maryportfuncity

For the definitive text on how a bunch of 'morons' built the most powerful nation on the planet see Mel Brookes' movie Blazing Saddles. A couple of great scenes: 1 - The black sheriff wanders out into town only to be told 'up yours N-word' by a kindly old lady. Later he is consoled with the thought that the townspeople are 'the common clay of the new west....you know, morons!' 2 - The Sioux nation ambush a wagon train and spare the one black family on the grounds they are darker than American Indians. As they do this the Sioux - led by the blatantly Jewish Brookes himself - speak a German/Jewish dialect. It's actually the least sidesplitting gag of the whole movie but does make a point about the kind of hypocrisy discussed in the post above.

Wikipedia Is handy on the career of Tim Brooke Taylor. He keeps busier than after dinner speaking and given his background I'd venture he's invested well and doesn't need to work that hard these days.

Alive, well and playing a recurring role at Trekkie conventions these days. Discussed hereabouts on our Crew of the USS Enterprise thread.

Alternatively Purpletrumpet: Divert your considerable energies into setting up a tribute site to Mrs Tomlinson, get a professional in to optimise the hits and obliterate DL's current status as Google's top hit in this area. That'd be a win win all round!

Anyone up the current state of Kirk Stevens - golden boy turned coke sniffing has-been - of a couple of decades ago.

Indeed, also a friend of George Best and - amazingly - one female acquaintance he hasn't shagged.

If she's the same Rose Marie that treads the boards as a lighweight country singer she's aged amazingly well!

That was the point I was making Lady Die. Maybe I'd better lose the subtle touch. MOST OF THEM AREN'T OUT ANYMORE COS THEY WERE SHITE ALL ALONG!!!!

If you post and rant they'll probably throw you out. Better to gently tease out some covert racism or worse, then point out you've taken them for mugs insult the lot of them and leave. That'll probably get everyone jumpy about how many other posters are really impostors. Just an idea, like.

I think we're covering old ground discovering Paisley's fetid little corner of the world wide web. You couldn't make the man up. If there is a God what he'll make of the Reverend Ian would be interesting to know. I think I mentioned once before, Dave Allen used to do a joke about a church hopper trying to visit a church of every denomination in the UK. He got to Northern Ireland where Paisley threw him out of his church. The bloke was on his knees that night praying to God to be allowed in the church to complete all the denominations. In a flash God appeared to him and said: 'Forget it, I can't even get myself in that one!'

Now that is an idea Windsor, I'd sooner see my cat get a state funeral than Thatcher. Maybe a bunch of ex Yorkshire miners could organise a send off for Lady T.

He can't be seventy yet. What's up with him?

I think that was a few years back.....the year Freddie Mercury won!

A couple of things: It's remarkable how much of his movie work has dated so badly that DVD's performances are still unavailable on the DVD format. When he does go we should celebrate his ridiculous performance in Mary Poppins by holding a good old cockney knees up.

There was an article in the Mail on Sunday last weekend about our four survivors. I found myself wondering what they'd make of a flyer I saw recently. Near Chelmsford in Essex there is a WW1 Paintball place that models the paintball fighting on the worst that some of these guys went through. I reckon they'd find that too bizarre to comment on.

How anyone with a functioning brain can drop in here and state with certainty that anyone will live a long time is beyond me. There's enough evidence of sudden misfortune and danger to remind a rational person that we're all in The Grim Reaper's lottery.

Not in the case of my clean lungs it doesn't. I'm just interested in death, dying and graphic descriptions of both.....oh yeah and grimly funny observations on these subjects.

Yer Fools if You Think It's Over!

All of which puts the Cumbrian village of Bothel in the shade. The sign has - on occasion - been modified with with an 'r' slipped in after the B. It's quiet, sleepy and the most exciting thing that ever happened was the burning down of a restaurant - widely rumoured to be an insurance job - over twenty years ago.

Then again, he missed a trick when he didn't enter slimmer of the year.

Just read the very convincing link and I still think Elvis is dead.

He'd faked such things before, he was nuts basically. But, gloriously nuts.

Andy Kaufman: Comedian with decidedly oddball act. Best known for his role in eighties comedy 'Taxi' portrayed by Jim Carey in 'Man On The Moon' and - therefore - the subject of the song of the same name by REM. If any celebs faked their own deaths it's none of the above. I reckon you'd get much shorter odds on Tupac - who might rightfully have considered his life to be in danger - and/or Richie Edwards of the Manic Street Preachers who was the musical lightweight of a band and an increasing irrelevance on their records. Also prone to self centered gestures to prove his committment to his art.

Elvis Ho Hum: Now there's a great new name for my band.

Claire Short is John Prescott in drag!