Windsor

Yes - and I'm the Pope.

Devestating news. Just devestating.

A famous Belgian?

Get yourself down to DL-CON III Windsor. It seems that you don't really have any job commitments, no friends to stop you, and I'm sure your family would be glad to off-load you for a day or so. Lardy could put you up for the night (fnarr, fnarr) so there's no reason not to. If you're short of cash, you could get LFN to spot you a few quid in lieu of a student loan. Problem solved. Interesting solution. Unfortunately I still will not be attending the conference. Getting a hiding doesn't sound like too much fun to me.

According to the rantings of the local evangelical minister in Fraserburgh, homosexuals are more likely to commit suicide due to loneliness. He wasn't too impressed when I told him that we were perhaps more likely to turn to suicide due to people like him. I think I have already spoken of this man.

I would love to be your friend too Yvonne, but I think my hatred of cats may be a buffer between us. I've been interviewed on the local radio station, don't you know. I also had a brief stint on Irish radio...

She was put on my 2010 DDP before the programme even finished. Aye, well, there goes yer unique pick bonus! I'm not too sure how ill she actually is as I can't remember hearing the word 'terminal' being used. But it must be terminal if she got a Pride of Britain Award...right?

She was put on my 2010 DDP before the programme even finished.

I've just realised that I have no real life friends left. What should I do about this?

Ah well - I've not won this sweepstake either.

He wants to die as soon as possible... ...but is still residing in Beijing for medical check-ups.

That site has a little retrospective slide show of her next to the article. I mean, it's fair to think that a 77 year-old might not survive a heart operation, but at least prepare your obituary in private. Went perfectly.

How did Samantha and me get over the death of our son? We got a puppy instead.

Brooke Astor's son is convicted of stealing from his mother.

I don't know, I think it depends how it's handled. I don't think they need to know about sex. However, I do think there's a lot to be said for children knowing the correct names of body parts just so they can articulate themsleves better if they are being abused. I think 11-12 is little bit late really to start teaching sex education as puberty is starting earlier and earlier these days. I think about 8-9 is probably about the right age but then all kids are different. Yes - but four and five year olds? Surely we should not assume that children will be abused. Teaching sex education for that reason is a pretty sad state of affairs.

You mean to say that you, a poor and destitute student, had a £5 note on you?! How dare you spend the fruits of my labour! I want it back NOW, you little f'ucker!!! I paid my own fees this year. You are no longer sponsoring this native Scot. And the purchase - a bottle of juice and a chocolate sweetie. This means I shall have to find something else to get indignant about. You have let me down Winny!! You've always got the Labour Government that England didn't vote for? I do, however, fear that the tables will have turned on that one in 2010.

You mean to say that you, a poor and destitute student, had a £5 note on you?! How dare you spend the fruits of my labour! I want it back NOW, you little f'ucker!!! I paid my own fees this year. You are no longer sponsoring this native Scot. And the purchase - a bottle of juice and a chocolate sweetie.

On Tuesday I went into a shop and tried to buy about £1.50 worth of items with a £5 note. The woman didn't serve me because she had no change. Nightmare. The man behind me then tried to buy a mars bar or something and asked, "Have you got change from a pound"? Should I have been as cheeky as that man, or was I right just to accept she had no change? (Is this the sort of hot topic you were after, Godot?)

Perhaps I'm a bit old fashioned, but is sex education for 4 year olds a good idea? I think that primary 7 (11-12 years) is about right - perhaps even p5. But not p1 - that is ridiculous.

Indeed - I return to the University tomorrow to begin my postgraduate year. I will enjoy it just as much as every single teenage mother enjoys her unexpected child. LFN and his English friends are off the hook though as I have paid my own fees this time round. So he can afford his odd means of travelling to the Vatican after all.

I'm with you on this one. I don't like Alex Salmond either.

I see. So he is also a violent man?

But fortunately Cameron and Osbourne are not the pair of great tits that most Sun readers focus on...

To make matters worse, he has my backing.

Sounds like she is ready to die. I bought my burial plot. I'm not ready to die - just prepared.