Brinsworth House Baiter

I just know I'm going to get crap here because there is undoubtedly a similar thread elsewhere that I can't find despite searching... Anyway, as pertinent as 'Read any good books' or 'docter, docter'.... Went to see Bon Jovi on Friday night at Southampton football club and, despite my initial reticence, was actually quite impressed. Despite Mrs BHB wetting herself every time Mister Jovi even glanced in our direction, it is undeniable that the guy's one helluva showman. Highlights for me were their rendition of Fogerty's 'Rockin' All Over the World' and Richie Sambora...henceforth known as Legend. He took the vocal duties for I'll Be There For You and I loudly voiced the opinion that they should let him sing all their ditties and sack the little blonde poof...which didn't go down too well. Seriously, live, this man is as good as Blackmore. Support was provided by Canadian Nickelback and they were sh*t hot. On stage they are much 'rockier' than their studio efforts and Chad (I think) is an amusing front man. Good gig. Over to you, fellow DListers!

Couldn't resist...kept peeking. Doesn't seem to have got any less 'Big Brother' though...I hear there's bad boy points to be earned now...tut, tut, and that you were banned before they were intoduced. Fancy calling somone an odious old,,,,, Bad boy...I do hope Bou is keeping you in check...I always liked her.... I see the Dicjy O' thread burst the 1000 thread & I also saw that the likes of Windsor & Tempus added to the celebrations by comenting how odious it all was...oh the irony... On a personal level...just had a beautiful baby girl....hence my absence...what amI saying? Godot...still here despite the oppression & Vlong live Dicky O'. Oh, and a big shout to Doctor Hackenslash while I'm here... stirling work....

OK Mr.Ronnie 'thanks' cough cough ........................ For me your tone here in a way is hard for me 'to figure out' but I have a pretty good idea what your getting at. I guess you ask yourself 'how the hell does this guy go from that - to this?' It can't be for real. Well let me tell you Ronnie, I realize I've made posts that are crazy or even more extravagantly 'some posts' have 'made little' if no sense at all. If you want an answer I guess I've had my bad days, and I've posted effortlessly which I can't blame members who are so consistent 'for criticizing' because 'if anything' on those circumstances I deserve it based on the sh*t I post. I mean Ronnie, would it really be any fun if everybody posted like Godot? Don't get me wrong, Godot is a very sophisticated poster but for f**ks sakes man 'what would the attraction be?' Everybody post like a morbid author with a strict vocabulary who is a warm milk drinking scholar in his spare time? f**k that. Seriously. From now on 'everybody can see my serious side' and there will no longer be any posts that are hard to figure out. I will be direct and I'll say it exactly the way it is. I log in on Deathlist for two reasons, I find it a learning experience and second I find it at times very entertaining 'and I'm sure' some members could agree with that. I feel intended grudges are if anything very immature, and one of my qualities is forgiveness. I don't really hate anybody, so if you think my sudden apologetic efforts are 'insane' remember 'it's the internet' .. your lover Harry Mcnally has been disrespectful for some time, so I decided to trash him 'and I did' he got drunk and pissed off and sent me his bullshit ... and it's over. As an adult I have apologized. In the end if there is anything I will contribute 'it will be my perspective' and it will be 'my perspective against others'. Now I'm off to give Star Crossed a Holler because if you don't think 'Cheney - Obama' being cousins is a big deal I wanna know who in your family went into cardiac arrest last night. I found it really helps to read the quoted post in an Irish accent, like that bloke off 'Mock the Week.' Try it, you'll see I'm right. It at least makes Banshees' twatiness sound funny. BHB

I didn't quite know where to place this. Apologies if I upset anyone due to my misplaceage (it might be a word! If not, it damn well should be), but I hope my old friend, MH, would give me his blessing. Certainly the mods would not have blessed a new thread entiltled 'My dog, my mum...one's dead, one's dying!' Allow me to explain. A few weeks ago my dog died. After 14 years by my side. I had to put him to sleep, the arthritis in his hinds legs meant he had no standard of life and he was in such pain that I had to carry him outside to the garden every time he needed the toilet. He was a greyhound/lurcher, so this was no easy task. Anyway, he was in my arms as the vet put him to sleep and I didn't think I'd ever cry so much again. A week after that, my Auntie Iris died. She was nearly 90, lived half her life with the after effects of a stroke but the end was peaceful. Then, last week, my mother's cancer was deemed inoperable. Apparently two years would be an outside bet. So, as you might think, my life is a little, well, sh*t at the moment. I say all this because I've been a little down recently and my wife said 'but isn't this what your death list is for? To make you feel better?' So, I thought I'd try and write how I feel, amongst friends, and explain why I won't be round for a while. It's easy to joke about death, just not when you're in the middle of a field surrounded by it. BHB

Tinned Shergar United? Cheers, BHB P.S. NAP, did your chivalrous tiebreak throwing pay dividends and result in some romantic fumbling with said ladies or are you too much of a gentleman to tell?

Banshees wrote: Why is he? Is he currently performing the the wish of several DListers by punching the f**k out of your left ear? Hopeful cheers, BHB

Carked it would do, rather than getting too eloquent about it. Earthly tabernacle is flowery though and I hereby salute your vocabulary. Cheers, BHB

And meanwhile, back at the ranch? Cheers, BHB

I've just noticed that I am approaching twuntdom, if that is the correct phrase in these parts for nearing 1000 posts. I also notice that Godot, the esteemed gentleman in the hat who invited me to join these murky waters, is approaching double that number. On the verge of becoming a double twunt, if you will. Twuntdom is certainly something that would look very good on my CV at my time of life. Indeed, having failed to embark upon a life of crime during my late teens (couldn't start the stolen Cortina), missed out on that dream job (job owner realised I'd slept with his sister) and missed out on the Army (inherited Hancock's flat feet, despite being no relation), I am looking forward to stepping into twuntdom. Death Listing is finally something I can do. Probably not very well, but I've lasted, despite a lengthy sojourn to a real world where the virtual access is few. Or something. I'd like to say that I shall approach twuntdom with the employed cool of said Godot who stopped and teetered on post 999, but alas, I shall never breathe the minty cool air that Godot inhales. Instead I shall be marking off the posts on the wallpaper next to my little computer corner in the living room. It's about as rebellious and cool as I get, but I shall be doing it with the anticipating glee of a sixteen year old alcoholic who's realised that it's not long before he can take his alcoholism behind the wheel of a car. Honestly, becoming a twunt won't change me. My posts will still be as lame, doddering and fumbling as ever. Being lame, doddering and fumbling is the way is it is in the House of Brinsworth. And Godot, my old chum, any thoughts concerning your imminent double twuntdom or did you plan to spend it quietly behind your sunglasses? In which case, I apologise for bringing attention to its imminence. Cheers, BHB

He'll be a popular boy inside though, what with all that money and all those drug connections. Or mebbe not so popular when they find out he ain't sharing. It truly is a car crash of a celeb career, but I don't think it'll be suicide though, Harry, (to cross one off the legion). I don't think he'd have got to where he did if there were any elements of being a quitter in his make-up. When Tyson goes it'll be murder and won't that perp be Mister Big on the landing? Cheers, BHB

Millwall 32 wrote: I really hope you were dyslexic with the word hate and weren't confessing to some celebrity cunnilingus on very simple grounds... Cheers, BHB

Ooh, of all the cities to make such a faux-pax. Not very forgiving, the Scousers- just ask The Sun and FHM magazine. Cheers, BHB

Has it really been 29 years since she went missing? I remember this when it happened as I grew up in Devon and there used to be black and white photocopied posters on the telegraph poles all over the place. I suspect that it was actually probably only in Devon as in those days there obviously wasn't the Internet and the opportunity to launch drives of Madeleine proportions. I hope something turns up as to the girl's whereabouts as those posters haunted me as a nine year old- nothing like that really happened in sleepy Devon, it always seemed to be 'up London way' and up North. If nothing else it would provide the family with some much needed closure as I suspect thier hope has begun to ebb for some time. BHB

Hey, Lord, Still on your bender? Only asking as there only seems to be a couple of posts since this one (the last one was class by the way!). Keep posting- don't let offending, angering or bemusing anyone stop you from posting. It's like walking back into that pub at morning opening time and saying 'okay, so who the f**k did I upset last night and is there a contract out on me?' Maybe. If you drink in the kind of pubs that I do in my head, but in reality are quite safe until the gunman walks in...f**k, see? There I go again... Come on, get posting- or, in language you might understand at the moment...gte potsing. Cheers, BHB

Good spot. I so hope it's true, just for the petulant way he threw down his monitor on Saturday. And an endless list of other petulance related crimes since seeking employment in this country. Cheers, BHB

No ta about it- they were really working for me. I know we're talking about dreams and I was conscious while they were working, but hey, it's Stevie Nicks, right? Stevie Nicks and back-passage-blow-backs. Mmmm. Oh no, it's still working... Cheers, BHB

I dunno... I've been thinking about this. And I've studied the video. A bit. Quite a lot actually. In fact it's taken me ten days, wrist sprain and several stern warnings from Mrs BHB, but I have to say that I have reached a conclusion. Many people have criticised her costume and suggested she's overweight, but I have to say that I still find her totally doable.* Cheers, BHB *verb. Meaning to fancy in a rumpy-pumpy sort of way. Origins, probably, one of the Bronte sisters- source- The Pooka in the Dicky O' thread.

I just bought his new game for my PC, Colin McRae's Helicopter Simulator, but it keeps crashing. Excellent! You see, that was exactly the type of morbid, death realted pun type joke I was seeking, but the guys in my mind's joke factory totally failed. I'm currently sacking the lot of them with another can of Stella. Cheers, BHB

'Twas indeed heartwarming in this cynical footballing age. Although, given its cynicism and financially driven targets, can we now look forward to lowly, struggling teams finding themselves a goal down and presenting a sacrificial cardiac victim to abandon a game? It might well be a tactic to use when star players are out due to suspension or injury and are eligible to play the reinstated fixture. I think we should keep an eye on Bolton. If anyone's going to be desperate enough to administer induced heart attacks it's going to be Sammy Lee over the course of the season... Ahem. Possibly. Cheers, BHB

Okay, this will be my last post in this thread. Apologies to the anonymous member who posted the above. In hindsight yes, my analogy was screwed. However, I don't think I ever said that I think it's better to be dead than raped. I'm sorry if it was misconstrued that way. It would never be my intention to belittle the plight of rape victims. All I have been trying to convey is my incredulity and disgust at some posters in this thread who seem to hold the opinion that Langham was only looking at images of children being raped and that they appear to think that's okay. Somewhere along the line I seem to have come out as the bad guy here, which to be honest surprises me more than a little. To be labelled as an illiterate chav etc. purely because I have voiced the opinion that any form of child abuse and its perpetrators disgust me strikes me as bizzare. It actually strikes me as a whole lot more than merely bizarre, but then perhaps I shouldn't elaborate for fear of upsetting anyone else. As for the suggestion that I think rape and abuse victims are better off dead, well, I don't think that and I didn't actually say that. I apologise again if I have offended the member concerned, it certainly wasn't my intention to do so. Like I said, I made one sh*t analogy, but hey, let's not forget that there are at least three members in this thread who seem to be justifying and excusing what Langham did. They were who I was questioning and expressing disgust at. I certainly make no apologies to them. Anyway, I made my point and I still stand by my opinions. Except the sh*t serial killer analogy, obviously. In finishing, I'd just like to stick two virtual fingers up at the posters here who think Langham's misunderstood as I leave this horrible f*****g thread forever. How you can begin to sympathise with or defend him is totally beyond me- I'd sooner be irrational than sick. BHB

This was indeed sad news, made even sadder by the realisation that this probably also means the demise of his excellent games franchise for the PS2 etc. I suppose Colin McRae's Dirt takes on an entirely different meaning now. Cheers, BHB P.S. Unless they cremate him, in which case my lame attempt at a joke has just got even lamer...

Happy belated birthday, Six, whose posts always made me smile. Cheers, BHB

I feel the same way now. I'm also beginning to hate the side of characters being slowly revealed by certain members in it, so I think this will be my last entry hereabouts. HOS' post above pretty much somes it all up. BHB