maryportfuncity

He'd steal every scene in Last of the Summer Wine as some retired army type.

It's not like his work rate is keeping the world's news media too busy. Rumoured to be having some problems with his memory. Other than standing and clasping his hands his physical prowess isn't widely evident. What d'ya reckon in terms of life expectancy anyone?

Maryportfuncity throws up a couple of posts on another site and then this site time after time. Beats me but the words Maryport + fun don't seem to appear together too often.

Janeo: Silicone does indeed kill but taking on board a silicone breast implant is not generally considered a suicidal act.

Oddly enough, one drummer still thrashing away is Clyde Stubblefield. A man who'd be forgiven for becoming bitter, twisted and suicidal. Clyde - a king of ryhthm if ever such a man existed - was James Brown's drummer in the sixties. He's the man on Funky Drummer and therefore the man sampled every time. He was on salary, James Brown directed the band and therefore 'wrote' the songs. So Brown gets the money despite the fact that most samples of James Brown records don't include Brown's voice and often include Clyde Stubblefield's drums.

Maybe if they had breast implants full of euthanising drugs that slowly leaked......

You can forgive the confusion though. It's not like his work has dazzled us of late. Personally, I'm struggling to remember the plot of his last winner - Crossfire Trail, a 2000 TV movie. Begging the question whether it's as good as the stunning Road to Dusty Death starring Simon MacCorkindale discussed on the F1 thread hereabouts.

Ah, a poster who has clearly visited Howlett's zoo in Kent. John Aspinall - now deceased - owner was keen on close contact between his keepers and the wild beasts. There is a touching memorial to a couple of keepers shat out by lions.

Get a picture of the white stuff up here. It'd be preferable to any of us trying to create our own as per the earlier post on this thread. I've tried e-mailing Blue Peter to see if they'll do an item on making your own white dog poo. For some unaccountable reason they're now blocking me e-mails.

Many vet's surgeries send the carcasses of dead animals - like horses - to their local zoo as a source of animal food. Maybe the odd carcass of a vet would make a welcome change from horsemeat for the lions.

Re coffee, a good way to state your preferences is to drink Michael Jackson coffee. Basically rating the strength and - therefore - colour of your coffee by his skin colour on various album covers. Strong - very brown = Off The Wall coffee Weak - almost white = Bad coffee etc I'm off the wall every time.......as far as the coffee's concerned.

White dogs = owners like Elizabeth Taylor who've lost the bloody plot. Anyway, for your theory to stand up I want to see jpgs of spotted Dalmation poo!

"In recent years, Taylor has reportedly become closely attached to her pet dog, saying that she goes nowhere without her little Maltese named Sugar. In an interview with American magazine W, Taylor said she was happiest while with husbands Todd and Burton, but now has to be content with her Maltese dog, Sugar, for company. She explains, "I've never loved a dog like this in my life. It's amazing. Sometimes I think there's a person in there. There's something to say for this kind of love - it's unconditional." Has anyone interviewed Sugar for his opinion? I'm tellin' ya, if my owner called me Sugar I'd bite her f******' legs.

I'm enjoying this thread, I'll miss it when the mods blitz it. Re the white dog S**t: It died when the food manufacturers stopped using chalk as a thickener. The dogs didn't digest much chalk, hence the colour their S**t came out.

Sorry, I should've guessed from all the chants I've heard at the New Den that you don't always do lateral thinking down your way. Basically, the crazes that are dying out include decent land wars in Europe, spotting sufferers from diseases now cured etc. As for the football point, I'm sure you twigged that. Premiership attendences are falling like a stone cos Chelsea have it sown up and half the teams in that league have no chance of winning anything. By contrast Carlisle United's crowds - and probably Millwall's - are holding up well.

Paying your own money to turn up and watch Premiership football. Travelling to Europe every few decades to kill Germans. Spotting white dog S**t and/or people with large metal structures on their limbs to aid walking. Man, it's so boring these days.

Comic legend: No way Comedy?: well that kind of depends on your sense of humour. There are grim laughs to be had on many of the threads hereabouts.

Yeah, and whilst I'm doing the anorak bit Neil Young also has a daughter - Amber Jean - who's not afflicted with anything, other than a famous dad, obviously.

How many more kidneys does he need to make The Guinness Book of Records?

I just wonder if the neo-cons were held enough as babies.

Look, we can mock humans all we want - 'nothin' but a virus with shoes' as Bill Hicks so memorably stated. But mocking the death of a cat? Now that's serious.

Janeo: Can't say I'm an expert on cerebral palsy but - whatever the ins and outs of Neil Young's case - the odds were so large against him ending up in the situation that his fame has spread to medical text books in the USA.

Niki Lauda - three times formula one world champion - has a new kidney.

Aye, 'appen this is telly as permanent departure loungue. Another worthy consideration is anyone who's been around who might be coming up to the show's cast. I mean, if Richard O' Sullivan could get a job anywhere these days....... Or Clive Dunn

Indeed it is. The careers dept at the school has placed a dozen human paperweights in offices within the last month!