TQR

30p Leeanderthal forgot to log into his sock account

The Sun? Bullshit?? Well get away!

He knows why you’re about to roll up that note and he doesn’t approve.

Oh look. Rishi ‘Two Grand’ Sunak was flat out lying about these ‘independent civil servants’ costings of Labour’s plans. This letter and all the fact-checkers are out in force today. Now I know why Starmer only defended the claim once: he knew that this is more effective than dignifying Sunak’s lies with an answer every time.

What’s Ed Davey doing today? Photobombing speed cameras, as it turns out:

Roar is nearly as bad as Firework, and Firework is nearly as bad as making a mini shish kebab out of your eardrums.

Fucking hell, we've voted quite similarly. it's a good job I was sitting down! Came to that conclusion with Boney M. It's a bop. I'd personally swap it for the ABBA song I'm not a fan of, but that'd be pissing in the wind given the support that song gets.

Imelda Staunton?

Wed 5 Jun 47 John Newman — Love Me Again 44 Gotye ft. Kimbra — Somebody That I Used To Know 42 Lily Allen — Somewhere Only We Know 37 Lorde — Royals 37 Carly Rae Jepsen — Call Me Maybe 37 Florence & The Machine — Spectrum 35 Duke Dumont ft. A*M*E — Need U (100 Percent) +4 35 Coldplay — Paradise 35 Olly Murs ft. Flo Rida — Troublemaker 34 Daft Punk ft. Pharrell Williams — Get Lucky 33 Miley Cyrus — Wrecking Ball 30 Little Mix — Wings 28 David Guetta ft. Sia — Titanium 28 Avicii — Wake Me Up 27 Swedish House Mafia ft. John Martin — Don’t You Worry Child  27 Maroon 5 ft. Wiz Khalifa — Payphone 26 Jessie J — Domino 24 Rihanna — Diamonds 23 Fun ft. Janelle Monae — We Are Young 23 OneRepublic — Counting Stars 22 Avicii Vs. Nicky Romero — I Could Be The One 21 DJ Fresh ft. Rita Ora — Hot Right Now 21 Naughty Boy ft. Sam Smith — La La La 21 Will.I.Am ft. Eva Simons — This Is Love 20 Cover Drive — Twilight 20 Rudimental ft. John Newman — Feel The Love 20 Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch — Sweet Nothing 20 Gabrielle Aplin — The Power Of Love 20 Macklemore ft. Ryan Lewis & Wankz — Thrift Shop 20 The Saturdays ft. Sean Paul — What About Us 20 Rudimental ft. Ella Eyre — Waiting All Night 20 Ellie Goulding — Burn 20 Storm Queen — Look Right Through 20 Calvin Harris ft. Alesso & Hurts — Under Control 19 Katy Perry — Part Of Me 19 Ne-Yo — Let Me Love You 17 Rita Ora ft. Tinie Tempah — R.I.P. 17 Icona Pop ft. Charli XCX — I Love It 16 Labrinth ft. Emeli Sande — Beneath Your Beautiful -6 13 Justin Timberlake — Mirrors 12 Wiley ft. Ms D — Heatwave 10 Katy Perry — Roar

Wed 5 Jun 53 David Bowie - Sound and Vision 42 ABBA - Money, Money, Money 30 David Dundas - Jeans On 29 Bee Gees - How Deep Is Your Love +4 29 The Four Seasons — Silver Star 26 Manuel and the Music of the Mountains - Rodrigo’s Guitar Concerto de Aranjuez 13 Mike Oldfield - Portsmouth 11 Boney M - Sunny 9 Status Quo - Rockin' All Over the World -6

51/49 yeah?

Times Laughed At By Audience (exc. jokes) Sunak - 4 Starmer - 0

Sunak is tetchy, rude and dishonest. Starmer is meandering and frustratingly calm. He's coming good now, but it's a slow burner.

Just waiting for Ed Davey to crash through the studio on a go kart and mow both the leaders down.

Julie Etchingham is doing a very poor job so far.

12 minutes in and Rishi Sunak has said the word 'plan' 65 times.

Agreed. Reform will get 1 if they're lucky, Green will stay on just the 1 if they're unlucky. Of all these polls so far, it averages out that the Tories will probably be at around 100-110. But it's alright, because Sunak is about to save the day for them on ITV right now.

And a new best friend in the form of a stone fruit.

2024 General Election Wet Clothing Tally Ed Davey: 2 Rishi Sunak: 1 Nigel Farage: 1 Keir Starmer: 0 Carla Denyer: 0 John Swinney: 0 Rhun ap Iorwerth: 0

Bloody thing won't embed but this is another 5s highlight of Führage's campaign day: https://twitter.com/implausibleblog/status/1797990140482335205

What's gonna happen to all the Tory seats, Ed?

Even Tice can't help but smile

Cometh the hour, cometh the man all over Führage.

Oh dear.