Mortician

Doesn't this show a deep seated (or attempting to be in deep in someone's seat) love of a Communist icon - or am I missing something.... As for OMJ and IYG shall we stop this playground spat - we know you both want to ask each other out but you're embarassed, we're all in big school now, you can even hold hands (or throats) if you would like

Can anyone recommend a pubic hair counting software package, as I've been using Pubelook but like all MS stuff doesn't quite reach the standard (although it did find a couple of very short ones in Michael Jackson's inbox).... 2 down on last week if anyone's interested, although the grey ones are increasing in number.

And I suspect you know all 4 verses of God Save the Queen as well! The institution of monarchy has not kept us safe and free for 2 millenia. The robber barons didn't manage to unify under a single main bastard until about 800ad, the following 700 years resolved around families fighting each other to stay at the top of the greasy poll... As such the Norman Conquest, Wars of the Roses, Civil War and Glorious Revolution could not be described as periods of peace brought about by the wonders of Monarchy. You could actually state that the period since the Monarchy has been marginalised by constitutional role have been the most peaceful period in our history. Mind you the thought of Bliar (or any of the other tossers) being el Presidente is so awful.... God Save the Queen As for our Aussie cousins then I suggest you have Rolf Harris as head of state with little Kylie as Princess Consort; it'll get'em both out of England and give us a rest.... Can't you tell what it is yet, it's another mindless ass whiggling irritating pop record that you can't get out of your feckinhg head

I think OJ must have been once of her nephews. Every relative she visited ended up being accused of murder, but of course proved to be innocent... Now we all know that OJ had done nothing wrong and was merely framed by a callous murderer (unknown) and inept bumbling police - the core plot of every MSW....

Thank you Donald Rumsfeld for this concise political statement.

soccer player Thought it was Volleyball!

Would have said that the Catholics are making all the running to me....

Had he given the carebears guns it would have been ok. Having them bring down the Empire with japes previously only seen in bleeding Famous Five books was just too crap for words.... When Vader's helmet came off I half expected to see Enid Blyton! Mind you I didn't think JarJar was the worst thing in Phantom Menace as the screenplay, direction, acting, music and effects were all equally as bad!

How about a 'sector' based group of lists for next year in addition to the main 50. For example: Top 20 Acting types Top 20 Politicos Top 20 Scientists Top 20 Artists Top 20 Religious Types Top 20 Famous for being famous Firstly it gives us more scope, and a nice side bet on which group is suffering most at the hands of the Reaper?

Max helped Joe Louis out when Joe had lost all his money and were good friends; I think he even helped pay for his funeral.... Joe L's story is your classic boxer pissing all his money away, with active help from his friends and advisors! Strange that Mike Tyson was always presented as a great student of boxing history when he was younger but learnt nothing from this tale....

Please don't tell me that's a euphemism.... As for the Victor comic, perhaps we should get a few copies of Commando comics to send to Kraut.... Gott in himmel, achtung etc.....

When people winge about the death of the British car industry they should remember that we inflicted Tudor wood frame building styling on cars.... While the rest of the world were producing sleek modern cars we put an engine in Anne Hathaways Cottage... Perhaps Rover can be saved if we enforce the nailing of large planks of woods on all other makes of car on sale in the UK?

If you're going to kidnap Prowse and the captains then please grab George Lucas as well.... Surely it's time for him to answer for his crimes against our youth for the Empire Strike Back sequels (let's be honest Return of the Jedi was a taste of the disappointment to come...)

We're simple souls who can't handle consensus. If we don't manage to sign up to a 5 year dictatorship then we get dreadfully confused... A hung parliament would mean we couldn't just have the parties kicking crap out of each other; but they might have to discuss the issues. To have this kind of activity in the House of Commons will just be too scary for words....

I heartedly agree that Animal Farm is a great novel. However, it should be read as a treatise on the failure of the Lenin-Stalinist implementation of the Marxist model in Soviet Russia, not an attack upon Marxist ideals. In pure Marxist theory, Russia in 1917 was not sufficiently developed to have reached a failed Capitalist model, and therefore be ripe for a Marxist Revolution. The Bolsheviks therefore imposed the revolution combined with a forced development process to fast track Russia to this state. Therefore the revolution itself was inherently not a Marxist act, and led to a Soviet system that was not Marxist. The utopian nature of Marxism has not been proved in any of its guises, but then neither has any other utopian system (including pure capitalism). All that we can ask is if most of the people in a state are aided or hindered by their system of government. The question we should ask about the Beard is whether most Cubans are better off now than they were in the 1950's? If you think they are, it doesn't prove the Marxist uptopia is correct, but if you think it is wrong then it doesn't disprove it either. As for systemic hatred of Commies I thought we were supposed to be scared of Halibuts now - or did I miss the memo about the Cold War refreezing?

Well there's the thing, as someone with leftist leanings they are the closest to a socialist option.... But easy to offer the world when you know the best you'll do is not be in office; which seems to be the Tory plan this time too. Would have included them but couldn't get it to scan with yellow

Sell as seen, and buyer beware I reckon mate (but don't sell it to any of us....) As for the election: Tinge of blue, tinge of red both make me wish I'd stayed in bed Time for none of the above I think....

and 99% of the world's intelligence...

Even in death the Pope launches a kick back at the British Royal family, Chuck's had to postpone his wedding poor dear... That'll teach you for breaking with Rome Henry VIII! Sad thing is that Ulster Protestants will probably think it was deliberate... On the reporter (Pope still dead shock) watch isn't it odd that JP2 is being praised as the Pope that brought down Communism, and while better than the Neo-Con bull of it all being Ronnie (not you Cowboy) Raygun, seems a little rich. I thought communism feel through a heady mixture of economic collapse, relenting dictatorship and people power, I think tarmac kissing was purely incidental?

Is it true Jonathan King has been released to act as a character witness for Jacko?

Could you enlighten me? In a nutshell? Live on a Diet of Worms and I'm sure it'll become clear...

The real question is why is the Pope so desperate to avoid meeting Saint Peter... Surely if anyone is a shoe-in for access through the Pearly Gates it must be the Pontiff, or is there a dark secret hidden that is forcing him to hold on so hard?? Do you think he suspects that Martin Luther was right after all?

But guns don't kill people, people kill people (although guns do help) I'm sure Michael Moore will be returning any spent bullets to the shop in a satirical manner in the near future... Already reporting that the lad was quoted on a neo-Nazi website (National Rifle Association perhaps?) so the lone nut will be blamed. Strange that a country that will have a special session of Congress and Senate to pass a law to prevent a woman having food withdrawn to protect her life will do completely nothing about gun control - or am I just mad?

Give John his due, he was embezzling British government money in Northern Ireland and using it for drugs long before the Paramilitaries caught onto the idea... As for the car, will be considered a classic once we invent a flux capacitor, while we're still on petrol - the funniest joke out of Belfast for years, only surpassed when Gerry Adams' voice was dubbed by Janet Street Porter (or was that just a nightmare?)

Aaah, the old cry for help routine... I suspect a cry for publicity would be a better description. This is quite restrained for the woman that had her naked arse projected on the Houses of Parliament. Mind you perhaps she wants to star in rather than present 'Dead Famous'? Does anyone know what she's actually famous for?