Lord Fellatio Nelson

So, is he dead yet? Hey, thats MY f'ucking question!!

At the risk of getting my nuts chewed I would say that if anybody was going to organize it, it would really need to be in Londinium again. Logistically, its pretty straightforward to get to from almost anywhere and the tube will take you wherever you want to go and quickly. If anybody is interested I would suggest, perhaps, the pub that has been used before ( nice and central ) and that they only need PM to get the details and a date . You are right LG, its a thankless task....but worth it coz its a bloody good piss up.

I have to say that I miss the old twat. Fings really aint wot they used to be. PS: Whatever happened to The Pooka? He was a class act.

I got very used to cleaning up the giblets when my beloved cat chose to express her cat nature and leave us tokens of her love. She died, suddenly and unexpectedly in May. But we've just agreed to take a mother and newborn from Cats Protection. Bring on the vomit and giblets! My friend's cats only ever vomit on his windowsill, so when he comes down in the morning and opens up the curtains he is met with a sicky surprise. I'm not really a big cat fan. I think Frankie Boyle (who I've got tickets to see in April, fact fans) got it right the other night, when in response to the answer '50 nights' he said the question was 'how long would you have to be laying dead in your flat before your cat gave a sh'it'. Most amusing Please, please, I'm begging, how the f'uck do you nteach a cat that? In fact anything other than puking just where youyr feet will stuymble in the dark. The cold oozing feeling of cat sick between the toes is getting too familiar. The bits are worse! Simple really. Chain the f'ucker somewhere where it can puke till its hearts content. Make sure said chain has a length no longer than its body......you get the gist?

Im tempted to say "WRONG!" but I cant. You make me smile Mary. Thanks!!

Did anybody hear Steve Wrights utterly pathetic interview of Katie Price today on Radio2? I tell you what, if his tongue had been any further up her a'rsehole he would have been licking her tonsils. Is that what we pay our Licence fees for?!!! Yours Angry of Norfolk

Classic? That was as funny as fook!!!!

Ice Cream Vans. Saw one today, now I cant stop "Popeye the f'ucking Sailor man" going round and round in my head!

Cant believe this! Yesterday, while posting, I had them on the Tube............ Not psychic are you Mary?

I like the logic behind that...you must share the secrets of your 'what if' machine with the wider DL community... It wasn't so much "what if" argument - I was really just wanting to know how you feel you can make such a comparison when the man in question is in a completely different boat from Ramsay, Oliver, Heston, Fearnley-Whittingshall etc. I'll give you one thing Windsor.. Floyd did indeed have a very apathetic attitude on TV and yes that's what made him entertaining - particularly in clips like but my original point was I don't see how anybody can take such an attitude to their life in general... and now he's paying the price... I really don't think I've said anything bad but I seem to have stirred a lot of controversy on a website that flipping guesses when people die. Your original point was the bone of contention. How YOU perceive life isnt neccessarily how others see it, certainly not Keith Floyd. His attitude has, probably, been to drink lots, smoke lots, take little exercise and shag lots of women. Why compromise if you are enjoying yourself so much? If he cut out the ciggies, drank the recommended amount of units and walked more, he may well have been able to put another 10 years on his life expectancy. Is that all its about? Is life really a competition to see how long we can all live for? It is easy peasy to be judgemental, the moral highground is full of citizens looking out to a sea of human trash, tutting away to their live fast and die young attitude. I know I would be rather swimming in the sea with Keith Floyd than standing on the shore with you. That, Sir, would be my right to choose how I wish to live my life. Who is anybody to judge Keith Floyds excesses?

Yay!! Now that takes me back. I would be a liar if I didnt confess to getting that one up on the tube now and again.

You mean to say they have actually found Shergar?!

Well Ive always been a total twunt Mary. I suppose its time to mark it officially, like

Cheers for that 'arry, great songs on there. I love glam rock, much to the amusement of many people I have met that were teenagers in the early '70s. I remember one girl telling me most of them thought it a joke at the time, I don't remember it that way, mind you I didn't hit my teens until 1980. Anyway a little bit of Kenny for the uninitiated. I really loved that song, I can even remember ancient old aunties up on the dance floor at family weddings doing 'The Bump', if only we'd had video cameras back then. I always thought it odd that 'get them on the dancefloor interactive stuff like The Slosh (is that a Scottish thing only?) and The Locomotion have survived for years but The Bump died out. .......and i thought you had excellent taste. Im crushed

Sometimes people say the most stupid f'ucking things! Disrespect for life? Whos life? His! That man has drank too much, smoked too much, lost a fortune, made a fortune, lost it again and did some cooking. If he only lives to 66, so be it. Is it not better to live to 66 having filled that life with pleasures, whatever they may be, and enjoyed the adrenalin of life rather than live to 88 having had life bore the tits off of you? Trashed body or not, he has probably had more fun than most of us will ever have. Good luck to him, the only man that I actually enjoyed watching cook. Nobody cooks like Floyd, no f'ucker can hold a candle to him.....incase the alcohol fumes ignite. Cremation seems an unlikely choice then He's just the same as all TV chefs... don't reely see any difference TBH but if you insist then please do explain to me what it is about his cooking that makes him so unique from the rest? I will tell you what makes him unique from the rest, as Winny has said, he doesnt give a sh*t. Nothing to promote, he isnt sanctimonious, gets pissed while he cooks, measures f'uck all of his ingredients and just throws it all in and, most importantly, he gives you the impression that its JUST COOKING! Its not brain surgery, life or death or art, just cooking. Ramsey, John Burton Race, Mockney w*nker and the Ginger Twat are poles apart from him. Good enough for you?

Im sooooo glad you got it Lardy. I knew you would!!

I think that truly f'ucks the argument for healthy living right up the arse.

Tractor eating? I thought he was busy building an Armageddon shelter...........

I did actually consider getting this Album, God help me. Im far too nostalgic.

Sometimes people say the most stupid f'ucking things! Disrespect for life? Whos life? His! That man has drank too much, smoked too much, lost a fortune, made a fortune, lost it again and did some cooking. If he only lives to 66, so be it. Is it not better to live to 66 having filled that life with pleasures, whatever they may be, and enjoyed the adrenalin of life rather than live to 88 having had life bore the tits off of you? Trashed body or not, he has probably had more fun than most of us will ever have. Good luck to him, the only man that I actually enjoyed watching cook. Nobody cooks like Floyd, no f'ucker can hold a candle to him.....incase the alcohol fumes ignite. Cremation seems an unlikely choice then

Considering that he was a fat fooker before he went all comatose on us, could anybody speculate as to whether he still is? Would a prolonged sleep eat away at the body fat? Is he now Kate Mossesque, Kate Mossad or so thin his dick is as thick as a well sharpened pencil? Just wondering.

Admit it, you grow sheep and shag cabbages. Ok, I do. What else is there to do up here?

If we have a swear filter why cant we have a "Stupid Prick" filter? It makes no sense at all.

Oh, trust me on this one, the new postings are not better than the old ones. Generally, and speaking as somebody who posts his fair share of sh*te, much of the new is utter w'ank. You are obviously young(ish) English, poorly educated and a c*nt. Pretty typical of the rubbish that calls this sh*t hole of a Country "home". If you do happen to be one of our regulars posting under another name to stir things up.........W'anker! who the fcuk do you think you are to critisize anyone? bet your just a follower.im neither a c**t a wa**er or poorly educated.and best of all im not fcuking ENGLISH.and even better than that,im not a fcuking cabbage grower from norfolk.take sometime and sort ur s**t out. Yee ha!!! We have a live one here!! Who the f'uck do I think I am? Somebody that isnt as thick as you are. Havent you got spell check? I follow no f'ucker, Ive done it all by myself. I shall be here long after you have pissed off to go and colour in your picture books. If you are not poorly educated, you are making a brilliant stab at sounding like you are. Not English? Hmmm, maybe you are just a thick bastard from another English speaking nation, perhaps you might even be another unwelcome foreigner to our shores, either way, you are a twat. You cannot deny it, your posts suggest you are a first class one. I dont grow cabbages, I dont even shag sheep. Do you? Please crayon back soon, you amuse me.