Dr Hackenslash

Don't mention dog turd around Mark Oaten. His trousers are tight enough as it is, he'll be tenting a rip in the cloth if he hears phrases like that. But I agree with you, the people who got rid of Kennedy deserve a slap - and I hear they pay for it.

I was a necrophilliac once. Then some crusty c**t split on me. The bastard.

Or is that exploding Charles Kennedy orifices here, computer worship here? Now that makes a good image...!

For the love of God, will someone just shoot this fool already? Careful - Jacko's just issued a writ for defamation after someone accused him of being a Lib Dem. He said it's one thing to be called a kiddy-fiddler, but quite another...

And may I remind you of the "Joke" thread...

Couldn't agree more. I've a problem with the system that allows it to happen, not what actually happens - if that makes sense. The guys and girls at Westminster should be working to sort this out - it's always going to be human nature to take advantage of a situation, eg with benefits. And what do our MPs do? Well, in Mr Oaten's case, pay rent boys to S**t on him. Of course, the MPs have never been in the sitation where they may take advantage of the welfare state and it is hard for them to get inside the mind of someone who would. The Government have to ensure that benefits are seen as a right, not a privilege, otherwise generations will get stuck in a spiral of despair.

My greatest fear is that would actually happen. As I've said on other threads, this country is in terminal decline for an obvious reason: Generally, stupid people have stupid children. Stupid people have more children than clever people. So there are far too many stupid people for the clever people to deal with. I heard a certain German man came up with a solution to the problem once...

Were you at the inquest then, or were you the one to try and revive someone by fiddling with their arse? I'm going to try that excuse next time the police catch me balls up to a corpse in the local morgue.

It might be highly inappropriate, but here goes. "Q. What do Charles Kennedy and Mark Oaten have in common? A. They both liked to spend their evenings getting S**t-faced." But, before the lawyers get involved, Charlie K has never put hamsters up his arse, wheras Mr Oaten...

F*ck me up the arse with a baby seal. That's real, isn't it. Genius. But how the heck did they get away with it? As for mistakes/oversights: Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again. More of these here

I think my greatest headline - to date - was for a little local rag down in Kent. Story was about a chap who got pissed and beat his wife up. "Woozy boozer turns abuser" Or, even better, was a Liverpool sign at the Champs League final regarding Croatian Igor Biscan: SuperCroatIgorBiscanUsedToBeAtrocious Mary Poppins has a lot to answer for.

Don't you think the Power Rangers gave away the secret by wearing the same colour clothes when they were normal as their colours when they morphed.

True, true. It's hard to believe just how popular the Express was only 15-20 years ago. The 1992 election was a strange on, and of course, The Sun's front page was genius. I think people were concerned about Kinnock being far more left-wing than he claimed and the fear of a Lib/Lab coalition. Oh, and as for the Liberals... If anyone wants to know what Mark Oaten did that was "too vile for the News of the World to print," then all I can say is that strong rumour around the Westminster tea-rooms suggest 1) Paying to be sh*t on and 2) hamsters. Say no more.

No, no, no. I might have stood up for Sun journo's, but let me be clear - Sun readers are thick as pig sh*t. They would never be able to run the country - there's no way any of them would give up their benefits...

I don't have an ass, just a horse. Will that do? I think Jesus had an ass, you could try there. Ding, Dong! And what is the difference between an ass and a donkey. Because you never hear anybody telling you to stick it up your donkey, or that you are hung like an ass... Great language.

For those concerned about Jacobites and the suchlike, perhaps it's time to take a step back and look at those less fortunate than ourselves. I choose this chap, who should be a dead cert for the DL as he lives in a prime candidate for a lightning strike: Man lives for 15 years in tree Now, things aren't that bad, are they?

Couldn't have put it better myself. The attack was upon modern day "post-Jacobite" Jacobites, for lack of a better phrase. Re-writing history is one thing, but believing in a history that has no relation to fact is even worse. Jacobites may as well be "intelligent design" theorists - their preachings have no accuracy when compared to actual events and timelines both then and since.

Posts moved.

just in case you forgot or none of the scottish contingent saw this...there it is above in all of it's glory. What are you even doing posting here....it's pretty obvious all your interested in is getting another post in on your post quota on the DL, you've insulted a lot of people least of all Lady G who has supported you for a long time when you were paranoid about others opinions of you, nice to know you hate the Scots and we now know where we stand with you!!!! Calm down. It's one thing arguing on personal levels over the current aristocracy, let alone stuff this old. Surely it's better to express a strong opinion than piss around in the middle of the road, anyway. That doesn't get anybody anywhere.

Or even worse, release a new album. regards, Hein It would be better than most of the stuff in the charts at the moment. A bizarre duet with Eminem would be great, perhaps with Jimmy Saville in the video. "Do you wanna sit on my lap, my lap, my lap.... "I'm the paeder, I'm the paeder... Or, without lyric changes... "I'm the man who put the gang in bang." If only he knew when he wrote those words!

Ah, Unilateral Declarations of Independence. Thank god for Ian Smith for creating one for our time. And I mean the Rhodesian Ian Smith, not the chap who plays Harold Bishop on Neighbours.

And there was me thinking Superstar Billy Graham was an American wrestler in the 1970s/80s. Before Hogan ripped off his image, anyway..

Now The Sun have done it, and knowing the sheets as I do, we can expect to see a double-page spread on the deathlist in the Daily Mail very soon. Remember - you read it here first!

Can't remember exactly, but it was near the car-ferry crossing. Strange old place, dark and possible a brothel. hehe yup it sounds like the same cathouse to me There was a sign in the window, handpainted on chipboard, in the upstairs window offering women for sale.

Can't remember exactly, but it was near the car-ferry crossing. Strange old place, dark and possible a brothel.