the things ive berated people for in the past, but its true. The characters are few and far between and those that used to pop in and out have now popped out never to return, probably. Yes the guy has issues but so do others, it wasnt a million years ago that a member feted for his wit and posting ability showed himself to be a viscious, spiteful nasty bastard by laying into a much loved member here. Did you berate other forum users for welcoming him back like the prodigal son, Winny? Live and let live son, life is too short, you have the ability to ignore and block and a brain too. Let the rest of us enjoy a bit of madness, eh? Given that I live in Jockland, I can assure you - you are still a 'cunt'. If having a raving nutter is what it takes to keep you happy then you are all obviously more easily pleased that I first thought. Then again, he perhaps serves you better as somthing to look down on, and something which you can easily outwit making you feel that little bit better about yourselves. Perhaps you could name the people in your story above, because I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

What a cunt. Now we'll never get rid of him.

People with dementia can go on for years. But maybe we'll learn more in the coming days? I did report in the Nobel Prize thread that Louise Brown, the world's first test tube baby, said that the award couldn't have come at a better time for Edwards as he has not been in the best of health. I don't know if she meant dementia, or if there are any other health problems.

I'm not convinced that this will kill him either this year or next - but then I said exactly the same thing about Jade Goody in December 2008, and she died at Easter 2009. So I think that I might stick him on my DDP just in case...

Frank Thornton.

How was he looking? He looked good Is there a Madame Tussauds on the Isle of Man?

I take it you work in a care home then?

I'm not sure if anyone caught the BBC 10 o'clock news tonight, but Louise Brown (first test tube baby) said that the award could not come at a better time for Professor Edwards as he wasn't in the best of health. A handy scoop for 2011?

No. Dead.

Maybe you should contact the BBC to let them know. I think the Guinness Book of Records need to know. I will let my friend know, as its not really my place. A new set have come forward...but are still three months younger than my friend's gran and great aunt. Link

Ancentus Akuku Ogwela ,prominent Kenyan polygamist, has died aged 94. He had 100 wives, and 160 children.

Because they didn't think he was going to die.

Zsa Zsa Gabor's health continues to improve. Her feeding tube has been removed and she is eating on her own.

Prince Charles is in Delhi to open the Commonwealth Games. So watch this space...

Sir Robert Mark, Formerly a Met Police Commissioner, has died aged 93. I did consider him for my DDP, being one of the longest served holders of the GBE at the time of his death.

Maybe you should contact the BBC to let them know. I think the Guinness Book of Records need to know. I will let my friend know, as its not really my place.

Some Like It Cold.....

World's oldest twins turn 98. My friend's gran and her twin sister turn 101 later this year. Plus, wikipedia has a list of twins who are 99 and over. So they are not quite the world's oldest.

The US is now saying that Megrahi isn't even dying. So thats a bit of a bugger for us. He was my joker. As a cautionary measure, or just for the fun of it, I propose that we invent some sort of codeword that we could invoke whenever a Megrahi or Zsa-Zsa -like situation pops in the news. (For example, the fuss in December of 2006 when Omar the Blind Sheik's liver was about to explode and then nothing happened....) I don't mean when a person has been old or sick for a long time; I mean where there is an international media storm over someone's almost certain demise. I was thinking of something along the lines of "Abdelbaset Alert", code Orange, but perhaps the wordsmiths here could come up with something better. Or there could be a law or principle, like Murphy's and Peter's. Like, the amount of hype given to the c'lebs condition is directly proportionate to the amount of time he will linger on.... and on. We could call it the Pope Law. That fucker John Paul kept us waiting for long enough...