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Victoria Beckham

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Smoking can kill (here's hoping)

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This isn't quite a first - 60s soulstress Fontella Bass (Rescue Me) was sometimes photographed with a cigar, but in Victoria's case she's probably heard that smoking can help you lose weight. So keep it up, dear ...

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Monica Lewinsky was fond of cigars too.

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Monica Lewinsky was fond of cigars too.

I hope you are not implying that Victoria has been discussing matters of state with former President Clinton...... :D

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Monica Lewinsky was fond of cigars too.

I hope you are not implying that Victoria has been discussing matters of state with former President Clinton...... :D

She's got to do something to keep busy while Dayvid is playing away from home.

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I used to like a nice cigar now and then (till forced to give up). I also like the taste of, well, you know...but I can't say the combination sounds very appetising.

 

Maybe I'm just lacking in imagination and should investgate with Mrs VileBody...

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Maybe I'm just lacking in imagination and should investgate with Mrs VileBody...

Freud is supposed to have remarked: "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar".

 

Q: "Do you smoke after sex?"

A: "I've never noticed."

 

regards,

Hein

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Is this like the two nuns in the bath?

 

"Where's the soap?"

 

"Yes, it does, doesn't it..."

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Is this like the two nuns in the bath?

 

"Where's the soap?"

 

"Yes, it does, doesn't it..."

That one took some time before I got it. :D

 

regards,

Hein

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How about the one about bedtime at the nunnery - lights out 9:00, candles out 9:30

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Is this like the two nuns in the bath?

 

"Where's the soap?"

 

"Yes, it does, doesn't it..."

That one took some time before I got it. :D

 

regards,

Hein

Worth waiting though, eh, old chap?

 

Almost as bad as the two nuns cycling down a country lane:

 

"I've never come this way before"

 

"Must be the cobble stones"

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Some quality religious jokes here along with pages of humourless analysis by chrstians... kind of missing the point. :D

 

for example.

Two nuns are in the fruit and vegetable section of a supermarket, looking for zucchini. All the zucchini are packaged on trays and covered in plastic in groups of three.

 

They go through all the trays, and one says to the other, "Well, this is useless. They all come in threes. There's only two of us."

 

The other nun shrugs her shoulders and says, "Well, I suppose we could always eat the third one."

 

is followed by

 

The fact that the joke involved nuns and courgettes enabled you to predict the punchline long before you got there. The joke therefore lost all its impact.

 

I didn’t find it offensive because I don’t really care to much want nuns do with their vegetables…

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A little boy is standing on top of a cliff, looking down at the sea and crying his eyes out. A priest approaches and says, "My child, why are you so upset?"

 

The little boy turns to him and says, "My mummy and daddy were in their car -- and it just rolled over the cliff and smashed on the rocks down there."

 

The priest slowly looks around him while unbuttoning his cassock and says, "It's just not your day, is it?"

 

 

And yes, this was nicked (and edited) from the previous link

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Down at the petrol garage this evening, whilst waiting to pay, I spy a crappy woman's mag. with VB on the cover and the splash: "Shock pictures - Victoria Beckham now only weighs 6 stone!"

 

Health risk?

 

DWB :wub:

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Anorexia? Is there any truth in these Mag's stories, or is this just more sensationalism? I.E. Can't think of a headline, so we'll make one up.

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Down at the petrol garage this evening, whilst waiting to pay, I spy a crappy woman's mag. with VB on the cover and the splash: "Shock pictures - Victoria Beckham now only weighs 6 stone!"

 

Health risk?

 

DWB :rolleyes:

She's put on weight then.

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Anorexia?  Is there any truth in these Mag's stories, or is this just more sensationalism?   I.E. Can't think of a headline, so we'll make one up.

According to this article, Victoria Beckham is listed among the celebrities with eating disorders.

 

Celebrities with eating disorders

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Oh God please send them back to the obscurity they so richly deserve.

AIUI Mr Beckham is working hard on that.

 

regards,

Hein

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Why the hell does anybody give a damn about these people,

We don't really give a damn, it's the media who need stories for their gutter press rags. Maybe if everyone ignores them............. :rolleyes:

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We don't really give a damn, it's the media who need stories for their gutter press rags. Maybe if everyone ignores them............. :D

....they'll go away? If only.

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