maryportfuncity

Fergus Shanahan in today's Sun newspaper is openly advocating we spring Biggs, if anyone can get him out, it's The Sun. Can't see the paper taking this on as a major campaign, mind.

The Red Dutchess , sounds like a racehorse, in reality she was an aristocrat with a hatred for General Franco.

Honez, how is the normally good humoured and unflappable Anthony Williams acquitting himself as the last line of the Wrexham defence? He wasn't too bad for Carlisle, I saw him pull a fantastic one against one stop to prevent Darren Bent scoring for Charlton when we went there in last season's league cup. But for the stellar brilliance of Kieren Westwood I have a hunch 'Taff' would have got more games for us.

Neil is onstage in Manchester tomorrow night, Mrs MPFC and The Voice of Young Maryport will also be in attendance. Everything I've heard about this tour suggests the man is on fire and showing no evidence of ill health or slowing down. I'll keep yers posted.

70 yard punt into goal by Ryan McCann of Queen of the South yesterday.

Leave Mrs MPFC alone and concentrate on Thatcher, who is the subject of this thread.

According to The Sun (yeh yeh, I know, but....) he's such a heavy smoker that the air filter in his airplane had to be cleaned out since it was clogged with tar. Not good.

Hey up P W D L Pts GD 2. Doncaster Rovers 35 19 8 8 65 +22 3. Carlisle United 34 19 7 8 64 +18 4. Nottingham Forest 34 15 12 7 57 +23 Granted we were lucky today, they hit the woodwork before our first ricocheted off the chin of one of Brighton's defenders into the path of Danny Graham, then they had a definite penalty waved away before we scored again on the hour and shut up shop. Seven point cushion to fourth place mind, and a game in hand over the team one point ahead, and 12 home wins on the bounce, this is looking good.

Pollack will go next.......FACT!

A guy decides to have a party where his guests are asked to come As different emotions e.g. fear etc. On the night of the party, the first guest arrives and the host opens the door to see a guy covered in green paint with the letters N And V painted on his chest. He says to this guy, "Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you Come as?" The guy says, "I'm green with NV". The host replies, "Brilliant come on in and have a drink." A few minutes later the next guest arrives and the host opens the Door to see a woman covered in a pink body stocking with a feather boa wrapped around her most intimate parts. He says to this woman, "Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you Come as?" She replies, "I'm tickled pink." The host says, "I love it, come on in and join the party." A couple of minutes later the doorbell goes for the third time, And the host opens the door to see two Irish blokes, Paddy and Mick, standing stark naked, one with his willy in a bowl of custard and The other with his willy stuck in a pear. The host is really shocked and says, "What the hell are you both doing? You could get arrested standing like that out there in the street. Anyhow what emotion is this supposed to be?" Paddy replies, "Welllll, Oim fokn discustard, and Mick here has just come in despair"

Gretna in deep sh*t. Granted there's been loads of clubs looking over the edge this season but Gretna have climbed too far too fast and with Mileson's health giving out it doesn't look too good at all.

Police digging at the Jersey Childrens' home have found Michael Jackson's other glove.

Edwin Bickerstaff, not hugely famous but known to everyone who's ever suffered from Bickerstaff's Encephalitis.

Some Japanese bloke with firmly held beliefs and a sense of theatre has died. No name as yet, maybe he was called Hari Kari.

There's a famous fan video, dunno if it's on You Tube, of Healy standing up to walk of stage and falling into the audience.

They could - like - cut out his brain and keep it alive in a tank!

My frustration at seeing a 'banker' pick laughing in the face of mortality is lessened by the site of Bruno back in action.

And why was it "crap" Mary? By all means bring all the circumstantial evidence to the table which proves beyond all reasonable doubt that it was bollocks. Several of those who told detailed stories of their involvement - notably Larry 'Left at East Gate' Warren - didn't seem to spot each other. Details in the various stories, like exactly where in the field the thing touched down or even if it did, largely contradict each other. The 'hard' evidence of radiation etc is circumstantial at best. The other 'hard' evidence of the so-called 'Halt' memo confirms sketchy details and nowt more and once we're into supposition the total pragmatists have a plausible case linking dipshit American servicemen, the atmospheric conditions and the local lighthouse to account for the light. Personally I'm with the slight conspiracy notion which the otherwise dick-headed Larry Warren hints at when he suggests the presence of secret Cruise missiles at the base because Upper Heyford and Greenham Common were picketed. In other words if you consider that it was important to rehearse firing these things on mobile launchers, realise that was impossible near a peace camp and then consider the best option of trying this to avoid discovery might be in a forest in the middle of the night in the midwinter holiday you've got some idea of where I'm going. Drop the missile over the side of the launcher and you might just explain a sudden scramble of service personnel, lights seen in the forest, strange holes in the ground and a hint of radiation. And the Halt memo is a cover up and distraction so it's no wonder he got promoted soon after. In fact since the Halt memo mentions lights and scrambling service personnel to investigate it might even be true since the recovery team wouldn't necessarily be known to the security staff on duty on the base that night. So Halt might well be telling the truth, just missing out the bit about a few high up in the US command knowing what was going on. Be interested in your evidence, and your opinions on the 'Rendle Shame' chapter in that highly recommended book 'The UFOs That Never Were.'

Andy Kershaw in meltdown. I used to rate this tosser but his dark side is, well, dark on this evidence. He looks well rough too.

Rosenman was one of James Dean's best mates, wasn't he? I remember seeing him in that mid-seventies documentary talking about the lunatic fan mail directed to him after Dean's death.

Fortean Times have reported the death of Georgina Bruni, socialite who fell for the story about a UFO crashing in Rendlesham Forest and went on to write a book that led others to fall for the same crap.

I hear it's MEN ONLY at the funeral.

Ms Barnes 'Fighting for her life' according to Britain's top tabloid.

Not that we're in much of a position to check but if you include time travel claiments then John Titor was a young man when he travelled back over thirty years to warn us about the future. And The elusive Kylan Masters claimed he was only back in time for a few weeks before returning to 2089. I mean, even if his book sells slowly for all that time he could have gone back to a sh*t load of royalties.

Gone but not forgotten, by his creditors anyway. Some of the papers today reporting that he's left about £7m of debt.