torbrexbones

Does that mean that Kirk is 3% on the way to becoming immortal?

8am news on radio 2 said that he was going to attend at the Cenotaph, now that he hasn't I wonder what will be said.

Supertramp - Crime of The Century - whole album Timeless Classic

A well-known Russian historian has confessed to murdering his lover - a former student - his lawyer says, after he was found in a river with a backpack containing a woman's arms. Oleg Sokolov, 63, was drunk and fell into the river as he tried to dispose of body parts, local media said. Police then found the decapitated body of Anastasia Yeshchenko, 24, at his home. Prof Sokolov reportedly told police that he killed his lover during an argument and then sawed off her head, arms and legs. He is said to have planned to get rid of the body before publicly committing suicide dressed as Napoleon.

Catweazle and Ginger Baker

White squirrel spotted on Deeside. BBC story

Getting really fed up of the BBC filling it's news pages with gay/trans/drag queen stuff, the TV in general is almost as bad. I must be getting old, all that stuff was never even spoken about when I was young, now it almost seems compulsory.

Two parrots sitting on a perch. One says to the other, "Can you smell fish ?" Two goldfish in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing ?"

Does the killing of the 39 Chinese nationals count as a massacre?

Got my birthday card from those nice folk at the Bowel cancer screening place although it is more of a 'poo stick' these days.

What is a nuclear physicist's favourite food ? Fission chips. Why do Anarchists only drink herbal tea ? Because they know that proper tea is theft.

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.' At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000the jeweler said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.' The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.' On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said 'Sir...There's no money in that account. ''I know,' said the old man...'But let me tell you about my weekend.’ Not All Seniors Are Senile...

Whale washed up in East Lothian had 'agonising death' A whale found on an East Lothian beach suffered some of the "most severe" entanglement wounds ever recorded on Scotland's coast During a necropsy carried out on Monday, SMASS experts discovered the whale had been entangled long enough for the cord to work its way through the skin and blubber layer and into the underlying muscle layer. In some places, the skin had grown over the top of the rope, while in others it had set up a deep tissue infection and abscesses. There were goose barnacles attached to the rope - an indication, the experts said, that the entanglement had considerably slowed the swimming capabilities of the animal.

Olivia (again)

Olivia

Billy Connolly's autobiography 'Made in Scotland' is a good read for fans and gives some insights to where his humour came from. Not sure if non-fans would get much out of it.

For this very reason the correct answer should be "until she dies"

My Fantasy Football team on Yahoo died a death in the first week out, they were 5 point favourites on paper but lost by close to 40.

Would have been funny if the angle grinder was just out of reach or not plugged in but as it is, it looks set up.

if the rest of the leave voters are anything like me they just want to leave, deal or no deal.

Hammond said a no-deal Brexit would be "a betrayal" of the 2016 referendum result. I don't recall ANY deal being struck before the referendum.

Maybe should have had her on the list then instead of him.

Death by knife inserted where she least expected it.

Yet another politician has said that more citizens should carry guns and take the law into their own hands when the police don't get there quickly enough. Yeah, that should solve all the mass shooting problems.