Cat O'Falk

There was barely any thought involved Just ignore him (charon that is) BTW I've had to suffer through that level of shite almost every single day I've known my mother, so.... He's obviously "not all there"....... (your brother in law that is) From ever since I could remember until my 18th birthday, my mum gave me a birthday card with a football theme on the front; she was an avid football fan and she knew I couldn't stand the game. On my 18th birthday I got up late and rushed out of the house having forgotten to look at my card. On getting back home that evening she started an argument and I opened the envelope to reveal a football themed card. I pointed out to her that she knew I hated football but every year I get a football card. The following year I got a card with a plane on the front having been a total aviation nut for at least 12 years. I don't recollect ever receiving a birthday present during all those years.

She wasn't. Edit: According to Free BMD she was born in 1948 not 1950

She wasn't. Edit: According to Free BMD she was born in 1948 not 1950

Boy Blue stood on a burning deck, playing a game of cricket, The ball rolled up his trouser leg, and he stumped his middle wicket. Judge Dread: Big Six.

I thought I remembered that, but there's no mention of him in the BBC report, although various other blokes are namechecked. I think you're confusing her with Stephanie de Sykes.

No! Honestly? Which bit?

No! Honestly?

From The Beano/Dandy circa 1970: Rose's all red Violet's all blue George's all pink And Harry is too Here you see why They look strange today Big tins of paint And me with dad's spray. It might have been in a Minnie the Minx story.

Good choice. I had one last year, though I thought it was a little dear. *gets coat* You don't get much for your buck. D'oh Everyone should try one. I'm game. Austerity forces me to buy deer testicles from under a buck at my local butcher.

And consequently buggered off.

Good choice. I had one last year, though I thought it was a little dear. *gets coat* You don't get much for your buck.

I'm guessing you're suggesting you're a DILF and open to offers...

DJ Neil Fox arrested.

I saw him on the Graham Norton Show a few months back and he didn't look at all well.

Sorry but for the 500th time we can't view the Enquirer website over here in Yoorup. We just get a blank white page with the message "service not available in your area". Could you guys please copy+paste some of the article or something next time.....? Even if you are saying it's crap..... Cache copy of The National Enquirer.

Jonathan King is not a paedophile. Fact. Bit of a grey area all round, The Daily Mail seem content to use the words "child sex abuser" in the context of his conviction for abusing teenage boys: http://www.dailymail...ry-Genesis.html There's no grey area at all, Tempus is just being weird for the sake of being weird on this particular matter..... Strictly speaking, paedophilia is a desire to have sex with prepubescent children; teenagers are rarely prepubescent. The media have hijacked the word and altered its meaning to make the stories sound even more revolting than they are. I'd call Rolf Harris a paedophile as one of his victims was aged just eight. All of King's victims were teenagers. He is a child-sex offender and scumbag though.

Half a pound of Swiss cheese is healthier than half a pound of cheddar; what with all them holes in it there ain't as much. The holes weigh nowt, the half pound is simply bigger. That much cheese is that much cheese and it'll do nowt but fuel his gout, or summat. I know; it was a joke similar to the lines of what weighs more, a tonne of coal or a tonne of feathers.

Half a pound of Swiss cheese is healthier than half a pound of cheddar; what with all them holes in it there ain't as much.

Oh the old ones are the best but they got it wrong and should have said "flagellation, necrophilia and bestiality". Not that I'm an expert on such things.

If x=y then x-y=0 and then dividing by 0 cannot be done.

Let x = y Multiply both sides by x to give x^2 = xy Subtract y^2 from both sides to give x^2-y^2 = xy- y^2 Factorize to give (x+y) (x-y) = y(x-y) Divide both sides by (x-y) to give x+y = y As x = y substitute x for y to give x+x = x Divide both sides by x to give two = one

An Egyptian Air Force Lockheed C-130 Hercules has crashed killing six of the seven people on board. Always sad to see a "herc" fall out of the sky.

Dam Busters leader Wing Commander Guy Gibson VC DSO & Bar DFC & Bar died 70 years ago today at the tender age of 26 years.

Thai woman Wanpen Inyai commits suicide by jumping into a crocodile pit.