maryportfuncity

Them Tongans should be a different class of ranter, the other name for the place is 'The Friendly Islands.'

, in Waitrose.

Aye, we could nip round Handy's house for a cuppa after watching a few over-enthusiastic bike fans wrapping themselves round the local foliage. Now, if only we could stop fighting amongst ourselves we could get it organised.

As Bill Hicks once remarked; 'Have you noticed how a lot of creationists look unevolved?'

Miguel Serrano, another bloody long lived author. Saw his 89th birthday announced in one of the big serious papers today but had to check out Wikipedia to discover summat about him. Do you think - like - those of us posting regularly here will get the same long term health benefits enjoyed by authors, lots of them seem to live a long time.

Aye, I was just joshin. Not sure I fancy fighting in that high octane, loveless petrol-head scrum either. There's sea, sand and some suprisingly good late-summer sun to be enjoyed in West Cumbria today. Might gan' doon the harbour for chips later.

OoO, she looks healthy but I think the worst of the damage was bone and ligament, so she's probably not so mobile and - therefore - struggling to 'work.' They've done a holiday camp summer season and one night at the Edinburgh fringe but they're taking it much more slowly than in the past. You can always book for the upcoming panto in Darlington though.

If we ever fancied a DL weekend conference, I think attending some Irish motorbike road racing would be perfect.

Oops, shooting from the hip again. Incidentally OoO, how's the weather in Italy? Looked okay on my telly.

Very interesting; They should screen it to the world, it'd encourage assassination attempts and earn us a much needed stiff on the list.

I've read the above post half a dozen times; for real, polite ranter, one of ours taking the piss? I haven't a bloody clue.

So it's official, the worst kept secret in F1 finally made 'public' by the man himself. He could be the first champion since Jackie Stewart in 1973 to quit whilst reigning champ. I think we can rule out Mansell's hissy fit in 1992 when he wandered over to America because Prost was contracted to Williams for 1993. Will Schumi make it alive to the end of the season? Almost certainly.

Have an

Football death, of a sort. Carlisle's cherished 100% home record is gone, held 1-1 by Northampton. Decent game mind, and we're still 5th.

Re Pirsig's age; I'm getting it from a bad source obviously - an English lecturer in a local uni. A trawl round confirms that the world and his dog thinks he was born in 1928. In fact, I posted as much on a writers thread ages ago and was then convinced by talking to someone that Pirsig had lied about his age, taking almost a decade off it. He didn't. Hein; the weird thing about Pirsig's writing is that I've ready ZMM three times and felt different each time roughly; i - F**k, that blew me mind that did. ii - Pretentious shite, no question. iii - Hmm, not sure about his ideas but he can't half write, that stunt he pulls with the narrator's point of view would be a disaster in other hands. Oddly, the last time I read ZMM was after I'd read 'Lila' where the conceit of the ideas is less and his skill as a novelist is much more apparant. Go well

Tempus Fugit, eh! A nivver took thoo fur a Cumbrian, A'm well impressed young gadgee, like eh.

Should you find yourself attempting to light a fire and lacking in firelighters, a handy alternative is a packet of custard creams, especially supermarket's own ' Value' brands. They're a bit slow to get gannin' but once the vast tonnage of hydrogenated fat starts to burn there's a steady insistence and real power in the orange flames generated, certainly enough to light kindling and dry logs. Go well. Incidentally, are there any chimney sweeps amongst the posters? I'm not sure this practice is very advisable on a regular basis.

There isn't a bunch of anything around here because there aren't enough regular posters to make up a bunch. Man, a few dozen people falling out over a little bit of territory isn't gonna do anyone any good. I'm sure One Shot Paddy could enlighten us with a few examples from the - ahem - politics of his locale. I mean, what's the F*****g problem anyway? I reckon Rotten Ali, OoO and Alphonsin with their death science have added summat. Just like the ranters bring in a bit of sport and the rest of us hopeless cases find respite from the mocking taunts of school children and the frequent reminders in the local press of our convictions for crimes against animals and children. I'm sure we're all reminded at these times of Carlisle United's championship performance last year built on the science and skills of Michael Bridges, the no-nonsense experience of Kevin Gray and - when required - the assassin tackling of Ziggy Aranalde. Take any one component out of the machine and it works less well, or summat.

Blandness is a disease. DL the antidote, or summat.

Neither do I, I was joking.

Aye, but will you still be bothered when you've sold yer Bliar exlcusive to the press?

He taped a full account of what really happened, assuming - it seems - that he wouldn't be around to face any more consequences. His account is being transcribed by prison officers, guys on poorish wages, one of whom might be tempted into a running off an additional photocopy in return for tabloid cash. I predict this thread will bounce up and down like the desperate defensive clearances of Stockport County.

Maninblack; if you've got evidence to back that up it'll never be worth more to the press than during this weekend. Please drop in and post occasionally when you're sunning yourself on your own island.

C'mon, that sentence didn't arrive in that review by accident. It's on a par with the time Ted Heath brought home some British hostages from Iraq and they stayed a night in Jordan before flying home, allowing the BBC to start their report; 'Ted Heath spent last night in Amman.' (heh heh)