Windsor

I remember him most as the voice of Chef on South Park I remember him only as the voice of Chef on South Park.

I really don't understand why this woman is so popular. If you're a fan of Amy Winehouse, come to Fraserburgh's high street - it's the next best thing to Glastonbury.

A strange sense of déjà vu but nonetheless HAPPY BIRTHDAY WINDY, again! Why should the Queen be the only Windsor to have two birthdays? Thanks for your messages.

Happy Birthday Phantom.

I didn't think that washed up body parts would ever make me laugh. This article changed all that.

I voted to get rid of him because I think he's a dick. [Edit by CR - let's keep a running scoreboard. Please update the total at the end of each post. With a delightful flying volley, Windsor pulls one back for the Ousters, so it's: Keepers 1 - Ousters 1]

Interesting theory. I'll give it a go on the assumption that the magic number is actually 43...

I'm probably most like Tam.

The forces of good are just making sure that you vote the right way. Democracy is overrated - you only need to take a look at the current state of Britain to see that. People are keen to protect their rights, but seem less willing to stick by their responsibilities. I watched the schools question time last night and was sickened by it. At one point someone got a cheer for suggesting that Iran was entitled to nuclear weapons as Iran is a democracy. I was bloody livid. Is anybody else getting a bit bored of the whole anti-war thing whereby anything anti-war is greeted by enthusiastic responses from crowds? Bloody kids. Anyway...yes...they are just making sure you vote the right way...

Good. At last they've come to their senses and agreed. I mean what sort of threat can he be to anyone? I think it has more to do with justice. He is responsible for the death of another man and has not served his time for that.

This was on BBC Scotland last night. I saw it and thought of this thread. It caters to my immature brand of humour...

There is a stables at Philorth which is basically at the other side of the beach from Fraserburgh. When I take the dog over the beach, I also have to contend with horse sh*t. It is alright when they sh*t on the beach, but horseriders also take their horses over the dunes using the narrow walk ways. When the horse sh*ts there, you have no option but to try and leap over it. Either that, or struggle through the long grass. Living in a seaside town, I'm also used to the seagull problem. They say that if a bird sh*ts on you it's goodluck. I say that's untrue because not one person in Fraserburgh has won the lottery yet.

Does this 82 year old snort cocaine? Nope, but apparently he was a chain smoker according to my friend. But lets face it, having seen the latest pictures of Winehouse she looks worse that most 82 year olds. Quite frankly she looks like a hard worked prostitute coming up for retirement.

Does this 82 year old snort cocaine?

All the more reason to leave it on their door-step. What causes the most environmental damage? Dog sh*t or plastic bags (which most people use to pick up after their dogs)? By leaving it, you're helping to save the environment. (Having said that I do pick up after my dog (I have a pretty bad record when it comes to stepping in sh*t)).

Rev. Billy Graham.

Thank you all for your kind expressions on marking my 3rd DL anniversary.

Have you ever thought of writing a Basil Fawlty-type sitcom based on your care home experiences? I'll give it a go - the scripts write themselves in that place. I'm working with the Trolley girl again this weekend so there may well be more 'incidents' to report soon.

The 'Custard Cream Incident' is perhaps a misleading name, but it refers to the day I had 4 arguments within 4 hours at work one day. The first one took place within the first 15 minutes of my shift starting. A carer came to the kitchen and asked my assistant for cheese from our fridge. My assistant agreed and so proceeded to the fridge. The carer made her way round to the other door during which time I had a word with my assistant. I told her that we really shouldn't be giving her cheese (she wanted to make cheese and toast for herself) because if she got, everyother carer would have wanted and it would leave us cheeseless (we have to hand grate our cheese!). The carer overheard me saying this to the kitchen assistant and let rip with her vulgar tongue. She called me a 'ballbag' and then said (very sarcastically) that when she got home, she would bring in cheese to replace that which she had taken. This did ofcourse piss me off, so I told her if she wanted cheese she could walk up to shop and buy her own if it really wasn't such a big deal. In the end she got the cheese from my co-worker leaving me fuming. For the record, the staff are allowed dinner from the kitchen but that is it. It is not our job to feed them. The carer in question is a bold bitch anyway. She talks to people like sh*t and tends to get away with it because her mother, aunt and cousin all work there and back each other up. Then came the incident from which the chain of events gets it's name. Less than an hour after my first argument another carer came to the kitchen. She stood at the door and said asked my co-worker "Geez a Custard Cream". My dopey co-worker proceeded to the biscuit tray but then I stood in front of her and said "no". Had the cheese incident not happened, I probably would not have caused a scene, but being spoken to like that by the first cow put me in a foul mood. After I refused she once again turned to my co-worker and asked her again. I continued to block the way. The carer then snuck in behind me and stole the biscuit from the plate as my co-worker stretched it out to her. At that point I exploded and shouted to the carer 'Get out of this kitchen!'. I then went into a rant as to how we are not here to feed the staff. You will notice that on both occassions they asked my co-worker for the food. The reason they do this is because she has learning difficulties and will give out anything to her 'friends'. This is the girl who buys in frozen foods, lets them defrost, takes them home and chucks them back in the freezer. Anyway, that was the second argument. The third argument came about 3 seconds later as I fell out with my co-worker who had now completely ignored me twice. I tried to explain to her that she was not supposed to be giving out food left, right and centre to carers - the food was for residents who pay for the stuff. All the time during my little lecture she stood with her arms folded repeating the phrase, "I'm not listening, I'm not listening...". This only made me more angry. I directed her towards the back cupboard (away from the audience) and repeated my lecture. She took it in this time. I do regret having to do that. Not least because a week later there were rumours going round the home that I 'took her by the neck' which was completely untrue. The last argument came over an hour after that. I was getting increasingly pissed off during the day as I was hearing that the carers were speaking about me behind my back. At dinner time my friend Christopher was dishing up dinner's for carers and as he did so they were slagging me off saying how they had better hide there dinner from me before I threw it out. This was rather insulting because I've always given then leftover dinners - even backin the day when they were supposed to get nothing (office staff made up the rule for no staff meals, at that point I was fighting with them). So I was fairly pissed of. After dinner time a carer came to the kitchen asking for a dinner which was sitting on top of the microwave. This carer was the aunt of the one I fell out with in the morning. Because I was being viewed as a stingy food thrower-outer, I thought that I'd have a wee bit of a joke with her. I asked her who it was for, and if it was for a resident or carer. She didn't take the joke too well, started shouting at me and told me I had an attitude problem. The I fell out on her. I laughed at her and said, how could I have an attitude problem when I was actually following the rules. I then told her that before she goes about telling other people they have bad attitudes, she should look at her daughter (who works in the kitchen as well (I had previously fallen out with her already after she started slagging me off to other members of the kitchen staff behind my back for no reason whatsoever)). Believe it or not, I still have a job! Unfortunately, so do all of the abouve.

I can sympathies with that CP. My co-workers are just as selfish. A couple of weeks ago I was covering a kitchen shift. I was working with a 16 year old, Jade-Goody-like tink. Anyway, trying to be nice I arrived at work early just to get things going. There are two dining rooms at my work so I started setting the one which I would normally do. She comes in about 10 minutes later and tells me that I have set the wrong dining room and said I would have to do the other (in a less polite manner). I told her I had started this one, so would finish. She then made her way into the kitchen moaning to the boss (he came down on my side). Anyway, we are almost at the good part. To set the other dining room you have to put all the settings on a trolley and wheel it down a couple of corridors. So she set her trolley slamming everything as she went and cursing me under her breath. She made the mistake of piling everything quite high on the second shelf. So she starts pushing her trolley quite quickly, and it hits the very first door frame. Boof! Everything tumbles off the second shelf. There is broken glass and plates everywhere. She then does an attitude walk into the kitchen shouting at me, "This is all YOUR fault! This would NEVER have happened if you had set the other tables!". I couldn't believe it. I then shouted back that if I had known that she were incapable of pushing a trolley, I would have set the other tables. Then a big argument started up which ended with her threatening to punch me. She then decided she didn't want to work with me so she started phoning other employees to see if they could come in. You can imagine my rage when she revealed the cover she was phoning for was not for her, but to replace me! That is the worst work argument I've been involved in for a while. Probably the worst since the custard cream incident. Can't remember if I told you about that one...

I used to get grief for posting too much drivel. Now I get grief for posting occasional drivel. When I don't post, I get grief for that too. What have I learned? People either like you or don't. Changing your posting behaviour won't make a difference.

I haven't laughed so much since I past the Gordon Brown Memorial Gardens in Troon....

It doesn't matter if you seriously considered it or not. The fact is that you said it in an attempt to scare me. I don't know if you have done this to other members or not. In your post there you took it out of context. I distinctly remember you saying that you were going to 'damage me' with the information you had. From what you said, that information went beyond only a telephone number. You have been in Live Chat. I've been unfortunate to be there whilst you were. I've been tild by female members that you are quite the pervert when you get into full swing. As for PMs, you have sent me plenty. I can remember a few dodgy ones from when you thought I was a woman.

The 'no' vote seems to be benefitting from the phantom votes.

To add to the list of things Banshees has done. At one time he claimed to have my address and telephone number and was threatening to use them for some purpose. He supposedly got my details from TF, who acquired them from my long dead website/disaster. You could say it is my own fault for registering the domain to my real address, but I didn't expect people to use or threaten to use the information against me. I don't actually know if he did get my information though. Could have been him attempting to play power games or simply intimidate me.