Mortician

Fine theorectical approach, unfortunately no one will agree the scope of the referendum. The Republicans would want a whole of Ireland vote, with the Unionists restricting the vote purely to the north. Traditionally the 2 approaches would guarantee a vote in either direction. It might be different now, as the Irish Republic has become so economically successful they might not want the bloody (literally) basket case of the north buggering up their successful country.

No wonder you tired, and keeping going for 24 hours on a horse....

Judging by the typing you've still your gloves on... Yes, Mike had a hard upbringing, yes he's been exploited by money men, but like Michael Jackson this does not excuse dreadful behaviour in your adult life. Even if you excuse his actions outside the ring, then he has brought boxing into disrepute (which takes a real effort considering the corruption in the 'sport').

Taking Churchill as an example, there are many people who suffer from Alzheimers, but it would not be considered the cause of death. The end stage, where physical control is so reduced that swallowing becomes difficult or impossible is the point where it would be considered the cause of death. Here's a link to a site someone has already researched, although cannot confirm the accuracy of all examples (particularly the historical ones).. Alzheimers

..... and I thought she was a life-long member of the Conservative party...... Well they could be considered the same thing as Michael Howard has something of the night about him...

The only 90 she'll reach is the percentage proof whisky the old bitch will be supping before she joins the true ranks of the undead...

Is it true he's covering Rolf Harris' great hit 'Two Little Boys?' or is this just a scandalous rumour? By the way, nice pyjamas Mikey...

As they've both been named by the Irish Republic's Justice Minister as being members of the IRA Army Council and McGuinness has admitted being Chief in (London)Derry in the 1970's I suspect that if they were bumped off by the RA then it could be considered suicide. The problem for all the paramilitaries is that they're used to power. It takes a brave person to give up this power; especially as legitimate politics might not give you the control you crave. Therefore the current impasse, with a veneer of legitimacy over a basis of feudal control of sectarian areas, is not going to change easily. As for Adams cutting his links with the IRA; it needs you to believe that Sein Fein is not the same organisation (it is), that Republicans en masse would support Sein Fein without the IRA's backing / threat and that moderate Protestants would move into the middle ground. Does not seem likely, and whatever you feel about Adams, he is not stupid and therefore he'll stick with the status quo and wait for the Loyalists to do something stupid to take the pressure off...

Is this you???

Don't forget a set of bizarre half-arsed (yes from Blighty) rules derived from many years of repressed homosexuals, sadists, masochists leading the church... Add a few pinches of hypocrisy, warm over a burning heretic for 1900 years and you'll be dandy! I've got no problem with religion, but like crime, only gets really scary when it's Organised!

It seems to be a strange irony that God has taken John and George while leaving us with Thomas the Tank Engine's voice and the man who gave us the Frog Chorus and Mull of Fecking Kiltyre.....

You're only as old as the stiff you feel....

I'm glad you like the old stiff

Specials do it for nowt. These Hobby Bobbies are fine pillars of the community who help others without financial reward or are jumped up little Hitlers exercising their uniform fetishes depending on your point of view... One bloke I know did it because it got him into Football matches for nowt, so gave it up to become a steward when less police were needed inside the ground. (And he was bullied at school) On the footie issue, the Old Bill charge the clubs for policing the grounds, wonder if you get a discount if they use Specials?

It would only be fitting if he went by jumping through a boardoom window and plummeting down to the street below.... Looks fortunately busy on imdb so suspect he'll be hanging around a little longer, mind you he's always good value. Looks like he proved quite hard to kill when he fought in Europe during the Second World War (3 purple hearts) so I would put him on the long list for 2007. Hopefully by then he could have the chance to do another couple of Coen brother films.

Wait your turn, I'm still in the queue for my bucket of holes

Surely we can give thanks to the great Psychotic Bastards of History. How about more grades up the process named after great (as in volume of victims rather than humanitarian value) dictators: Shipman: 200 Historically Nutty Pol (Pot): 300 Culturally Revolted (Mao): 350 Uncle Joe (Stalin): 400 Der Furious Fuhrer (Hitler): 500

As for deaths, perhaps Martin Bashir will meet with a dreadful accident. Would be quite fitting really as he started the passion for sychophantic celebrity based non news stories polluting the British broadcast media with the bloody Di interview. As for the trial, the defence will spend its entire time trashing the kids and parents, diverting all attention. Keep offering an out of court settlement and then leak it to the press that the parents are money grabbing. The bizarre thing is that if he got convicted and served a little jail time he would be better off in his career than if he's acquitted. The US seem to love reformed stars, look at Martha Stewart ready for her new broadcast deal, once she leaves Club Fed. One thing does come to mind, isn't it a shame that during the filming of Thriller he never dressed up as Uncle Fester?

This week on the Sky At Night... The Luftwaffe rising in the eastern horizon Let us hope the reflection from Patrick's mirror telescope didn't identify the target. I would have thought his complete looniness and more than a little scary xylophone playing are more drivers for his single status! Give Pat his due he is a national institution or perhaps should be in one

Does the vice pope have a different scope of responsibilities, aided by the Sisters of the Negotiable Virtues?? On the tracheotomy thing, surely it's a big risk as he's been looking as if he's slowly deflating, perhaps he's going to become a papal whoopie cushion! {topics merged}

Is it true that the Queen's wedding present to Camilla is a weekend in Paris, car and driver provided?

And the plucky poor Oirish People are all lurverly, singing, dancing, drowning due to their evil British Capitalist Bar Stewards (who wouldn't open the gates). Mind you what do you expect when you let the King of Rohan drive a boat? And that's another over-rated pile of sentimentalist (I'll carry you Mr Frodo) tosh that won Best Picture... Anyone worked out where Sean Astin got his accent from, it seems to transverse the Atlantic in most sentences?

I blame Rollo Tomassi... And I believe in God and the only thing that scares me is Barney Tobasco

A sensible analysis about foreign policy from someone called Bush... Will wonders never cease. Is it true that you're the non-idiot brother Basil?

Had a BAFTA tribute last week, means in sickeningly good health. The BBC would never use up their best obituary material on a tribute if there was any chance of short term karking it.... Another couple of years at least.