Madame Defarge

Ariel Sharon: Unplugged

My goodness. Or, as Captain of Industry once said er..er..er.. *cough*Christopher Hitchens*cough*

I'm in too. But that page does make me feel like I've done something wrong and am being yelled at by a mad German.

The clogs of Dim Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu, the Ikemba of Nnewi remain unpopped despite rumours to the contrary.

Any cast or crew member of the Broadway production of' Spiderman, Turn Off The Dark.' It makes the Scottish play seem like a good luck charm by comparison. Edited because I originally typed 'the Danish play'. I was hungry.

Three of those, Sutcliffe, Huntley and Brady are locked up in institutions for the criminally insane etc, etc. Point of order. I'm pretty sure that Ian Huntley is still in a mainstream prison and has never spent time in a psychiatric institution. Also, don't forget that Ian Brady was fit to plea at his trial and didn't enter psychiatric care until he'd been behind bars for nearly twenty years. Aye, right DDT, Huntley was in Rampton before he was judged fit to stand trial and since sentencing has served his time in jail ( with the odd spell in hospital). That seemed a reasonable decision to me. I suppose I was trying to make the point, though probably not very well, that it is very hard to determine the extent to which people are bonkers or not. The bonkers defence saved Rudolph Hess from the rope and I still don't think anyone really knows just how deranged he was. I don't believe in the biblical eye for an eye but the question I was raising is whether the death penalty is right for someone who is "not all there". But a kind of reverse Catch 22 argument is that you have to be wrong in the head to murder someone. There are also degrees of bonkersness in the judicial system. One does not need to be totally off one's rocker to pursue a claim for diminished responsibility. Another argument against the death penalty is the question of whether it is good for society as a whole. Evidence has been presented in the past recording rises in violent crime around the time of executions. It also seems pretty clear that many murderers are products of deprived or violent families and sometimes the origins of this violence were what we might call "state sponsored". Mira Hindley's father was an ex-para in the Second World War when his propensity for violence against the enemy would have been regarded as commendable. But when he applied this violence to the upbringing of his daughter it created a woman not only anaesthetised to suffering but probably also taking pleasure from exercising power and seeing others suffer. Meeting brutality with brutality is not the way to create a civilised society. Recently there was an horrific case where a mother decided her child would be better off dead than alive without her, and forced her autistic 12 year old son to drink bleach. I read a lot of comments in the press excusing the mother because she was unstable, and because of the difficulties in raising a non-verbal child. One can only imagine how the boy must have suffered before he died. Whether it was madness, despair, or any combination of both on the mother's part, I have to admit that this is where the eye-for-an eye stuff starts sounding good to me. However I am opposed to the death penalty for all of the reasons Godot and the others mentioned and also because her death would not bring the child back. It was fundamentally wrong for this woman to play god with her child's life, and in my opinion it would be just as wrong for the state to take this same responsibility regarding the mother's life upon itself, for whatever reason.

No, you're not alone. No, it sounds fishy to me too. I suspect he may have been a fall guy, and one of the reasons why the compassionate release was achieved so quickly was because some people in high places in several governments knew he wasn't the one. It's likely we'll never find out, though.

I see. And how has this sudden notoriety affected your health? How are you feeling? As it goes, today I feel like shite. I have a stinking cold, massive headache, and did not get to sleep till about 5 this morning, awake again at 6 (the only upside to that being that I managed to watch 5 episodes of Casualty off my Sky Box during the night, thus creating space for more weekend reality crap for Little Lard). My lips are dry and cracked (ooooer), I'm cold and fed up with not being able to go out without fear of falling over and breaking limbs due to already having a gammy leg. As to my death prospects, I'm planning on washing down some Beacham's with a large bottle of cheap white wine later, followed by a kebab - I'd say I'm a good bet. I'm sorry you're feeling like such crap, Lard! Yet I don't feel you are close enough to death to be on my DDP. Oh, what the hell, who am I kidding? No one on it ever dies anyway!

I see. And how has this sudden notoriety affected your health? How are you feeling?

After reading lastorders post, I had a look at who I share a birthday with Does anybody remember the tv show Blossom ?. I share a birthday with Jenna Von Oy who played Blossoms mate Six. We were both born on 2nd May 1977 Other people include former WWE wrestlers The Rock and The Big Boss Man, loads of football players including Chris Kirkland, David Nugent, Zat Knight and Horacio Carbonari, Donatella Versace, actor David Suchet who played Poirot, gardener Alan Titchmarsh, snooker players Jimmy White and Steve James, cricketer Brian Lara and Mick Jaggers ex Bianca Jagger My turn! I was born on the same day as Nick "I've Had Jessica Simpson" Lachey - November 9, 1973. Although he does look annoyingly younger than me. Other famous November 9th birthdays include Delta Goodrem, the wrestler Chris Jericho, Bryn Terfel, Pepa off of Salt n Pepa, Jill Dando, Tony Slattery, Lou "The Hulk" Ferrigno and King Edward VII. Oh, and Spiro Agnew. And lots of people on Wikipedia that I haven't heard of. I share the same bday as John Glenn, and he seems a nice enough bloke. Also , Hunter S. Thompson, Vin Diesel, Red Skelton (cool, huh? I loved him!) and George 'Machine Gun Kelly'. However I only know of one person with whom I share the exact year month and day, and he's an unbearably artsy fartsy pompous twat and a non celeb. 'Oh giiirrrlll, I cant' believe we share a birthday. ' Feh.

What are you doing, Rear Admiraaaaaaaaaaaowwwww!

That gives me an idea of what to do to the nauseating Cliff Richard !!!! They may even wear the same dress size, although this one is probably pretty smelly by now.

I would eagerly help a meat-clad Lady Gaga dive into an aquarium filled with hungry piranhas. (Seriously)

This is my favorite and most goose-bump inducing T-Rex song of all time.

At this point, I think we may just as well throw in the towel and rename the thread ' The Dick Cheney Altzheimer's Awareness Thread' or summat.

Great idea. Would love to get him. A comic sans noone? There are laws in this town, mister.

This chap probably doesn't share your highly-charged opinion. I remember hearing a story many years ago of the Herman's Hermits singer arriving in the USA and being paged at the airport... "Mr No-one, pick up the white courtesy phone, Mr No-one pick up the white courtesy phone..." Oh. That explains it, I thought it was this chap. (No one picked up the white courtesy phone because Mr. Noone did not arrive on the noone flight. Unfortunately, since phones and airplanes did not exist in Medieval England, his arrival was delayed by several centuries.)

Urgent message to all www users: Noone was there, noone has seen him, noone is home, noone is better, noone is ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG One more time and I'll split those o's with an AXE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's no one. . No one. No one. No one!!!!! Got it?? Good. Thank you. That will be all.

Cheddar man will be your listener! Well, maybe not, but at least he won't be trying to get the last word.

Cheddar Man , who died a violent and mysterious death around 7150 BC in Somerset. I am counting on you all to make him feel at home despite his lack of etiquette and proper attire. Perhaps one of you gents could bring along a spare tie. I'll just put a sheet under the table in case things get messy.

lalalalalalalala

I went into my Gmail account and went into the Help Forum. A question was posed about the error message. After you clear off the 10,000 emails you have to click on the Trash link and select Empty Trash. Edit: I couldn't even find the f*cking trash button at first . It's on the left hand side of the screen under 'Compose Mail'. Did you do it? Did it work? I distinctly remember when I opened my account, that there was supposed to be unlimited space and that you would never need to delete anything. Liars.

On a white charger, he came. Cutting through swathes of mediocrity, beheading the boring, disembowling the inane. Nobody knew who this man was, nobody dared guess. Some believed that he was the returning Messiah of the DL forum, a man who once was here but went away. Welcome back oh great one!! Welcome back insanity! Welcome back bollocks! Welcome back, oh great disciple of Stanley Unwin. Welcome back BS! Its been so fucking boring without you. Swath cutting and disembowling really aren't my thing, but for heaven's sake man, if you need a beheading done just PM me!

Nice. And the mug, with a complimentary t-shirt for those who had him on more than one deadpool:

The US is now saying that Megrahi isn't even dying. So thats a bit of a bugger for us. He was my joker. As a cautionary measure, or just for the fun of it, I propose that we invent some sort of codeword that we could invoke whenever a Megrahi or Zsa-Zsa -like situation pops in the news. (For example, the fuss in December of 2006 when Omar the Blind Sheik's liver was about to explode and then nothing happened....) I don't mean when a person has been old or sick for a long time; I mean where there is an international media storm over someone's almost certain demise. I was thinking of something along the lines of "Abdelbaset Alert", code Orange, but perhaps the wordsmiths here could come up with something better. Or there could be a law or principle, like Murphy's and Peter's. Like, the amount of hype given to the c'lebs condition is directly proportionate to the amount of time he will linger on.... and on.