Lord Fellatio Nelson

What about 'all right'/'alright'? You are thinking of Michael Barrymore Lardy. Its "Awight?" "You awight?" and such like. Perhaps if the c**t had asked Stuart Lubbock that, all them years ago at his party,that young man could have replied " No, Im fucking drowning ( allegedly) get me out!!" Alas, It wasnt to be and the rest is history. He actually replied 'No I'm fucking drowning with a broom handle stuck up my arse'. Get your facts right before posting such scurrilous accusations Thats a fair point Lardy. In view of that, there was no excuse for not fishing him out, they already had a handle to pull him out with.

....and a backed up arsehole that cant go till the plumber has been. Well at least there is enough scrub land out their to dig a latrine, just in case you really cant hang on.

What about 'all right'/'alright'? You are thinking of Michael Barrymore Lardy. Its "Awight?" "You awight?" and such like. Perhaps if the c**t had asked Stuart Lubbock that, all them years ago at his party,that young man could have replied " No, Im fucking drowning ( allegedly) get me out!!" Alas, It wasnt to be and the rest is history.

Quality stuff PB. If you can dig out one featuring a 92 year old mother in law riding a Cocker Spaniel you will have hit the jackpot.

Im sure it was. Good idea to make it so again, we dont want it floating around in the sea of shite or summat.

I just wonder how two women, in a relationship, deal with PMT. Its not like "Oh well men never understand" and "You dont have to go through what we do" bollocks. Do they have to think up other reasons for being a complete bastard when that time of da mumff comes?

Dear Carol Ann Move her to Texas. Problem solved. Yours Abby LFN. PS: I like Cocker Spaniels coz I had one once. PPS: I didnt even make a joke about "having a stroke.."

I think you dodged a bullet there ..... Too right, men are still cunts today! I've decided that being a lesbian is probably way easier. I want to be a lesbian, Ive got the short hair...................

Whoever is currently suffering from long term ill health, like Michael Winner did, looks gaunt, pasty and generally fucked, like Michael Winner did and is, probably, well on their way to becoming an Octogenarian or older, like Michael Winner was. Thats who Im going for.

Says it all, doesnt it, the false indignation brigade. Are you not on Twatter Lardy? Is there no way of going on it and telling the offended fucktards that they are, erm, fucktards? Agreed, post of the year, so far, and will be VERY hard to beat!!!

Are you saying that current presenters are less authorative, less respected, less trusted and lack gravitas or summat? If you are, I think you are right.

Well for some reason I cant see the pic. If you are not ou fait with current UK news then, Im guessing, its not a picture of a horse shoved between a Burger bap.

No problem and if you are really lucky I will throw in a couple of 'there's been a murder' for you . I get that quoted to me everywhere I go and I have not yet met anyone that can mimic it perfectly, many friends try, some are good, some are passable but most, downright laughable. Accents are funny things and the Glasgow one is one of the hardest to mimic. Cool!!!! .....and if you are going to add the Taggart line................. LG, just make sure you don't get him so worked up he has the big one! No chance of that, I'll wager The owner may be a bit past their prime but his poker can still keep the fires burning!

No problem and if you are really lucky I will throw in a couple of 'there's been a murder' for you . I get that quoted to me everywhere I go and I have not yet met anyone that can mimic it perfectly, many friends try, some are good, some are passable but most, downright laughable. Accents are funny things and the Glasgow one is one of the hardest to mimic. Cool!!!! .....and if you are going to add the Taggart line................. LG, just make sure you don't get him so worked up he has the big one! I dont get worked up no more CA, Im getting on and ive forgotten.

You mean you watched the documentary about the documentary he presented in 1963 about the terrible winter of 63 which formed part of a documentary ....or summat. Confused? You soon will be. If it hadnt been in black and white we would have thought they were on about now, we still cant fuggin cope 50 years later!

No problem and if you are really lucky I will throw in a couple of 'there's been a murder' for you . I get that quoted to me everywhere I go and I have not yet met anyone that can mimic it perfectly, many friends try, some are good, some are passable but most, downright laughable. Accents are funny things and the Glasgow one is one of the hardest to mimic. Cool!!!! .....and if you are going to add the Taggart line.................

I had a strange dream last night. I can vaguely remember looking at a small article in a national about the forum, its picks and point scored. It sort of pertained to the success of the forum in predicting celebrity deaths. That alone would make it just a dream, however, I woke up this morning with the idea of putting a post on here asking if anybody had seen and read said article.... That makes me a complete cockwhisk then....

I take it they all phoned in saying " I cant get into work!!!!" Id sack the lazy fuckers.

Thats.......... A R S E Ok CA?

I would imagine that going to watch him live would be like getting tickets to go and watch Olga Korbutt doing things on a beam at Wembley arena. She wouldnt be as supple as she was, she would probably be pretty shit at Gymnastics per se actually and it would be painful to watch a legend way, way past her prime. You would then lie through your arse to everybody about how brilliant she was.

Ive no idea what anybody is on about BUT I reread this whole thread and it was pretty damn good!

The last one I went to I got LG to indulge me by saying "Wee Burney" a few times!! Such has been the everlasting memory Id be tempted to attend this years one If I were to be indulged once more.

You are one hard bastard Lardy. Its giving me the 'orn....

Well it was -12 here this morning as I went to work and it barely changed all day. Infact, apart from 2 years ago when i did a night job and travelled home when it was -17, I cannot remember spending a whole fucking day outside, working my nads off and feeling so desperately cold. I dont wanna do it anymore.

Well little Alan wont have died in vain. He has the perfect body for a door draught excluder, bless him.