maryportfuncity

Did he ever START writing poetry? Guess it's a matter of judgement. A nice little physical joke to play on your work mates. You'll need to be casually drinking from a bottle of water as you do it. Knock knock. Who's there? Sue. Sue who? AT THIS POINT THROW SOME WATER OVER THEM Tsunami!!!!!! HILARITY ENSUES. Unless you've just doused Dickie Attenborough.

'Dickie' is an odd one for sure. He's - nominally speaking - the head of the massive new film studio complex in Wales. Looks like he's throwing himself headlong into work to deal with his grief after the Tsunami. Might be a recipe for a sudden and massive heart attack.

He dispensed with ash trays at his mansion in Epping, just threw his fags in the pool. Arf arf.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? Art. Oh hell, we're back to that self-opinionated excuse for a celebrity Mr Garfunkel. I'm out of here.

A wild guess: 1 - She's hetrosexual. 2 - She looks that way because one of her grandparents was a horse.

The last one lifted off. It was the coming down in the form of a jigsaw that bothered NASA.

Briggs: Please dish the dirt. Have you had dealings with this woman?

High-voiced singer with the Chi-Lites and all time afro hair growing champion died last week aged 64.

C'mon we're connoiseurs of death and dying here. What are our favourite books on the subject? There are three I'd recommend totally: The Undertaking - Thomas Lynch: Poet and undertaker presents a series of essays subtitled 'Life studies from the dismal trade.' An honourable mention for the follow up 'Bodies in Motion and at Rest' Dancing with Mr D: Bert Kiezer: Doctor who - amongst other things - hands people fatal doses of morphine and sits around whilst they drink them. Sees death as 'a great turd' and wrote a book in which he constantsly skirts around death without ever really understanding it. How We Die - Sherwin Nuland: Taught medicine for years, devotes a chapter to every major cause of death and explains it in cold, clinical terms. Not for the nervous - or, probably, any of the 42 surviving DL members.

Satboy: Is there a web site dishing the dirt on Helen Clark?

And what does 'The' Donald Sinden have to do with anything?

Shame Read his autobiography - Mr Blue - a few years back. One hell of a story, better than much fiction. Re Mr Blue: He was an actor too, playing that part in Reservoir Dogs and a few others.

You're a charitable human Bruno. Such behavior reminds me of a creature halfway between a champion w**ker and full-blown autism. I must get round to reading my dictionary cover to cover.....oh I forgot, I have a life.

Windsor, chill. Half the fun around these parts is finding out about the people. I knew Dimebag from his many years of ear splitting excellence with Pantera. But this site has been a revelation to me in other ways. The I'd never heard of that 'Pope' fella in Rome and enjoyed the banter on that thread.

More up to date: What's brown and half eaten? The last pope.

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach also comes highly recommended, thanks for posting Lady G, seeing your musings on being female and fascinated by this stuff reminded me of this great - female authored - read. It's a book like a good wine: plenty body, an understated hint of fun and capable of sustaining your interest to the end.

Dead today, been living and working in Canada for the last 25 years but will still be missed all over the place. Let the heartaches begin.

Cheers Hein I never claimed such an outlook as the exclusive preserve of the Northern English. In fact your posts have a similar outlook on life to my Dutch mate who works as a psychologist in the UK, looking after brain injured people. He's brilliant at his job, and great with a grim one-line joke over a bottle of wine.

It's to do with the 'calling a spade a spade' outlook on life. Basically if something is obviously a certain way those steeped in the traditions of Northern England tend to have little regard for anyone attempting to see it any other way. For example, those 'educationalists' this week who want to rebrand failing an exam as 'deferred success' would be well advised to avoid pubs in West Cumbria where their ideas might lead to people reasoning with them by way of a decent kicking. A good recent DL example is the flagrant mocking of the self-opinionated excuse for an intellectual and poet that is Art Garfunkel that I kicked off on the USS Enterprise thread today. Other features of Northern pragmatism exist all over the Deathlist first off the grim fatalism we consistently promote evident in phrases like 'Life's hard and then you die' and secondly our favoured escape from such matters evident in grim and - to some - tasteless humour. Something I appreciate about this site. I hope that explains grim Northern pragmatism. I'm not claiming the DL as its spiritual home but I feel at home here.

Every cancer can be operated upon, the tricky bit is keeping the patient alive. So she wasn't telling Larry King the literal truth, then again she showed similar tendencies where her finances were concerned. I'd be prepared to have a bash at operating myself once I've cleaned a few garden tools and my best carving knife. Failing that, get her down for next year. Not that it's down to me but surely she qualifies as an infamous jailbird even if her fame by marrige doesn't count.

Now you're talking Hein. Let's get Garfunkel in there, it'd really make his hair stand on....... On second thoughts maybe not.

S'cuse my Northern pragmatism but......we're not getting any younger and death can strike at any time from any direction. Might be 499 this time tomorrow.

Hein: Trust me, reading the works of Art Garfunkel and poetry appreciation are two activities unlikely to go together. Years ago I used to wonder why Simon and Garfunkel split at the height of their fame. Then I visited Art's on line love letter to himself and began to understand why their reunion tours tended to allow for separate limos to and from the shows. I suggest that the next person to happen upon the Deathlist and accuse us of being saddos who don't get out enough should be made to spend fifteen minutes surfing artgarfunkel.com. Bear in mind Art was a post-grad archictecture student when S&G went pro as singers. So Paul Simon's 'So Long Frank Lloyd Wright" is really a barbed kiss off to Art on the Bridge Over Troubled Water album: Archictects may come and architects may go Never change your point of view When I run dry I stop a while and think of you.

Having bought and savoured Nimoy's excreble tome "Will I Think of You' I'll vouch for the Vogonity of its contents. In fact I once heard a Douglas Adams fan suggesting the idea for Vogon poetry was inspired by the fact that 'Spock' wrote such crap. Another celeb pushing him all the way in the pretentious drivel stakes is Art Garfunkel, an individual so self-obsessed his official site lists every book he's read since the late sixties and the number of pages contained therein. The link below gets you within range of Art's writing, mainly poems and 'prose poems.' 'Still Water' offers the worst of the drivel...you have been warned! Art's 'Art'

Everytime I try it on for some mid-afternoon action with the wife she says: 'Get off, you're an animal.' Can't see the resemblence myself.