Mortician

I think the question is where else it fits!

That'll be why, suggest a quick one (?) at the pub lunchtime and you'll feel right as rain.... On the spyware thing, malevolent little blighters downloaded without your knowledge from the interweb. Download one of the freeware options (even Bill G has a free one on the windows site) and it'll remove any you've got. Can cause slow running or capture and publish key strokes or just embarassing pop ups.... I am the proud (!) owner of an iMac - would the stuff from Bill work on it? No, windows only, and being a maccer you're probably safer than us windows wallahs anyway... By all accounts these people do offer detection software but no idea if any good... Mac Scan

I always wondered why we don't have aid convoys attached to Journos. Whenever anything happens the Beeb can have a breakfast tv presenter there with full broadcast capability and make up cart in 24 hours. In New Orleans the locals were forced out but the Beeb remained. When Rita was heading for the coast the Beeb bloke was like Canute at the shore. Bugger heavy lifting gear, get Kate Adie there with 15 of her mates and Kashmir will be rebuilt, political agreement reached between India, Pakistan and the Kashmiri Separatists by Tuesday afternoon.....

That'll be why, suggest a quick one (?) at the pub lunchtime and you'll feel right as rain.... On the spyware thing, malevolent little blighters downloaded without your knowledge from the interweb. Download one of the freeware options (even Bill G has a free one on the windows site) and it'll remove any you've got. Can cause slow running or capture and publish key strokes or just embarassing pop ups....

Matt I read your post through a couple of times. It doesn't seem to make too much sense, never mind the grammatical errors. I think you should push off. Another pack of smarties for the nutter please...

Pretty much yes, although some of us still aspire to move from cess pit to sewer.... Yours in excreta

Had similar row with my sister-in-law when she started wittering on about e-numbers causing hyperactivity.... Her children being little b*st*rds that never get told off for being little gits is caused by her inattention not a blue smartie once in a while. Hyperactive child = Underactive parent ADHD child = Underactive parent with guilt complex Asbergers Syndrome child = Underactive parent with guilt complex and social worker

I'm sure the poor black residents of New Orleans will feel overjoyed to have such largesse from a member of the white community....

Picture the scene, (in)famous man decides to return to public eye. Travels to London (as if post bombings London tourism had enough problems) and decides to go to Madame Tussauds Waxwork museum (Michael too much plastic already). Then to avoid controversy he thinks I should go and catch a West End show. Now I've just be acquitted of child molestation and even the jury thought I had an unhealthy interest in young boys - I know - Billy Elliot the Musical that'll be just the ticket!

Perhaps Klaus Barber, the master butcher of Leigh on Sea....

Let's hope the donor is Kevin Costner....

At least that would stop Parisians having to create their artificial beach on the banks of the Seine every summer - Mind you lovely city shame about the locals! Anyway global warming doesn't worry George W - Halliburton are branching out into Oil Rigs to float above Texas in future, and they've got some dandy new boats for the marines working in Baghdad.

It's time for Sting to give up the ghost, I'm sure if we told him we'd plant him in the rain forest to help the indiginous peoples he'd probably go voluntarily.... Give Trudie a rest from the tantric sex as well. You've got to admire her stamina, not for putting up with days of sex but living with the pretentious geordie school teacher for so long... Roxanne put out the red light - no f*ck off it's keeping you out you moaning twunt!

I'm sure that as soon as Burberry start making gibbets they'll do it themselves.... Perhaps we should take the corpses and lash them to the flowers at the petrol station! Personally I want to be left as a rotting surprise in a classroom cupboard for the school holidays - that should liven up the first day of term.

And I can't think of anybody else who may exaggerate symptons in order to gain some sympathy, and perhaps evade justice Perhaps he's being represented by the same legal team as Ernest Saunders - the only man to be released from prison due to Alzheimers and recover - obviously Guinness is good for you!

In the spirit of calm debate, a Denver Congressman has suggested that the US should retaliate against any nuclear attack from Islamist fundamentalists by bombing their religious sites... Tom Tancredo As Osama wants to bring down the Saudi state and create a new Islamic theocracy across the world, perhaps threatening to bomb the crap out of Saudi Arabia amongst others might not be too clever.... So, who do we think should be in the running to replace George Dubya? I suggest Tommy would not be a sensible candidate!

Are you sure? Jeb's still running Florida, perhaps the idiot brother of the idiot son of an idiot can run and rig his own election this time.... I've more confidence in the Reaper

Oh to find a lamp-post now that summer's here, perhaps Nick you should be using the title Ell Ducky!? Oh no off he goes back to the bathroom

Working at a company that was going to the wall very quickly, so gallows humour became the norm with Deathlist offering copious sweepstake capabilities to lighten the mood.... This was back in the mists of 2001 and unlike most of the candidates and my old employer I'm still here!

Let's hope he's found out that St Peter is black and that he's being tortured in hell by representatives of all creeds, colours and religions. A day where the gene pool of the United Kingdon took a great leap forward, let's hope Nick Griffin decides to follow his Fuhrer's example!!

I think a stake through her undead heart is the only chance for her to go. Bad year for Catholics and Politicians so far - what chance Gerry Adams arriving fast on the rails?

Interesting attitude, 'We didn't lose the war we just failed to fulfil our commitment to South Vietnam'.... Next we'll have Dubya saying he didn't invade Iraq without cause we were just fulfilling Daddy's commitment to the Saudi Royal Family.... I wonder how many of the families of the 50K US Servicemen killed Vietnam feel the commitment was justified?

It's not going to happen, even if he was being driven along Dealey Plaza in an open topped car, a headshot would only damage the organ that he uses least.... As for Deadly Dick, just tell him Halleburton shares are in free fall and it should push him over the edge...

Perhaps having Hayden Characterless play your younger self is enough to drive you to death... If so JEJ is definitely knackered!

Ministers are having another pop at trial by jury, claiming that the public are too stupid to understand complex trials. So esteemed Death Listers we know we're clever enough, what's the best system of justice?