Lord Fellatio Nelson

If Hein can block half of China from spamming this forum then, surely, its not beyond the capabilities of somebody to block this utter twat? Guest posting is all well and good ( not that many forums allow it anymore) but we need to be able to fuck off knob heads who have no intention of signing up and post crap. At least if they were to sign up they could legitimately post horse shit, like I do. Come on, block this w***er!!!!!!

I couldnt give a flying fuck whether you are a Martha or an Arthur. Hospital Porters earn crap wages, thats a known fact which means that you are even more full of shit than I had you down for. Utterly pointless.

Could this have been due to her long term steroid abuse? She went from a gorgeous super fit athlete to a muscle bound body builder with bigger bollocks than I have and a voice a basement staircase and an underground carpark lower than Barry Whites. IIRC Bobby Knutt did discuss the issues it caused and, I think, she gave all that up years back, however, it ruins the body. It was tragic watching her go from a Honey to a fuggin Honey Monster.

He done cunnilingus and caught dimple cancer. See, I knew it!! Aeroplanes are rife with disease!! I certainly wont be flying with Aer lingus then, they obviously have a total disregard for their passengers health and safety.

Did nobody see the archive footage taken of him in April? He was propped up on a sofa and all those people around him were using him as somesort of fucking trophy to have their photo taken with. He neither looked aware of anything nor well enough to look like he was actually alive. Im 99.99% certain that the last month or two has been him, in a vegetative state, being looked after ( and no doubt milked) by the people around him. i suspect that he died last night and there will be a 24 hour cooling down period for the mafia Government to prepare to tell the people or summat.

Look, just because your snatch hasnt seen any action for the last five years there is no need for jealousy!

We can't ban guest posters. They cause some of your best material. I guess an engraved locket is OK. My ex husband has my name tattooed on his chest and I think that is the most amusing thing that has ever happened in my life. It's a nice, quality tat too - according to his current paramour (or rhymes with that) it hasn't faded at all. Apparently it's so awful that she has to see it all the time and can't get away from the fact that I was part of his life....well, that and the inconvenient 26 year old son. Moral to this story, children - I don't care how much you think you love someone. NEVER get their name permanently placed on your anatomy. Jesus!! A Texan who speaks with the tongue of a 1920s English socialite or summat. Quite possibly the only American on Planet Earth that uses such a word AND understands what it means!! I use the word 'paramour' quite frequently. I think it's a splendid word, and have considered starting a campaign for it to replace the awful 'partner' which is unromantic and ambiguous. I also like 'concubine' which sounds like it could be something you have in your garden. But then I'm not American. Thank the Lord for that! Any more than two in the same place and its a fuggin Task Force ready to invade. Paramour is a delicious word, first heard by me on Coronation Street by Annie Walker as she lectured Bet Lynch, circa 1973. The problem is it can only really be used in situations where the couples are not, generally, knuckle dragging scum suckers who call all 8 of their kids "c**t" because they cant remember all their real names and are the first in to Cost cutters at 9AM, still wearing their slippers, to buy a couple of litres of own brand cider and 40 Mayfair. To this end, its probably appropriate to allow both terms to co exist, keeping "partner" to the great unwashed and "paramour" to people that have a degree of civility about them and have, at the very least, held down a job for more than 6 months. This idea has legs Toastie!!!

That is true even if all the ivestment bankers here were considered to be wankers they would only be a subset of the total amount of wankers on the site because the set of guests would have a large instersection with the set of wankers but it would not be a totally inclusive subset. I could go on but I promise I will not represent this on a Venn diagram! Was that Serbo Croat? I think you lost my back on the first bend. I think a Venn diagram and Banshees Scream to do the lingustic translations or summat would be a good idea. Its not you, im just considerably thicker than I appear to be. PS: "Guests" are, in all probability, 92.7% of the existing membership with sod all to do and are posting in the same vein of shit as they do when they log in. Possibly

Biggles will grow up in a World inhabited by Livingstones, Tarquins and Eliza Doolittle Farquhars. To put it into context, young Biggles will not stand out from the crowd and will live a life that is totally alien to the rest of us mere mortals. This lad wasnt just born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he was born with a whole fuggin African Gold mine in his lil chops. Fuck, does anybody REALLY think that this chap is going to go to Bash St School, leave at 16 without qualifications and work in McDonalds? Yes but fast forward 25 years as all our bodies are collapsing around us and when we are in hospital being introduced to the nice new junior doctor - Biggles Jackson-Kew. Fills you with confidence. At least Posie can marry out of the name although she could take a leaf out of her mother's book and end up with a triple barrrelled or quadruple barrelled name. Did Christian and Emily feel that their lives were so incomplete that they didn't want to saddle their offspring with uninspiring names? I am sitting here shaking my head. Spare a thought for the sister - Tuppence!!! Doctor?!? Investment banker, you mean!! Biggles is a middle to upper class chap, not the sort who will go into Politics and certainly not somebody who will become a Doctor. His life will revolve around Sloane Square and his retreat in rural Gloucestershire, or summat. I thought all investment bankers were called Worthless Arrogant w***er-Leech With no apologies whatsoever to any investment bankers who may visit this site. Dont apologise. I think we have slightly more in the way of wankers that visit here than investment bankers.

We can't ban guest posters. They cause some of your best material. I guess an engraved locket is OK. My ex husband has my name tattooed on his chest and I think that is the most amusing thing that has ever happened in my life. It's a nice, quality tat too - according to his current paramour (or rhymes with that) it hasn't faded at all. Apparently it's so awful that she has to see it all the time and can't get away from the fact that I was part of his life....well, that and the inconvenient 26 year old son. Moral to this story, children - I don't care how much you think you love someone. NEVER get their name permanently placed on your anatomy. Jesus!! A Texan who speaks with the tongue of a 1920s English socialite or summat. Quite possibly the only American on Planet Earth that uses such a word AND understands what it means!!

We can't ban guest posters. They cause some of your best material. I guess an engraved locket is OK. My ex husband has my name tattooed on his chest and I think that is the most amusing thing that has ever happened in my life. It's a nice, quality tat too - according to his current paramour (or rhymes with that) it hasn't faded at all. Apparently it's so awful that she has to see it all the time and can't get away from the fact that I was part of his life....well, that and the inconvenient 26 year old son. Moral to this story, children - I don't care how much you think you love someone. NEVER get their name permanently placed on your anatomy. I had the name of my first Girlfriend tattooed onto my Penis. When I met my wife she was a bit shocked to see it. "Who is Dawn?" She asked. "Ive no idea?", I stated "Well you have the name Dawn tattoed onto you cock!" She said, getting seriously pissed off. "Ah, I think you may be getting things a bit wrong" I replied. I gave the old chap a rub then asked the missus to take another look. She gasped..." Who the fuck is Deborah, Anne, Wendy, Newton!!!!!" Boom boom!!!!

What is it with all this constant name changing? Fucking waste of time, its just a pseudonym, its not like its got any relevance whatsoever to whats posted on here. This is NOT Second Life its Death List. Fings really aint wot they used to be.

Must have long arms then... No, long tongue though Actually it's TT fortnight so the population doubles and lots of the visitors are male, horny and a long way from home and it's the only time I get a look in. Post of the week!!!! Handy, did he look anything like Alexander Armstrong? Did he have his ears, ya know, something you could hold onto while he went "mining" for all those valuble minerals, aye. Just wondering, like.

Biggles will grow up in a World inhabited by Livingstones, Tarquins and Eliza Doolittle Farquhars. To put it into context, young Biggles will not stand out from the crowd and will live a life that is totally alien to the rest of us mere mortals. This lad wasnt just born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he was born with a whole fuggin African Gold mine in his lil chops. Fuck, does anybody REALLY think that this chap is going to go to Bash St School, leave at 16 without qualifications and work in McDonalds? Yes but fast forward 25 years as all our bodies are collapsing around us and when we are in hospital being introduced to the nice new junior doctor - Biggles Jackson-Kew. Fills you with confidence. At least Posie can marry out of the name although she could take a leaf out of her mother's book and end up with a triple barrrelled or quadruple barrelled name. Did Christian and Emily feel that their lives were so incomplete that they didn't want to saddle their offspring with uninspiring names? I am sitting here shaking my head. Spare a thought for the sister - Tuppence!!! Doctor?!? Investment banker, you mean!! Biggles is a middle to upper class chap, not the sort who will go into Politics and certainly not somebody who will become a Doctor. His life will revolve around Sloane Square and his retreat in rural Gloucestershire, or summat.

This topic has been covered before although, to be fair, I cannot recall a thread being created about it. If the thread is to work, may I suggest that names are not plucked out of the air just because they are or are coming up to the age of 27. Surely the whole point is to find people who are more likely to die at that age than anybody else. Unless Usain Bolt gets hit by a Train, he is less likely to die that a Formula 1 Racing driver or a Pop star living life to excess, right?

Biggles will grow up in a World inhabited by Livingstones, Tarquins and Eliza Doolittle Farquhars. To put it into context, young Biggles will not stand out from the crowd and will live a life that is totally alien to the rest of us mere mortals. This lad wasnt just born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he was born with a whole fuggin African Gold mine in his lil chops. Fuck, does anybody REALLY think that this chap is going to go to Bash St School, leave at 16 without qualifications and work in McDonalds?

I have this weird thing that goes on in my head. Certain things/name/objects cause me to link words to them, even phrases/mental pictures. Gough Whitlam is an excellent example. I cannot see or hear his name without thinking of that "Morning lump of phlegm" smokers sometimes cough up when they have brushed their teeth. Why?!

Fucking hell!! I had no idea you could engrave semen. At least the Chinese baby was rescued from the sewer, can anyone offer the same service to LFN's mind? Im merely responding in the most blunt, crass and shitiest way possible to the kind of posting that belongs on mumsnet. Maybe its about time that "David" registers with a new or second account ( assuming that he/she is an existing member who is pulling the piss ) or fucks off into the beyond. Maybe people were right, we should ban guest posters. Not feeling your usual loving, giving self tonight then Blowy? No, fuck off.

I did summat similar recently Spade, though I extended it to the likes of Charles Manson and gave pride of place to the Black Metal wars in Norway in which one singer murdered the singer in a rival band. Mary, you may know the answer to this. I read, a long way back, that Marvin Gaye had been in the frame for murdering a singer? I cant remember her name but I could have sworn it was somebody he had sung with and Im fairly certain that the whispers were that he had bashed her head in with a hammer. Am I imagining this?

Fucking hell!! I had no idea you could engrave semen. At least the Chinese baby was rescued from the sewer, can anyone offer the same service to LFN's mind? Im merely responding in the most blunt, crass and shitiest way possible to the kind of posting that belongs on mumsnet. Maybe its about time that "David" registers with a new or second account ( assuming that he/she is an existing member who is pulling the piss ) or fucks off into the beyond. Maybe people were right, we should ban guest posters.

Fucking hell!! I had no idea you could engrave semen.

Never mind all that cobblers. Does she spit or swallow?

You may as well have written that out in Mandarin, I have absolutely no idea what you are on about C.A. It, sort of, sounds very clever and intelligent.......in a geeky kind of way.

You sound like the type of chap who is a literalist, best you avoid novels then and stick to non-fiction. He is actually one of the nicest people could could ever wish to meet. So, he's a nice literalist. What has that to do with anything? Fuck all.

You sound like the type of chap who is a literalist, best you avoid novels then and stick to non-fiction. He is actually one of the nicest people could could ever wish to meet.