maryportfuncity

Question one: Better, more interesting, more active and therefore the 'retention rate' of decent posters is good. This is a healthy site. Question two: On the evidence of the drive by trade we've seen they're stuck in the past, given to ranting about the desperate state of more recent comedy that's found a large audience and also under the wrongful impression that those of us heaping abuse on their man must - by definition - be degenerates and/or lacking mental agility. Trace a few of the spats and you see them re-stating the same information whilst we throw more facts into the mix.

Yeah, but a car load of Richard O' Sullivan fans juggling names to make themselves look like a mini bus full can easily be wrong.

So finally the anti-gun lobby in the US can remove the rifle from his 'Cold dead hand.'

More people supported the Nazis in WW2, were they right as well?

This is probably a good time to remind the world that his last and largely neglected studio album is called......INVINCIBLE.

Boris, that's the best laugh I've had on this forum for weeks. You spell it......NONSENSE. Your attempt - however - speaks volumes about Dickie O fans.

All of you Dickie O fans are drive by posters who never bother to register. As we discovered the last time we had a lengthy spat on this thread a lot of you seem to be posting from the same address and using different names. I think there's some real comedy in that fact.

Me I'm getting some new running shoes, a few splinters from the true cross and a fistful of CDs the neighbours are likely to hate.....incidentally the neighbours are a long way off but I've got a stereo that'd double as a weapon of mass destruction. Oh yeah and I might've lied about the splinters!

Having read her Wikipedia entry I say get her off the DL. Her husband fell off a horse and - eventually - died, her mum died of cancer and she's contracted lung cancer after not even smoking. Oh yeah, and her film career is nothing to shout about. She's obviously a bloody jinx. We hang around with her at our peril.

One is a self-regarding throwback pursuing a job that long since ceased to matter or produce anything of value to anyone else, the other is a Scottish sheep farmer.

Thanks for that, it's answered something that was going round in my head for months. Last summer I was on holiday and saw this woman on a beach. I thought I recognised her but was struggling with the name. Weird though, she had tyre marks on her belly.

Has anyone else noticed the way this thread attracts drive by ranters who turn in a performance that thinks itself spectacular but ultimately proves shallow and leave without us really remembering much about them. Strange really, how Dickie O's fans so resemble their man.

Assuming A: He makes next year B: He's still on the list How about we label him 'Messiah for the mentally challenged' I mean, it's not controversial or anything, I'm sure none of those blissed out TM'ers would think of posting irate responses.

C'mon guys, Christmas has clearly come early for the DL'ters. One in the bank for 2006 I reckon: LOU RAWLS BATTLING CANCER Singer LOU RAWLS has been battling lung cancer for a year, and brain cancer since May, the singer's manager (and estranged wife) Nina said yesterday. "By his doctor's admission, he is not expected to live much more," she said during a marriage annulment hearing in Arizona. (Rawls is currently trying to annul their two-year marriage.) "Don't count me out, brother," Rawls said from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in an interview with the Arizona Republic. "There's been many people who have been diagnosed with this kind of thing, and they're still jumpin' and pumpin'." The seventy-year-old singer, whose hits include "You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine" and "Love Is a Hurtin' Thing," has won three Grammys and sold 40 million albums.

I'd say he'll survive 2006, albeit with a low profile. He's been clean living most of his life - despite taking a shitload of punches to the head and body - and his cardiovascular system will keep the motor running long after the motor functions have gone to hell. 2007, late on, at the earliest I reckon.

Is Brooke Astor barred if she makes it to 2006? If not, get the 103 year old down. I've bet and lost money on her sorry ass and now it's kinda personal.

Oh aye, and the police have admitted George Best's funeral in Belfast was a sham. However, they now realise the private cremation in Hemel Hempstead was a massive mistake.

The police are digging up Fred West's patio and they find a human arm. A copper heads off to West in his cell and says: 'We've found an arm Fred, how many did you bury under the patio?' 'Oh, a couple,' says Fred. A couple of days later the same copper faces Fred. 'You said there were two bodies, we found five.' says the copper. 'So,' says Fred, 'I'm a builder, it was an estimate.'

Richard Pryor grew up in a knocking shop - that's a brothel to anyone outside northern England - and had a fairly active sex life at the height of his fame. I'd be willing to guess he found a way until he was physically unable and may have been in action almost to the very end of his life. I have no particular inside knowledge here I'm just guessing because - basically - he was Richard Pryor.

Now there's an interesting question. He's well old but he's in that business where young and starry eyed people become besotted with him. Maybe he just lies back at 93 and they do all the work.

Aye well, there's life in the this little thread anyway. Thinking long and hard (arf arf) I reckon Karzai, Maradonna and - probably - Richard Pryor arranging something by way of a thrill as definites. Kronkite as a reasonable outside bet and most of the others living on memories.

If it gets him out of the UK for good I say put the man in charge of Albania. Aren't we - technically speaking - still in a state of hostilities with them over their sinking of a British battleship in 1946?

Didn't he take over presenting The Golden Shot after Bob Monkhouse moved on?

A man walks into a sex shop and asks to buy a blow up woman. 'No bother chief,' says the assistant, 'We do christian blow up women at 45 pounds or Halibuts at 70 quid.' 'Why the difference in price?' asks the punter. 'Oh,' says the assistant, 'the Halibut ones are brilliant, they blow themselves up.'

Lady Die, your cheesy avatar pictures have been a constant source of delight to me this year. A comforting reminder that it isn't only the aged and infirm that should concern us.