Dr Hackenslash

Yes. I've shot my machine gun over many such a propellor.

Unless it's on a blonde and you weren't expecting it..

I love Tennents Velvet, but have yet to taste Buckie, does this make me abnormal as I am from the West of Scotland Dr.? Buckfast - it grew on me when I was in Dunoon. Mainly because it was the only thing in stock. As for the distillery at Oban - how can a place force you to drink single malt at 9.15am. Not that I was moaning, mind. But anyway, you really should try Buckfast - once you start, you won't stop!

Poor old Gerald. He's more of a rusty Fiesta than a Cosworth now, isn't he.

Give me a pint of Tennent's Velvet or a Buckfast any day. When Fred West met St Peter and was told he would be going to Hell, he was offered a final request. He replied "I could murder some Tennents..."

Simpson's, aye.

Thank you all very much, it's been great. Keep 'em coming. Doc Hack. Any ideas for a new avatar would be appreciated.

Yon sassenach has a coupon like a tumshie. A turkish delight toaty tumshie. Henerine? Hoaching hingins

The view among my "contacts" is that the rock story was a British plant to cover-up another, more shocking espionage programme that we are working on in Russia. As for spies - David Shayler for a living one. Christopher Marlowe was thought to be a spy, too.

If Sid Little was to pop off soon it would be an interesting example of the thin going before the fat. Because, as far as diet-gurus tell us, Eddie Large should die first, Ball should go before cannon, and Pavarotti should go before the other two tenors. It normally happens - look at Morcambe and Wise - Morcambe went years before. And Arthur Lowe went before John Le Mesurier - who would have thought it!

Yes indeed, the worst. No, that award must go to the Guardian. There's nothing worse than champagne-socialists who think they are clever.

Quality!!! Wow, I can't believe he died. He was looking absolutely great in 1990! It's what everybody always says when they hear someone has died "oh, but he looked fine when I last saw him." Nice avatar, btw.

No, it's a bit cold today. I wouldn't be doing myself justice. In fact, if it gets much colder, I'll be altering the theory of relativity. Because I'll have negative length...

No, the big issue is that when Tony Blair steps down we're going to have a Prime Minister - Gordon Brown - who has only got one eye!! How can a man run a country when he has no depth perception? We're all doomed.

But doesn't that pose sum up the soon-to-be coalition between the Canadian Conservatives and their Government partners?!?

The only correct answer to that question is, Too many. Doctor Who is to SciFi what The Sun is to informed opinion. Actually, your avatar made me think about how similar The Doctor is to the Pope. 1) They often regenerate 2) People either love them or hate them 3) They always surround themselves with attractive, women but aren't allowed to sleep with them. 4) The Pope is chosen by cardinals, Doc Who is chosen by BBC executives - who commit cardinal sins. 5) They are alwys compared to their predecessors 5) Lots of people think this one should be the last one!

No you wouldn't, you'd keep silent and hope that everybody thought it was true. You seem to know me too well. Very tasty, is young Miss Piper - but sadly too young for me. How many Dr Who's are still alive? Colin Baker, Tom Baker, Chris Ecclestone, Dave Tennant, Peter Davidson, Syvester McCoy, Paul McGann (if you count him). Thinks that's it.

True, I suppose. The main problems with issuing libel actions is that everything about your private life is made public. For example, if The Sun ran a story saying I was cheating on my missus with, say, Billie Piper, I would issue a writ. But The Sun would claim they have not slurred my character because I have cheated on the missus many times before, and people know about it. So The Sun would win. Ms Piper might not be too happy, though, and she'd have a good chance of winning her own action, if she took it.

I broadly agree with that. It was obviously mentioned to him at some stage, perhaps even during the interview, about the existence of DL and his position in it.

Not true. COMMISSION MEMBERS Sir Christopher Meyer, KCMG Chairman Matti Alderson Member of the Better Regulation task Force 1998- Director General of the Advertising Standards Authority 1990 - 2000 Roger Alton Editor, The Observer Professor The Lord Chan Visiting Professor in Ethnic Health, University of Liverpool Former member, Commission for Racial Equality Edmund Curran Editor-in-chief, Independent News and Media NI Paul Dacre Editor-in-Chief, Daily Mail Jane Ennis Editor, NOW Magazine Mary Francis CBE Director General of the Association of British Insurers 1999-2005 Vivien Hepworth Former Chairman of Surrey and Sussex Healthcare NHS Trust Peter Hill Editor, Daily Express Paul Horrocks Editor, Manchester Evening News Adam Phillips Chairman, ESOMAR Professional Standards Committee Eve Salomon Solicitor Former Director of Legal Services, Radio Authority Dianne Thompson CBE Chief Executive, Camelot Group plc Derek Tucker Editor, Aberdeen Press & Journal The Rt Rev John Waine KCVO Chairman of the University of Essex Foundation Bishop of Chelmsford, 1986 - 96 Clerk of the Closet to The Queen 1989-1996 Rear Admiral Nick Wilkinson CB Secretary of the Defence, Press and Broadcasting Advisory Committee 1999-2004 Principal of the Joint Service Defence College at Greenwich 1994-1997

True, I'll give you that one. So I assume the matter was taken up with the Press Complaints Commission, free of charge.

Was there any legal action taken? I doubt it.

Does The Sun actually employ writers Fiction writers I suppose, as it certainly contains no journalism. I'm sorry to have to do this, but I'm not putting up with the contunued slagging-off of Sun journalists. I have never worked for them myself, although I have spent several years with the Mirror Group, but I have to say that the Sun's writers are among the most talented journos in the world. It isn't easy for intelligent people to write stories in a way that the, erm, less educated will understand. Look at the people who work at the Sun - why do you think they have people from all around the world there? Working for the Sun is considered to be the highest level a print journalist can reach - and all they get is the same pseudo-intellectual bollocks for Guardian-reading tw*ts to praise them for it. Thanks for the ranting space.

I think you'll find mpfc was referring to this show. Grandad, fair enough. Thinking about it...an man pretending to be a grandad figure when he is actually younger. Then that man disappears abroad for years and is hardly ever heard from. Perhaps Dunny should re-realease Grandad as a duet with Gary Glitter.

The silver medalist - can't remember the spelling of the name but it's something like Murola Murtola. I wouldn't fancy having anything to do with those thighs...