TLC

Amongst other things no doubt, you smutty minded young man. Not an insult, just an observation.

Don't tell me, he turned up in the same gear as you...

Shock! Three pictures of Pete looking.... a bit dirty. One of his nose looking a bit red & sore, one showing his dirty fingers and one showing a sore on his arm that looks a bit like a fag burn but probably isn't... Quality reactions from the overly-sensitive posters on that site though. EWWWW!

Now I really do have a suitable person to use the ignore button on. If you'd have said to me before your admission 'make a sentence out of these three words; dinnerladies, at & laugh' I'd have drawn a blank. If it's any consolation, it would be difficult for me to think any less of you already so you've not gone down in my estimations much! I'm sure I've already confessed most of my worst stuff on various DL threads, mostly involving alcohol and weddings. But on the bedwetting theme, I think I can beat that. If I get extremely drunk, I occasionally sleepwalkpiss. Yes, that's right, not content to ruin my own bed in privacy, I have on at least half a dozen documented occasions (and presumably a few times more when I've not been caught) got up in the night, headed for the toilet and then take a wrong turning and either pissed up someone's bedroom door (about 4 times), just inside their bedroom (once) and the frontroom door of someone else's flat on my first (and last) visit there (once). The first five were committed against a variety of my flatmates' doors at three different properties over about 5 years. I have not even a shred of recollection of any of these events, it makes it hard to manage a genuine looking apology when it may as well have been someone else that did it as far as my memory is concerned... I sent flowers & chocolate to the girl whose house I dampened; she still speaks to me but mostly to recount the tale to any of her friends/family that haven't already heard it. Fair enough I suppose. Still, it's not all bad, at least I don't laugh at dinnerladies; that'd be the final step of shame to take me tumbling over the edge of the cliff.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IE+!

That's right, it's nothing like the X-factor; far more people seem to care about and are even prepared to pay to vote on that...

Smile TLC, have a sense of humor. These people show no regard for us, and after what they have layed down it gives absolute permission for me to crack a joke and customize a few Dar Dar names. If your girlfriend\best friend is of blood related to this decent, my apologies fly. Why not just go the whole hog and refer to 'these people' as Sand N*ggers like Joe Pesci's character does in Casino? They all deserve it after all, they're not like us etc. And Joe said it, so that's ok. Why would you only apologise if I'm close to someone of Middle Eastern descent? That's like only being sorry for doing something bad because you got caught. Makes the apology worthless. I have a sense of humour, and even smile sometimes. I like to wait for something funny to trigger those responses though. I will even laugh at things that I know I should find offensive sometimes, but they still have to be funny/clever as well as offensive. People being offensive just for the sake of it is where my sense of humour tends to fail. And 'dinnerladies', although I still have trouble believing it's even supposed to be a comedy. I mean come on, it's got Victoria Wood in it.

Go to Google maps, under the 'get directions' section try New York to Paris. Point no. 23 might prove to be a little tricky & somewhat time consuming....

Maybe it is finally time I used the ignore button, what the f*ck is wrong with you?

Because you couldn't further confuse 10/3 by using the cockney rhyming slang 'Burlington Bertie' and that just won't do. Most other countries just use metric betting so everything is x-1, which makes them instantly comparable i.e. you know instantly that 7.2-1 is more of an outsider than 6.8-1. Not only do we avoid decimals or fractions in the numerator, we also use various demoninations (1, 2, 4, 8 & 30) and we only use certain specific numbers too. You never get 19-1, 32-1, 68-1, 97-1 etc., they're always rounded to 20-1, 33-1, 66-1, 100-1. Maybe this was originally to reduce the amount of stupid arm motions that users of tic-tac (betting sign language secretive wierdness) have to learn? Saying that, betting more than makes up for this at the other end of the scale: Evens, 11-8, 6-4, 7-4, 2-1, 9-4, 5-2, 11-4, 3-1, 100-30, 7-2 etc. I've probably missed a few out too. Does anyone know why 33-1 is known as 'double carpet'? I'm pretty sure I've not just made that up.

Are there any doctors around? This thread seems to be displaying some classic symptoms of CastroNiemeyer Disease (stupid guest names, speaking in tongues) and once it takes hold I'm pretty sure it's untreatable. [Off topic posts removed - ff] Nicely done Dr. ff, nipped in the bud, outbreak prevented.

Bloody hell! England have just about beaten Bangladesh in what was billed as a Cricket match but in fact turned out to be a teeth-pulling contest...

The only famous islanders I know of are from the Channel Islands, and they're not old or ill. And they're both ex-football players. Matt Le Tissier is from Guernsey, and Graeme Le Saux is from Jersey. I think.

Presumably Revenue and Customs weren't actually pursuing him at the time of the crash, unless they have an agressive motorised unit?

Ta, that's what I'd like to think I meant. But before I completely write off my memory, didn't McLaren have some sort of advantage that year (1988 I suppose) when it seriously looked like the competition were all driving Sinclair C5's? Did everyone else prepare in advance for the turbo outlaw by naturally aspirating their engines (if that's what it's called, my car knowledge begins & ends with Gran Turismo 4) before the 1988 season started, but McLaren still used the 2.5 bar maximum turbo boost limit for one more season or something like that? Fingers crossed...

Man U 5 Roma 0 after 50 odd minutes. Crivens! Almost good enough to make me not want to strangle David Pleat mid-commentary. Make that 6-0 in 60 mins. That's got to be worth a Jings! Still want to strangle Pleat though.

Well it is a Diesel, so I shouldn't need a fuel stop, and at the speeds I'd be doing round corners I doubt I'd need a tyre stop either. It's allegedly a Turbo too, but not seen much evidence of that in the almost 2 years I've had it so shouldn't fall foul of the turbo ban... Just need to get myself some leatherette driving gloves (semicircle cut out of the back to allow the skin to breathe, of course) a rock driving anthems CD and I'll be away. I remember the turbo ban because (apologies F1 fans for shaky knowledge) McLaren kept theirs for a season longer than most of the other teams (there was a 'transitional' year to phase it out) and won almost every race by a mile. When was that, '88 or '89?

Going by my own experiences, your friend has an unusually reliable Astra. I reckon I could do it in my Peugeot 405, although I'd still be trying to build up sufficient revs to put it into 5th gear before I reached the finish.

Perhaps the fact that these days I only leave the house to go to work or go shopping has increased my inclination to read everything posted on this site a bit too closely, and to desperately find something to post about. Due to the incredible financial rollercoaster (well, slide) I permanently ride, this site has become almost my entire social life; a year and a half ago I'd have probably took the p*ss out of someone who regularly posts on a forum.... I'm sometimes very guilty of wanting to post and then trying to find something to post about, rather than posting because I've got anything to say in advance. I'm reactive not pro-active; funny, my manager has noticed that too... Can't be me then, complete gibberish sounds like a bit too much effort. I'm sure someone will tell me soon enough that I have, in fact, completely got the hang of it.

I'd prefer a landslide involving both.... F1 has bored me since they brought back fuel stops. My tiny mind can't cope with fuel stops and tyre stops because from about lap 10 to the end of the race I've got absolutely no idea who's really in the best position. Plus too many races seem to be won and lost due to pit stops rather than driving skills, or at least they did before I stopped watching. I appreciate I'm probably missing the point, who'd have thought it?

I've not got anyone on ignore, I thought it might affect the continuity of reading the other posts if I did that, forgetting that anything relevant or of interest from ignored members will probably be quoted. I'll leave it for now and see if I can exercise more restraint, I do try but I have my weak and/or curious moments. Well, when I say moments.... The fact that you replied to my non-quoted post means (I think) you have chosen not to filter out my ramblings for the time being; I shall try and keep it that way. You'd not be on my ignore list even if I had one, you'll no doubt be delighted to know. And no, I don't just say that to all the men. Couldn't Florrie have met Queen Victoria as a 4 or 5 year old just before the Queen died? Admittedly I've not read the Sun article so I don't know if Florrie claimed to be a teenager when they met (or something else that doesn't fit the facts) but as per your post it's just about possible isn't it?

Forgive my slow wittedness, but My best guess is the above means 'people who live their life without recognition or fame are often the true legends' but as this thread is 'World's Oldest' I don't see the connection, not that I can criticise just for going off topic. If it is off topic. Being world's oldest is just about not dying for a really long time, not really about achievements or greatness or fame or goodness. If the world's oldest person happens to be a child molester or murderer etc. they still remain the world's oldest, like it or not. Or do you mean we should only recognise the world's oldest people who don't get recognition? That could be tricky... I look forward to being corrected with style. And some panache if that's not too much trouble. I promise I'm not questioning you just to be a pain, I really really don't follow you. Really.

She dreamed a premonition. We experienced déjà vu. I can honestly say I now follow your story as per your reply to To die for, sorry for being a bit slow.

Not at all embarrassed to see that just before Charlton v Reading kicks off we (Charlton) have got a Freddy Mercury look-a-bit-like-if-you-squint singing 'We Will Rock You' on the pitch, presumably to inspire the crowd or some such bollocks.... Surely our crowd should get worked up because there's a fair chance of Premier League survival now, after months of being resigned to relegation? You'd think that'd be enough.

I mentioned my curiosity with the universe and even the greatest of all great minds don't know how it slides. I thought we may have lived his death once before, him in a different hat in shoes or possibly the same reality. I'm very skeptical of this as I say it, but it is a point of view that gets you thinking. So (No) I don't really mean a premonition in the most part. But definitely not déjà vu, that's the feeling at the time that the event you are experiencing has happened before. So for it to be déjà vu, whilst your friend was dreaming of Steve Irwin's death she would have had the feeling that her dream of Steve's death had happened before, nothing to do with his actual death. I am feeling déjà vu whilst typing this, if that helps.