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Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. "Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87." "That's nothing," says Sean. "Here's one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died." Then Seamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145!" "What was his name?" asks Paddy. Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."

If the right people want him dead he´ll die. When enough people with enough determination want him dead, they´ll find the right people. I think his release has reduced his chance of survival to 2014. regards, Hein

Oh bollocks...

Maybe his wife rigged the car and this will be like a long running thing as she wants to get her hands on his money. But he will keep escaping in a comical fashion . Next he will fall down the stairs . wasn't that a plot in Diagnosis Murder?

Scientists say that they have developed a pill that will cure dyslexia. That will certainly be music to my arse!

He'll live beyond eternity if it were Osbourne and co...

Q)Whats big and white and sits at the bottom of your bed taking the piss out of you? A)A kidney dialasis machine.