Boudicca

The local church here locks everyone in it during Mass "for security". Seriously. Then it thanks everyone in the eighties fanzine newsletter for keeping all the parishioners safe. For not shooting up their own congregation presumably. What if there was a fire or building collapse? You'd be screwed, but god forbid Americans can't have guns

This "butter" rebrand presumably intended for diplomacy was an abject fail. Some cunto actually signed off on this. "Sure, keep all the land but erase the people" How very USian.

Great thread. The rant he eventually goes on during this clip really encapsulates it for me, and @Lord Fellatio Nelson I agree, the U.K is not perfect but we aren't subjected to the insane levels of brainwashing that USains are.

If "Yes Sir, I can Boogie" remains Scotland's unofficial National Anthem, this really should be the one the colonies use. It's perfect for them. They don't even need lyrics, words would just confuse them anyways. Tremendous choreography.

It isn't even that. It's just a layover, but if it has to be a social occasion I'd want you and the others to hold my hand and tell me I'm insane before I get on a plane to Detroit is all. And @En Passant Banshees Scream rocking up would be awesome actually.

Quick Google says it's drink related. I live within walking distance to the Dalmore and drink the water that makes it. I wouldn't mind meeting up with you tbh, you are nice. It's just Zorders is likely to turn up instead and that would be awkward.

@Lord Fellatio NelsonOh Christ don't you start complicating things now and leading me astray. We will be sedately going to the Anne Frank House and Van Gogh museum and won't be anywhere near anywhere that bad decisions will be made that might go viral. This also goes for @harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy because he's a bad man too

Actually please don't unless you're Hein, Quim or Lady Grendel. I have enough to worry about, totalling bikes, falling into canals, barred from the red light district, then refused boarding without thinking that fucking Deathray or someone is going to turn up as well. Cheers.

That's me double-dosed with the Astra Zippity immortality juice as SC calls it. Americans seriously think it's a shan vaccine and I have my visa for the U.S too. My arm is dead though and that's my hurling arm! What if I have to defend Alness against Invergordan before I leave Scotland. Okay "shinty" it's the same thing. Hockey crossed with murder.

CreepLab sounds sinister as fuck and that logo isn't helping. It looks like the sort of place that they reanimate corpses in. University Presidents perhaps.

I moved to halfway up a mountain where my phone was regularly smashed to fuck and the shite / non-existent reception was even worse than that so I hear you sister, r.e signal troubles. Sucks.

I've heard of people getting pinged by it while separated by actual rooms. So fuck that. Are we all just going to ignore Bentrovano saying he's the last man on the entire planet that's only contactable on a landline? Because I'm a bit bored waiting for the football so if we've nothing better to do ... We're going to let this go are we?

Wait you didn't spent the entire year pretending you didn't own a phone like we all did in Scotland dodging Track and Trace like fuck? You are perfectly correct r.e the age gap. I'm not sure why my adopted countrymen chose to identify themselves as these fine individuals but that's just my experience. If they were Deathlisters they wouldn't have made such a faux pas getting their serial killers mixed up like that

Anyone else going to miss seeing that apparently Fred West and Harold Shipman have just been in for a pint before us?

I really really absolutely STUPIDLY went to London on an airplane and now I'm breathless. That's quite apart from the hotel fire alarm blaring when I had a fairly serious meeting the next day and spending two hours in the fucking car park in the rain with a silver foil cape and mask after midnight like a Pound Shop superhero. My hotel review is going to be epic.** Anyways. I'm poorly and you should all be feeling really sorry for me and Mudhoney needs invoking. **When I say epic I mean it will be totally fucking blistering. There were actual real airline pilots staying there. It's really quite important they get their sleep surely? Men flying planes having their night disturbed! Might go almost Deathray level even. And aye I obviously made sure they weren't flying me back to Inverness the next day.