Lord Fellatio Nelson

Im just wondering, what with the current conviction rate, would it be possible to create a theoretical radio station with a list of those convicted placed into a breakfast, mid morning, and so on, slot? How about a top ten of records made by convicted sex offenders or summat? Glitter would go in at one ( if he cant find a ten year old) but who would fill the other nine, umm, slots?

Not sure that's very fair. Wilko refused all chemo but then the opportunity arose to have a pioneering but extremely risky operation to remove the cancer. Though it's ultimately cancer that kills you, it's usually the chemotherapy that makes you feel ill. By not having chemo, Wilko was risking living a lot shorter BUT was able to continue working because he wasn't feeling ill. Sadly, Lynda Bellingham has done as much as she can with regards to chemo and it's now time to pack the treatment in so she can enjoy her last few months. But, yeah, no.1 pick for 2015. If it has spread as suggested, she probably wont see the end of the year. Its something Ive had experience of and I wish to god I hadn't.

Frankie Boyle used to be as funny as fuck.

Birds Eye or Tescos own?

Take a bucket with you Mary, LG will need something large and substantial to drink her wine out of....

Fucking chav. That was quite an articulate speech, you could almost see Mel Gibson reading that one out, well he would had the text been more, kinda, anti semetic and the content been liberally salted along the lines of "Its all the N-words wogs and coons fault..." Possibly.....

London? Dhaka.

It's the increasing, terrifying prospect that this time next year Boris Johnson could be PM and Nigel Farage could be his deputy in a Tory-UKIP coalition Ok I had to check the IP address to make sure I didn't post this in my sleep but no it isn't my address and even asleep I would never post as a guest. The thought of Boris Johnson 'look at me I am a lovable clown' but is in fact an extremely shrewd man who's views are more right wing than Hitler and Nigel Farage ' I hate the Scots, I despise the poor and I will privatise your NHS quicker than the tories, also I will remove your holiday entitlement, your maternity leave and sick pay faster than you can blink' are the reason I have decided to vote Yes. I was shocked when the UK elections in May saw a huge surge towards Mr. Farage's party, he is a racist and a bigot, did I mention Fascist?. I will take my chances on independence, it isn't going to be easy and it isn't going to be fun, I may well lose my job but I would rather that than being governed by these fascist buffoons. Coming at this from another angle, I just wish everything would hurry the fuck up and get the fucking thing done one way or the other. Its dragged on longer than a Ken Dodd performance. No offence LG x No offence taken at all LFN!. In fact I agree with you, at least you have only been subjected to it on the news for the last few weeks, we in Scotland have had it rammed down our throats every single time we watch the Scottish news for more than a year now. On September 18th 2013 BBC Scotland aired a discussion programme about ' it will be 1 year from today Scotland votes'. total overkill and since then they have featured the referendum on our nightly news bulletin every single bloody day since then. The only respite we got was during the Commonwealth Games, I for one welcomed seeing dancing teacakes and Usain Bolt dancing to The Proclaimers, a bit of light relief. Jesus, I had no idea it was THAT bad!!!!!!!!!

It's the increasing, terrifying prospect that this time next year Boris Johnson could be PM and Nigel Farage could be his deputy in a Tory-UKIP coalition Ok I had to check the IP address to make sure I didn't post this in my sleep but no it isn't my address and even asleep I would never post as a guest. The thought of Boris Johnson 'look at me I am a lovable clown' but is in fact an extremely shrewd man who's views are more right wing than Hitler and Nigel Farage ' I hate the Scots, I despise the poor and I will privatise your NHS quicker than the tories, also I will remove your holiday entitlement, your maternity leave and sick pay faster than you can blink' are the reason I have decided to vote Yes. I was shocked when the UK elections in May saw a huge surge towards Mr. Farage's party, he is a racist and a bigot, did I mention Fascist?. I will take my chances on independence, it isn't going to be easy and it isn't going to be fun, I may well lose my job but I would rather that than being governed by these fascist buffoons. Coming at this from another angle, I just wish everything would hurry the fuck up and get the fucking thing done one way or the other. Its dragged on longer than a Ken Dodd performance. No offence LG x

Ian Paisley has gawn...http://www.itv.com/news/story/2014-09-12/former-democratic-unionist-party-leader-dr-ian-paisley-has-died/

Not necessarily true. Yes, some CEOs have began their careers shovelling shit before climbing to the top where they get others to do it but not all. The prevalence nowdays is for the young pretty things to go to University, get a business degree and walk straight into top jobs on the basis that they are A) Young Z) Have a degree C) are utterly ambitious and D) ruthless. Many have not a fucking clue how the business they head actually runs and nor do they really care. Their pay packets are irrelevant to me, life is unfair, unequal and we have never lived in a social utopia and nor will we. Ive got no time for idealists tbf, throughout human history we have tried pretty much everything to make all and everybody equal and fuck all has truly worked, communism, capitalism, you name it, its never really worked, infact the average "ism" is not to be trusted. All we can ask for is a bit of fairness, if the CEO earns £1 million a year, fine, I don't care but just don't fucking short change me, pay me a decent salary and don't treat me like a cunt. That's not too much to ask for, right?

The average English person doesn't really give a shit either way. Im just amazed that ANYBODY could vote for Salmond and that other nightmare wassername Sturgeon. I realise that Cameron is hardly Churchill but allowing those SNP tossers even a sniff of full control would be like seeking out a paedo to babysit you children. By all means leave the union but, dear God, don't hand the reins to an incompetent cnut and a woman that makes me want to kick the fucking TV in whenever I see her on it.

R.A is meticulous in compiling data, anybody that has been to a DL con can testify to that. His stats may well come to pass. He is currently dribbling at the prospect, nowt like being proved correct, aye.

That was me. I'm not sure why. I had to change it from "elect" to something; "recumbent" sounded better than "incumbent" I suppose, and if he were to die, I expect he would spend quite a lot of his time lying down. Oh, I wonder... The letters... B E N T in recumbent... Now Joan Rivers said it some time ago... Michelle Obama was born, and lived her life till the age of about 21 as a bloke called Michael. Dropped of the football team and became Michelle. Now we know that she is a big old unit but after watching one of those old you tube films I'm really intrigued to ask if it is on the radar of our American members? As a sub question... If she never had re-assignment opperation then does that make it the case Barack is gay? Not that it matters much what they get upto in bed, but if it's the case I don't really want the leader of western world to be living a lie. Maybe more will come out when he leaves office? PS Mrs Rotten is now calling me a redneck... Just when I thought you couldn't top your Ebola post............... You know what you have to do now R.A, get number crunching and calculate the odds of the conspiracy of Obama being born in Kenya and married to a dude etc etc. This may also throw up the possibility that Maggie Thatcher was really Mick Thatcher and Harold Wilson was really Gladys Wilson from Bolton or summat. I love you man, I love you!!!!

< looks at my tiny Penis > Fuck, its a clitoris, Im really a girl!!

What a coincidence.......http://www.exploringsurreyspast.org.uk/themes/subjects/refugees/stoatley_rough_school/

Insanity has returned the the forum. Its been too long.

Fucking hell, he has a "constant companion" an ex priest, who roams planet earth with him ( and looks after his properties too) and he also went out with ( loose term) Sue Barker.If that doesn't scream "GAY!!!!" what the fucking hell does??? My Dear old Dad used to tell us about the early days, Adam Faith, who they used to call Spotty Nelhams and Cliff Richard, to name but a few, starting out on the road to stardom getting booed off the stage and having anything to hand thrown at them. Cliff Richard had lots of rumours circulating about him even then ( pertaining to his sexuality) so its hardly old news. My Dad played in a band in the early 60s, knew loads of people and told us loads of stuff, he was in that kind of circle, loads of people trying to be famous, which he could have been if he hadn't tea leafed from a fag machine with his band mates one night. A night in the cells and a massive bollocking from his mum ensured that he became the wonderful dad he was. I know that's got fuck all to do with the thread but, bollocks, just remembering my Daddy, or summat.

Lucky bastard!

While you are here perhaps you would like to sort out the obits for all of those that have passed on the front page. Better still, endow one of the mods on here with that capability so you can carry on out there discovering yourself without the distraction of the DL. Thanks.

Ive probably spent the last 25 years, give or take a couple, working predominantly outdoors. Last week, for two days, I could smell autumn in the air. Fuck knows how or why but I seem to be able to smell autumn and spring. The smell of autumn is very fresh and clean, the air is not cold but you can feel a sharpness to it. Yep, may make no fucking sense whatsoever but, give or take the odd few days here and there, I reckon we are going into autumn already. This means, at some stage during the winter, I shall be working out in minus 12 or 17, as Ive had to do over the last few years. Im getting too fucking old for all that now.....

This water bucket challenge bollocks. Its gone too far and has to stop. Its gone beyond charidee and its now done just so people can record the event in a "Look at me!! Im just a right on funny fucker, eh!" fashion. Enough FFS!!!!! If you really have to do it then nominate a tramp, give them a bar of soap and pour the water over them slowly so that they can have a good fucking wash. At least then you will have a clean tramp, you wouldn't have wasted water and you will be doing two things to make the world a better place instead of just massaging your fucking social network profile.

I did read, a very long time back, one of those newspaper gossip columns which was giving out clues pertaining to certain celebrities and their "unusual" behaviours. One of the clues alleged that a certain man was prone to visiting a females who were specialists in "correcting errant behaviour" in particular "difficult cases". One of the clues was the phrase "...what a cock up..." Perhaps one of our collegues with an ear turned towards the entertainment industry could confirm?

Fuck, post of the year so far. You are a true DL legend RA I love you man, I love you!!!!!

Eh? That's what I said. Ehhhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhh.