Spade_Cooley

Metsu's cancer is so bad apparently the only camera that can take photos of him is a Nokia 3310.

Bob will be disappointed, Thelma will probably be secretly delighted though.

Aren't we still waiting for Marcia Strassman's stage IV breast cancer to pay dividends, three years later? I'm going long on Bernie.

Clock's ticking...

Not really surprising that a bootleg Left Eye carks it in exactly the same way, tbh

I can see the argument for Huff Post, but I don't like it. It's going to make "dying bride/mother who needs cancer medication/inspirational vlog recording dying teenager" obits a lot easier to get, which is the last thing the DDP needs. I'm gonna feel seedy enough making ol' dying Korean with religious parents broad my captain next year as it is, I don't need her accompanied by a supporting cast of similarly unfamous peeps.

Holly Willoughby is almost ubiquitous on TV at the moment. She is now touting herself as the new Cilla Black with the unwelcome resurrection of Surprise Surprise. Holly Willoughby is a bit of an enigma. She has one of those faces that screams beautiful or fucking hideous. Her looks matter not tho as, seemingly, if you are married to a TV producer and have big tits, you will get on in the cut and thrust World of television presenting. Indeed, my betrothed is often saying how much he'd like to finger her. But I agree with TMIB - Frankie Boyle, yes, but there's no way squeaky-clean Holly would do a show like this. OK OK There is not a shred of truth in this post but I kept being annoyed by the presence of HW on everyshow without any evidence of talent or charisma and began to think what I would like her to present. When I did get round to writing the post I did think she let the authenticity down but I could not think of a suitable replacement. I briefly thought of Peaches Geldof but considering what happened to her mother I thought it in poor taste. I hope it is to my credit that I cannot readily bring to mind talentless media hungry bimbos from the depths of ITV. I hope you at least enjoyed the thought and would really like to watch the show - in your imagination I'll have my agent keep her eyes peeled all the same.

Former Big Brother contestant Derek Laud as well.... And if we really want a perennial DDP favourite whose name may well be hitting the headlines, surely this is what'll take Jeremy Thorpe out of his wheelchair and into a pinewood box.

has not died... according to his family. His sister says he's dead, then changes her mind. Doubt he'll make the weekend tbh. Tossing his name out as "trainer Manny Steward" like he was just some low-tier schmuck is a bit weird, the man was Mr Kronk's Gym. Hearns, De La Hoya, Cotto, Chavez... this guy was behind the best of the past 30 years.

"Ahhhh, Mr Heath...."

Yep, discussing which African leaders and members of 1970s rock groups have terminal cancer is as morally repugnant as raping children, well spotted.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/horse-racing/19964043 Video interview. He doesn't look like he'll make it to Halloween, let alone 2013.

Bobby Eaton's back in hospital, from what I've heard.

Kate's Twitter has proven to be a treasure trove of health info. She's going in for an operation on the 25th to have the tumor taken out. She's very optimistic about everything, but she does have a slew of other issues that could complicate matters. Plus, it is lung cancer, which from what I know is not the best kind to be having. One to keep an eye on for me, and why not with such easy access? Could we set up a Twitter list of potential DDP candidates who are dying on social media? Sid Waddell's disappearance from Twitter was the final clue that the great man had reached 140 characters and I can't be the only one annoyed that @ryan_buell throws up no more information than "DVD boxsets coming soon please RT!" for a man many of us are pinning their 2013 hopes on.

Making it to 34 is a pretty impressive achievement for an IWA:MS wrestler, though.

I'm not sure it's necessary to get into this level of detail about one's masturbatory antics..... Did you know Emmanuelle was directed by Just Jaeckin*? He's also been responsible for Histoire d'O, Lady Chatterleys Lover and other adolescent masturbatory material erotic cinematic masterpieces. * Its probably not pronounced the way it looks And still, it doesn't seem to be a pseudonym. He was actually born with that name. Must have been in the stars that he was to end up in porn movies! Did you just hyperlink to the word "pseudonym"?

Children, Ted Heath... is there anyone Wilfred Brambell didn't have sex with?

Derek "Larry the Lamb" McCulloch looks like he'll be returning to the papers within the next few days, then...

If you want to watch someone enter endgame, my DDP captain this year, L!sa Lynch, is being very ominous on her Twitter account and has gone from light-hearted banter about reality TV to indications that she's spending more and more time at her hospice.

Tammy Lynn Sytch has now had five arrests in the past four weeks.

It hasn't even arrived in OoO's neck of the woods. New one on me too, but through the power of Google I have learned that shes quite big in the Daily Mail. And there was me thinking I wasn't giving away any trade secrets. Damn.

Chopper Read has collapsed and has been unable to make a media appearance to promote his final appearance on film, or perhaps he's perfectly healthy and there is no film.

I knew the ex-girlfriend of one of Britain's leading "cult" (read: not on TV because he doesn't make the effort) comedians. Apparently he's really, really into rimming, which considering the state of his beard, leaves me slightly worried. It's not Jethro, btw.

Well that's the thing, if it happened while she was on TV in the early 80s, it'd have to be "Number 73". And the only "well known" person on that show, other than Toksvig, is Neil Buchanan. You really ready for a world in which he's a sex pest?

Really? What's the damage on that one then? Just google "kevin keegan motorway lay-by baseball bat attack"