Boudicca

As has been said, no wonder he has a bad back

Happily, though, he is on this year's list.

Thanks for putting me straight on that, guesty

Guilty of noncing Jordy Chandler, certainly. I'm not too sure about whether he fiddled with Gavin, though. The Arvizo's are such dodgy characters... Perhaps the whole trial is just a publicity exercise designed to clear Michael's name. If he's found to be innocent, could he not sue the state of California? And what about double jeopardy? If he's released, he could continue to molest children without fear of retribution

Reminds me of the Hell's Grannies sketch..

I caught the end of that documentary. That's a pretty flattering picture of Max Carlish

That doesn't necessarily mean that Mr Culkin would like the world to know that Michael Jackson fiddled with him. As for making him godfather to his kids, does this mean he lets them sleep with Michael, or just that they receive a hefty cheque on their birthdays?

We're so glad you don't feel the need to apologise, Mr Marcus. Using the singular form of address instead of the plural is a commonly made mistake. As is repetition of adjectives.

Didn't he nearly drown during the making of the "Wild Boys" video? Talk about tempting fate.

Best news I've heard all day! It couldn't happen to a nicer bloke

..as long as he's wrapped in a blanket..

Congratulations! This forum gets more surreal every day, I swear..

Psalm 35 ? Psalm 39 seems much more appropriate. Perhaps Michael was using the vaseline as a precaution against sinning with his tongue

Sir Peter Maxwell sums it up quite nicely. Relative of yours, Simon?

I love this forum. One hears from the most interesting people. What the hell is wrong with clickable smilies? Perhaps # thought these had homo-erotic connotations?

I'm still waiting to hear from the residents of Ohio...

Janet Arvizo's testimony for the prosecution has certainly helped the defence. I bet Sneddon et al couldn't wait for her to get off the stand!

Perhaps he's saying that if Mr Jackson is found to be innocent, his detractors will subsequently be accused of the same offence, in some bizarre karmic scenario. I'd better get my neighbour's kids out of my bed, just to be on the safe side!

While we're on the subject... They are seeking to call Kassim Abdool, a former Neverland security guard, to give testimony about a request by Jackson for some vaseline. Seemingly Abdool can testify that he brought the "sweaty" and "aroused" Jackson a jar of vaseline, while he was in his bedroom with Jordie Chandler one evening. From Ken Frost.

Did you? Sorry. Must have missed that.

I don't know. Maybe I'd advise you to get a spellchecker...

Hair and make-up courtesy of Photoshop..

So that's one more British tradition down the drain, then?