TLC

It isn't? I wish someone had told me sooner. What a f**ing waste of my time... 400+ posts and I'm not even going to get laid? I thought I'd been grooming CP beautifully. I was trying to style out the fact that I've got nowhere in 300+ posts by pretending to be using this forum for other purposes. Are you grooming CP for personal use, or for the open market? If for the market, does that make you a feeder or is that something else entirely? A friend asked me to ask, I nearly forgot to add that important disclaimer.

Happy Birthday Phantom! I shall spare you any of my 'witticisms' today; it is your birthday after all and that's the best present I can offer!

I can't handle the heat here, so I think I'll pass up your exciting invitation to sweat myself to death in considerably less than 6 months. From the other end of the thermometer, I'll wear shorts & t-shirt down to about 0 degrees (depending on wind-shill factor) and be happy; my problem is that people who get cold can just wear extra stuff. I can't stop myself sweating like a pig once it gets to about 25 C and I have to wear a suit. To be fair my problem is partly caused by a medical condition (side effect of diabetes that's really come to life over the last few years) but people just look at me as if I don't wash or am somehow intrinsically unable to master basic hygiene practices because of the sweating. Possibly a fair enough reaction, it's that bad my work shirt that goes in the laundry basket on a Monday can still be wringing wet when I go to wash it the following weekend; thought you'd like to know. Thank god this isn't a dating forum, my profile doesn't scream 'Alpha Male' does it? Spot on regarding the young ones OoO, but complete coincidence that I used it yesterday. I just thought of it as I was typing, I've not seen that episode for about 10 years.

If drugs were that cheap and readily available where I live I'd vote my country as a happy place. Presumably the shootings mostly happen between the ones who've sobered up long enough to see what's actually happening to their country. Does anyone know the average life expectancy of Colombian politicians? I seem to recall reading somewhere that it really is an incredibly dangerous job to have, and murder is one of the most common cause of death for them. Google was not my friend on this occasion.

Does this theory apply to DL members too?

Just had to look that up, I'm not surprised you don't want to get drunk then, certainly if my drinking experiences are anything to go by! I hope it doesn't affect other areas of your life as much as it seems to with some sufferers. Missing out on the wonders of piss-artistry is not necessarily a bad thing, just ask my liver. Not that it says much these days, I think it still suffers from post-traumatic stress due to having being overworked for my entire twenties.

Well resuced BHB, I was veering towards topic relevancy for a moment. I too have some Buffy box sets. Far from needing to speculate, I'm desperately trying to think of anything else. I presume the use of phrase 'crack open' was purposeful, presumably to enhance the unpleasantness of any speculations by your fellow DL'ers?

80 pages of near misses for 2006 eh, and only in July. How long did it take to whittle them down to just the 50? Or does near misses mean 'too famous for the 'not exactly famous' thread but not included on the DL, whether we had ever discussed picking them for it or not'? Seriously though I'm not trying to stir, I'm trying to avoid the thing if I ever post on one of these threads, and the subsequent abuse that repeat offenders (one springs to mind ) get.

Does anyone else get sick of people whose happiness is entirely linked to the thermometer & lack of cloud cover? No problem that people prefer the sun etc., but to suggest that I must be 'loving it' today simply because I get to commute into Central London in a f*cking suit* on trains that don't even have those crappy air vents on any more and windows that only open about 3mm in case someone can climb out for christ's sake, is complete madness. Perhaps if my job was to sit outside with a beer and do nothing all day then yes, but apparently it isn't. When I'm at work I'd rather get a bit of light drizzle, with nice weather for when it serves some purpose. Is there anyone I can write to to express my outrage at the haphazard weather arrangements in this country? An Ombudsman? The Daily Mail? My Local MP? The lead singer of Echo & the Bunnymen? 'Dear Mr Echo...' Probably with the Mail you'd just have to suggest that immigration was causing the heatwave ('they come over here bringing their bloody African weather with 'em, I don't know') and then they'd be right on to it. *just a normal suit I'm afraid, I have no special 'f*cking suit' that I wear to work. Yours indignantly, Outraged of SE London (name witheld)

Cheers for the info SC, I must admit that I originally asked in jest to excuse the quality of some of my posting, but still good to know. I had always had a suspicion that hallucinogens would at worst tip someone over the edge who was already teetering, rather than having a direct cause & effect, but always good to have suspicions confirmed. Doesn't explain why I keep imagining I'm still back in 'Nam though. And it's just a coincidence that my last Avatar looked almost exactly the same as the picture on the acid tabs above, or at least it's a coincidence on my part.. Briefly flirting with the topic in hand, even taking into account the slightly better resolution of the picture that Captain Oates provided a link to, it's still rubbish. The fact is that could easily be a 1985 picture of any self-respecting New Romantic lying on the floor after an exhausting night out, with their collar up in the correct style of the time. Quite why a naked man with a drill is attacking the person in question I'm not so sure, although listening to too much Kajagoogoo would probably drive most people to it. To me, disturbing or harrowing generally (but I admit not exlusively) means blood and/or gore. A photo of a dead or dying person in itself doesn't do it for me; my New Romantic speculation above is relevant insofar as you can't even necessarily tell from the picture that there's anything wrong or who it is. So if it's just the constant reminders of the 'Princess of Hearts' that are harrowing, then that should apply to any picture or video footage of her at all, or even merely the continued press speculation over nothing at all. Maybe I'd feel different if pictures of my dead mother kept appearing in the press, but she's not and they're not likely to so I can't judge my reactions. However, I cannot on principle (a rare one for me) accept the 'you've not been there, so what can you possibly know?' style of argument as a valid one, so I'll stick with what I said above.

So 40 years on top of the first one I did aged 17 or 18; hopefully I won't get them in the afterlife, because I reckon I'll be there long before 2031/2032.

Congratulations on your 300th post TLC. Thank you LG, it's pleasing that I signified such a landmark with yet another of my hugely witty yet relevant and informative posts. Much like this one. I'll see if I can sneak a relevant post or two somewhere in my next 300. Good news if I do, otherwise it's another 300 variations of this, which is bad news for all you horny readers DL'ers out there. I will also endeavour to post less 'faux-Shakespeare' in future, even by my standards I'm not quite sure where that one came from; it's currently in the Pinochet thread, possibly heading for the trashcan... Anyone know how many years after the event you can get acid flashbacks for?

Ah yes, a good 20 minutes! Swiftly followed by a torturous couple of hours. Especially in Winter, when the beer jacket & compass set purchased from the pub over the course of the evening suddenly stop working.

George Melly, because quite honestly no-one's got a clue so why not? And he does insist on wearing those bloody deckchair print suits, so if this is the best way for me to never have to see them again...

A bucket head-shaped ghost sort of looking over its right shoulder with an annoyed look on its face, if I'm looking at the same bit of the pic as you? Although it's possible you may not interpret exactly as I have... Looks like some kind of evil sprite. I have also come to the conclusion that Diana must have been applying mascara around her left eye at the time tragedy struck. The evidence is pretty conclusive if you have a look.

May I request this topic is now locked, as anything added to this thread after the above point will look the work of an illiterate amateur. I believe the following quote sums matters up rather well, I'm sure you'll all agree: - "Once the meat of the mightiest Ox has been put upon the table of Kings, all that doth follow is no more than garnish; at once useless, pale and unworthy of its place beneath the Royal Gaze." William Shakespeare, from 'King Pecudes' or 'The Mighty Oxen Heresy' Act 2 Scene iii. Wise words indeed from one of the Bard's lesser known but no less important plays*. The exact line as quoted above was removed from the second folio, for reasons never fully explained. *The large amount of animals (in both number and species) essential to the essence of this play made successful productions of it extremely rare (and rather challenging) in Shakespeare's day.

I see I have again fallen foul of presuming that the stuff my mum told me as a nipper was common knowledge.... Not that my knowledge matches the esteemed wikipedia; I just thought it was a 'common' name for a particular type of spider. In my early childhood (late 70's-early 80's) I think it covered any of the really tiny black spiders i.e. less than a few millimetres. Although the clue was in the name, I had never actually connected them with coming into money or good luck or the like, until I read that poignant story. How very remiss of me, I could have missed out on a fortune over the years due to my complete lack of arachnid-based financial decision-making abilities. They never teach you the right stuff at school to prepare you for the real world, do they?

I hope nothing was lost in transatlantic translation, I meant tramp as in bum rather than someone who puts it about a bit, although it's probably a good description whichever way it's meant. But bum juice is something entirely different, and far less pleasant. Not unconnected though, a bout of bum juice can often follow a night on the tramp juice (or tramp fuel) if you get my drift... May your sobriety last just as long as is necessary to help your recovery, whether that's weeks, months or for good.

Things to read to induce death... To avoid this, the two choice quotes from the badly written article about undeserving lottery winners are: - Presumably she's two then.... That's what 12 years of working at MacDonalds does to you I suppose.

Wow, just noticed you said it's in Dartford. I only live a drunken walk home from there (about 5 miles), when & where about is it held?

A bucket head-shaped ghost sort of looking over its right shoulder with an annoyed look on its face, if I'm looking at the same bit of the pic as you? Although it's possible you may not interpret exactly as I have... Cowboy Ronnie, that picture is very grainy indeed, yet still very clear.

Not dead, good news! Hearing the words 'not malignant' has got to feel extremely good. As long as they're from your Doctor of course, not just in passing... However, why still this strangely comprehensible run of posts? Sir, are you sober? Or did you realise that the keys on your keyboard aren't supposed to be in alphabetical order and finally got round to putting them back in the right holes? Or did you just get bored typing in that style all of the time? I must say that whenever I've been pissed on here it has the opposite effect; I can still spell & hit the right keys, but the points I try & make become a little unclear, whereas your posts generally make sense if you can decipher the spelling. How does a bit of the old tramp juice affect other people's typing? Discuss.

I still can't decide whether or not I hope you're joking about the whole set of Wyatt-based 'misunderstandings'. Actually that's a lie, I hope it's all true.

You are, or you perform? Both. I am also 26% vain. Not sure if that's a help or a hindrance. By my reckoning the less vain you are, the more likely you'd be to perform the less luscious trickz. So that means..... er..... oh dear. Have I managed to put both feet in it yet, or just the one?

That looks like a man stroking a mop. Either that, or she had a pudding bowl haircut just before her final journey. Hmmmm.... Or, maybe that's the hand of Paris's finest crime scene barber just fluffing it up a bit for the cameras; after all, the French wouldn't want such a style disaster to be forever associated with their capital city.