Spade_Cooley

Dead.

How's that? He sounded pissed as a skunk, looked like he'd been homeless for two years, and his post-match interview went something like "darts is the only thing I've ever been good at in my life, I've failed at everything else, this is all I have". I know he had some personal issues after his Ally Pally final which meant his career never kicked on, but this was next level. In other darts possibility news from the Open, Ted Hankey reported that he has an all-new healthy lifestyle, and "isn't smoking as much".

Don't think she'll make the start line for 2014. Why does she have a kind of Scottish schoolmarm accent if she's from Seattle?

Dunno if anyone was watching the UK Open, but fucking hell, Kirk Shepherd has "suicide risk" written all over him.

John Major's dad was born in 1879.

I'm sorry, can I just...

Mentioned elsewhere but we should probably have it in the more appropriate thread, Paris Jackson, the "daughter" of Michael and the one who was meant to carry his proud aryan name forward, is hospitalised after a suicide attempt. Paris is burning.

Asa Briggs, who has never been one to turn down the offer of an extra slice of lard, is 92 now. Are there any other big name scalebusters over 90?

Gregory Coleman (the Amen Break) and George "Buzzy" Bragg ("It's A New Day" by Skull Snaps) both died in the mid-2000s. The problem with a lot of these legendary breaks is that they were played by session musicians who then vanished off the face of the earth. For instance, "The Big Beat" (as sampled, most notably, in "Ain't No Half Stepping" and "Fix Up Look Sharp") was drummed on by a guy called Bucky Ballard, who appears nowhere on the internet except in the listings for that one Billy Squire album. Well, except this obituary of someone who might possibly be his dad.

If Jones doesn't get a Guardian obit I'd be stunned. Every time the Dap Kings drop another entry-level retro soul joint it gets jizzed up by places like The Guardian and the late, unlamented Word Magazine.

Layla's the last track on the list. He's still locked up, as this delightful Californian Prison Service search engine will tell you: Being as he played the drums on "Apache" by the the Incredible Bongo Band, he may be the second most-sampled musician of all time, just behind perennial deathlist possibility Clyde Stubblefield.

The girl in question was his daughter, who worked as Zumhofe's manager for a while under the ringname "The Virgin". Zumhofe also promoted midget wrestling.

One for those of us old enough to remember the mass panic about "The Nine O'Clock Service".

Can't help you there, sorry. Anyway, here's a completely unrelated news story from 2011: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2015573/Rebekah-Brooks-vetoed-BBC-man-told-Cameron-No10-job-Andy-Coulson.html

Although that article has reminded me of how crap D Boon's method of death was. Are him and your man from Metallica the only musicians killed by flying out of a van while asleep?

I think the (lol) "rules" of the 27 Club have to be specific to music. Of course it all stems from the fact that Robert Johnson is the most entry level musician in the history of mankind, then you have the glut of late 60s/early 70s corpses topped up with Cobain and Winehouse. The Fortean Times has a decent article on it here. Of course then you get the musicians who died at 27 but aren't really famous other than the fact that they died at 27, like Freaky Tah or that one riot grrrl that got the arse raped off her then murdered. Anyway, nutjob permanently-coked-off-her-tits enemy of Somali gangsters Joss Stone turns 27 next year, and it's not as if she's of any use to anyone alive.

The Temptations managed to fit more sex pests, woman beaters, junkies and general sociopaths into their ranks than pretty much any other band.

I can't remember if I mentioned this before on here, but in a moment of boredom I put together a Spotify playlist solely of songs by musicians who'd murdered someone. Unsurprisingly it's nearly entirely blues, country and west coast hip-hop. They hang their heads and cry: a playlist of musicians who actually killed someone

Kind of stunned that Melvyn Hayes isn't dead, tbh.

Bobby Eaton's back "at death's door" according to the dirtsheets. Respirator, long-term hospitalised, the lot.

She was the star of "The Amanda Show" on TV (a kids' sketch show in the early 2000s) and she went on to have a career as the star of teen-orientated comedy movies ranging from the really corny ("What A Girl Wants") to the slightly corny ("She's The Man") to the OK but vastly overrated by the kinds of people who overrate every half-decent teen flick ("Easy A"). The latter two movies are rewrites of "Twelfth Night" and "The Scarlet Letter" respectively, high culture fans. Now she's just an absolute car wreck who mainly spends her time getting arrested and being spit-roasted by A-list rappers.

Amanda Bynes is fucking desperate to have her own thread on here, huh?

Our cousins over at The 110 Club have a few words about McCoubrey, apparently he's a "very private person" and there's been no coverage of him anywhere since his 110th birthday. I think that just means that he's basically a vegetable right now.

Great interview with the old lush here. Sounds pretty settled, so there's no chance of an imminent heart atack-ak-ak-ak-ak.

Toto drummer Jeff Porcaro died as a result of spraying his garden with insecticide while ripped to the tits on cocaine and the resulting chemical reaction. Country guitarist Merle Watson also died while gardening in a story too long/hilarious to summarise, so here it is C+Pd off another website: