Lord Fellatio Nelson

This is so far over my head it may as well be the f*****g Red Arrows. Computers are for using both my fingers to hit the keys as hard as necessary to make something happen on the screen. The lines that supply computers are a different matter, that Im good at, the rest, shite. SC, you are nothing but a dirty whore!

Well, I must protest!! Im sure I have never had sex with you, your brain is too small.

I dunno... I've been thinking about this. And I've studied the video. A bit. Quite a lot actually. In fact it's taken me ten days, wrist sprain and several stern warnings from Mrs BHB, but I have to say that I have reached a conclusion. Many people have criticised her costume and suggested she's overweight, but I have to say that I still find her totally doable.* Cheers, BHB *verb. Meaning to fancy in a rumpy-pumpy sort of way. Origins, probably, one of the Bronte sisters- source- The Pooka in the Dicky O' thread. I happen to agree with you, she is quite er...... God help me!

Me too. It may be fun to meet some of you loafers. Does this mean that the chances of having "Mr Cool" ( HarryMac asides) come pay us a flying visit, is a distinct possibility? Will The Pooka really attend? I hope so.

Occy, old chap, you a probably right, tis a forlorn hope! I do have this little dream that Iain and Dave are in fact very thick twins, we are talking utter cretins, who I could, er, "Kill two birds with one stone" as it were. I never wish ill will on anybody but i wish the pox, septic boils and piles the size of Elephant turds on Iain/Dave. God, I HATE him/them!!

That makes him an ideal candidate then. You have to have at least one "Wild Card" to make things more interesting. There is enough slack within the picks process to have some youngsters, wild cards as well as the usual band of coffin dodgers.

I dont suppose, if I ask you really, really nicely, you could go and ride a Motorbike, at an indecent speed, really, really fast, with no crash helmet on? If you do, let us know what road you will be on and, approximately, what time so I can pull out right into your path in my car. Hey, I will lose my no claims bonus, then again I will lose you too. Result!

I hear your cries fellatio, but most of the posts above carry a link that shows his health/ill health/live forever/about to pop stories that are in the newspapers. We'll discuss this in the local and get back to you. Thanks for listening HCW, its appreciated.

I find it incredible that I, as others,can have posts removed for reasons of WTF, yet moderators are quite happy to let this flacid, crappy, dogshite thread trundle on courtesy of Dave ( who I would happily shake violently by the throat) and "guests". Isnt it about time an executive decision was made to lock it? In other words "DO SOMETHING!"

I hate to break this to you, but there are probably more Jews and their descendants living in France than there are White Supremists living in the State of New York. God, Madame, I dont half like you!!

So WTF has being a "French Jew" got to do with it? Twat!

Sorry to be 10 months late, but is what you're after? Even Mark King would be impressed with that slaptastic bass solo. Harry, you are a top fella but, blimey, you digging that out could have been accompanied by copious amounts of barrels being scraped. VSB from H, did you leave the ward much in the 80s? Anyway, everbody knows that the Woodentops were the true arse kicking kids programme of the 60s...and of course Mary, Mungo and Midge. PS: How is Richard Baker these days?

Look man, take a chill pill. I've just decided that I'm way too good to be argueing with you. I'm seriously so above giving in to your mockery that your like dirty flowing water, and I'm a private jet on it's way to the Bahamas. .......................... So the shows over, stop trying to make arguments with other people. If you need counseling I advise it three times a week from 3 PM - 5. I mean obviously you are the individual who is starting quarrels, and this proves it. Be positive. Drink some coffee, I drink coffee when I need a mood transition. Go out for a walk. I mean Fellatio Nelson seriously I feel you are in a need to start quarrels with other people and I'm not going to fulfill your craving. No way. If you want to be a gentleman and talk about some issues I would really be happy to discuss it, if not please keep your silence. I think you are confusing piss taking with fight picking. "Other people" are you and Dave/Iain/ George/Julia ( If anybody is old enough to remember Him/Her) If you are way too good to be arguing with me, I take it you wont mind me continuing to take the piss out of you. Many thanks!! LFN

......and still they cant shake you off BS. My, you really are like a fly round a Cows arsehole arent you!

is that when theyve booked the funeral for? just sticking him in the freezer till then... How about you go and stick your nuts in a freezer Dave? I doubt that I have ever read such a pointless, yawn inducing and f*****g pointless thread perpetuated by your cretinous observations. You probably post as a guest on this thread just to give yourself someone to talk to. Now, may I politely ask you to shut the f**k up and let the thread die somewhat sooner than Castro GTX. Thank you.

...or even "makes your whites whiter". Which is as hysterically funny as your sublime gem BS.

As I got stinking drunk on Friday night and struggled in vain to remain sensible, see what i was typing and remain inoffensive and coherant,I would like to humbly appologise to anybody who I offended, angered or bemused. Thank you PS: All of the above does not apply to BS and probably SC ( who is always badly behaved anyway)

Thank for posting. I'm quite partial to a bit of Bolan myself. I'd like to put HMV in room 101 for having their foreign language section and adult film section together. I always feel as if people are thinking I'm a pervert and all I'm doing is seeing if The Commissar is available. Quite how ANYBODY could possibly think that you were a perv is quite beyond me H!!

Wasnt that tosser BS by any chance?

I'm sure the nurses told you the rules about sharp objects... we're told the same at work, that's why they don't allow us to have any paper So exactly how do you wipe your arse?

Vey nice but , I think, the thread only required a basic summary not a bollocks to the forehead novel.

The Portugese Police are a shambolic pile of sh*t. Even so, they have questions that need answering like " WTF is your daughters DNA doing in a hire car hired 25 days after she went missing." "Why did you wash her cuddly toy?" "Why wait so long to hire a car in the first place, you hire one and a day or two later you are off to see the Pope,why did you need to hire a car?" The McCanns are made chief suspects in their own daughters murder/accidental death. They decide to fly back the day after becoming official suspects. After all of these months,they pick THAT day to come back. Bollocks.

I take it that it is still all systems go. I shall attend. Id like to propose that, instead of formal introductions, we should play the " Who the f**k are you then?" game. This will necessitate having to down at least one Pint or short, in one go, if we guess each others identity incorrectly. As a major object of the meet is to get pissed, it would be prudent to ensure that we are all piss poor at guessing.

dave open up to us. Are you on medication for some disabilities? I mean people get aggravated with you for being slow and for having grammar casualties and for 'of course' posting imminent deaths which are anything but imminent ... So what is the deal with you. I've heard people comment that they feel you might have cerebral palsy and everybody would like some closure on your situation. Be honest with us. Are you disabled? We want to know your story I think if your honest about yourself people might have complete respect for you. If your in a wheel chair 'god bless my mind' in that case... . we'll un-ban your former identity. Pots and Kettles BS, Pots and Kettles.

Dead, and even uglier, now LFN.... Yikes, my timing is shite. Mind you it was better than hers.