Dr Hackenslash

I've been to a fair few through work. Perhaps the best was Roy Jenkins - where I saw Jeremy Thorpe (as I mentioned in another thread). I expect to be at Maggies, as and when.

To be fair, the crowd wasn't far off capacity - as you will know, there is a lot of building work at Raydale Park to ensure compliance for the SPL (ie 6,000 seats). True, those three might be stuffing Gretna - but they'd still finish top-half of the SPL. And the Cup Final showed just what can happen - don't forget, if Gretna do reach the SPL, a lot of players will be brought (or is that bought) in

Mileson was spotted at the Hartlepool match for the last 15 minutes last Saturday (days after leaving hospital). Gretna will make the SPL. But will Brooks?

Oaten was mainly scat, and I'm not too sure whether he was top or bottom. Incidentally, he is standing down at the next election so could he get bored in retirement and top himself?

But clean Charlie K wouldn't be anywhere near as good. And he could end-up with that annoying recovering-alcholic "holier than thou" attitude. Mark Oaten would be a better leader...

It is logical, but perhaps he is still living in an alchol-induced dream world where he thinks he should still be in the job... He'll finally snap and top himself soon enough. I hope....

Jimmy Savile was once told to go **** himself. He said: "Now then, now then, I'd have to be dead first..."

He is now a road agent/talent scout for the WWE

Just to check, at what stage is someone technically dead? Because surely there comes a time when Aerial Sharon is considered dead? The chances of him coming out of his coma are probably less that 100,000/1...

According to the article Fluff was the chap on the right. Strange, I know, but it does make sense, just about

From the Manchester Evening News: SIR Jimmy Savile said he was looking forward to presenting the last ever edition of Top Of The Pops. He said: "I did the first on January 1, 1964 and I'll do the last in 2006. "The golden egg we laid in `64 is now a world phenomenon." Advertisement your story continues below Sir Jimmy made his comments at Leeds University where he presented £60,000 of his own money to provide scholarships for five medical students in his home city. "I think it's 60,000 quid of mine well spent," he added. *** To be honest, I'm rather shocked. This now means that if anything about Sir Jimmy comes out after his demise, heaven forbid, the BBC will have problems showing both the first and last editions of TOTP. Oh well, on their heads be it...

Isn't the Sunday Mail a Scottish paper published by Trinity Mirror?

There is a two-page spread on Brisworth House in the Mail on Sunday today. The normal faces were pictured - including Dicky O, who looks rather well. However, Charlie Drake wasn't there as he has been poorly recently and was not at the Brinsworth House "bar" (I kid ye not) because he was "feeling unwell". Picture were: Dicky O Penny Forsyth Monty Morris Lila Prentice (98 but looking good). Reg Brigden Alan Freeman (in a wheelchair, had jaw surgery, looks rough and is 79.)

To be fair, the picture is pretty much what is now my avatar. Why the fuss? She's dead! YES! Every time I am down, I remember that

Nice impersonation of iain Hacky, but you really need to post it in the Near Misses thread as well, just to be thorough. Sorry....I really should take more notice...sorry...

Oddly enough, and I'm getting worried.... Red Buttons has just died. I have recorded it in the Red Buttons thread.

Now the BBC Version http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/5178496.stm Comedian Red Buttons dies at 87 The American comedian and actor Red Buttons has died at the age of 87. He died of vascular disease at his home in the Century City area of Los Angeles, according to his publicist. Famed for his red hair, his career began in the 1930s on stage before he landed his own television programme, The Red Buttons Show, in 1952. A move into cinema brought him a 1957 Oscar win for best supporting actor as Sgt Joe Kelly in the film Sayonara, starring Marlon Brando. His publicist Warren Cowan said he had been ill for some time, and was with family members when he died. In his teens, Red Buttons was spotted by burlesque theatre owners, becoming the youngest comic on the circuit. His role in Sayonara led to other film roles including The Longest Day, They Shoot Horses, Don't They? and The Poseidon Adventure.

STOP PRESS From news.bbc.co.uk Red Buttons, the US comedian who won an Oscar in 1957, dies aged 87. More soon. VERY ODD http://www.voanews.com/english/2006-07-13-voa65.cfm American comedian and Academy award-winning actor Red Buttons has died. His publicist said the 87-year-old died of vascular disease at home in Los Angeles. The flame-haired comic began his career on the vaudeville stages of New York. His Red Buttons Show made him a star in the early days of television, and he continued to appear in film and on television as recently as last year. Known for his quick wit, he also tackled serious roles. Buttons received an Oscar as Best Supporting Actor in 1957 for his portrayal of a soldier in the movie Sayonara.

Although I might despise his "politics" with a passion, I wouldn't wish him any harm and he'll be around for a while yet. I only met him once, and he was a fairly cheerful, happy chap. I admit I thought "Thank **** he never became PM," but he was a dear old chap all the less. So - bye, bye Iain.

Sorry, I was in a bit of a funny mood last night. I do believe what I put, but I really should have expressed my viewpoint in a far more eloquent manner. Sorry again, Dr H.

Interesting to compare it to the Spanish Civil War. Would I be the only one who would join an "International Brigade" and fight for Palestine?

What I find most disturbing about this is that a man would claim to have shot his load after just two-and-a-half minutes of thrusting into a big-nosed, perxoide-headed, thick-as-s**t dog. I mean, two-and-a-half minutes? Why not say five hours - she's dead and can't do anything about it. There's a thought, she's dead and can't do anything about it. Where's my shovel. I'm off to Althorp to dig the old bitch up, leave her on Sir Jimmy Savile's doorstep and run. Hope his hands will still be steady enough to take the stitches out...

No, if you really want to get some ranters, think closer to home... Isn't it great when dead people get songs sung about them at football matches. Last time I was at Ibrox, I thoroughly enjoyed: Could ye go a chicken supper Bobby Sands? Could ye go a chicken supper Bobby Sands Could ye go a chicken supper Bobby Sands Could ye go a chicken supper ya dirty fenian f****r Could ye go a chicken supper Bobby Sands Could ye go a can of coke Bobby Sands Could ye go a can of coke Bobby sands Could ye go a can a coke ah hope ye f****n' choke Could ye go a can of coke Bobby Sands To me, that speaks volumes more than Candle in the Wind, either version, and perhaps some of us will one day have a song sung about us by 40,000 people at a time.

Dr Hack, are you Norman Scott by any chance? I can't be. There have never been an ounce of Liberal in me!

Women who will only give a blowjob if you wear a condom...