Magere Hein

Not sure what's worse - bestiality or necrophilia...There's only one way to find out.....Urgh. We have a separate topic for that sort of questions. Actually, if you want to know the difference, ask my ex-husband - he's shagged loads of pigs and pensioners. He shagged retired policemen? Urgh. regards, Hein

Martin Gardner is 95 today. He's still writing books and publishing puzzles and, sadly for the two teams who picked him on the DDP, he looks fairly unlikely to die before 2010. I'm afraid he got stuck somewhere in a Klein Bottle, 'cause he's dead. regards, Hein

Not sure what's worse - bestiality or necrophilia...There's only one way to find out..... Urgh. We have a separate topic for that sort of questions. regards, Hein

I prefer the third option: to remember the page number. If the choice is between the two above: a bookmark (which looks remarkably similar to a cash receipt or a train ticket). If it's a bound book, I use the dust jacket. Dog-ears are barbarian. There's a fourth option: tear out and throw away the pages read. Italian or French cuisine? regards, Hein

And now his colleague Julio Aparicio got one under the chin. Warning: the picture with that article is rather disturbing. regards, Hein

Mr Demjanjuk had another appointment at court today, so he throws a sicky. Again. It would be nice if this were the real thing. regards, Hein

I have one, so I'd love to try the other: dazzling good looks. Sex, drugs or rock'n'roll? regards, Hein

\,,/(*_*) that one? The resemblance is remarkable: regards, Hein

It did indeed escape my attention. Site updated to reflect Dio's death. Does anybody know some juicy gossip about Dio to enhace the write-up there? regards, Hein

Even Auntie has it, so that makes it official. regards, Hein

French mathematician and physicist Joseph Fourier died on this day in 1830, aged 62. regards, Hein

Portsmouth, you snotty-faced little shit. Bitter or lager? regards, Hein

Live band, even when it's one of those "busker-in-a-corner-of-the-room-with-a-guitar-that's-short-a-string" affairs. Unless s/he only plays Oasis songs, in which case a disco is better. Or a rope and a quiet staircase, for that matter. PC or Mac? regards, Hein

Seconded, regards, Hein

I've seen bar barneys about this subject. Salt and vinegar, by a small margin. Living coward or dead hero? regards, Hein

Another chairman of the board, Willem Drees died today in 1988 at 101 years of age. regards, Hein

They're all at it: Green Party councillor dead after falling out of tree I suppose we'll be getting rain: the politicians are flying low. regards, Hein

One in the hand when it's cooked. Two (preferably more) in the bush when alive. Down the drain or up the creek? regards, Hein

By the way, who is Joy? May well be the same person to whom Beethoven wrote an ode, considering Heesters' age. regards, Hein

As a first approximation I'd guess: he'll sing with joy. regards, Hein

I don't remember him telling me not to shag any billionaire heiresses. Neither do I, as I don't remember this man telling me anything. Of course not. Not that I get to shag billionaire heiresses every day, but I wouldn't object to it. Which reminds me of a moral lesson a colleague of mine once gave: don't shag your neighbour's wife. And don't shag your neighbour, if he's married. regards, Hein

Ah, the old "Do as I say, not as I do" gambit. The technical term is hypocrisy, I seem to remember. regards, Hein