Spade_Cooley

Justin Bieber's bodyguard, Kenny Hamilton, has gone into hospital for "unspecified surgery" and has announced some time away from his job to "handle some things". This is currently the most discussed thing on Twitter. The internet, ladies and gentlemen.

Arfa Karim. The youngest ever Microsoft Certified Professional aged 9, dead at 16.

Paula Deen has type 2 diabetes. I'm certainly stunned.

I can't be bothered to google for "facepalm" right now, so just imagine there's one here.

His latest MRI is scheduled for tomorrow I can't see him lasting past March. A Gary Carter pick was always about "will he get a UK obit?" rather than "will he cark it?" though. I risked my arm and said yes. I've been wrong about this shit before.

Former Labour MP for Stockton North Frank Cook has died of lung cancer aged 76. He was responsible for possibly my favourite moment of the expenses scandal, an attempt to claim back £5 he had put in a collection plate during a memorial service for the Battle of Britain.

...

Former British welterweight champion and one-time world title contender Brian Curvis is dead at 75. He lost a points decision to Emile Griffith in his crack at the WBA/WBC gold, which reminds me I should probably check how Emile's getting on in his rest home nowadays.

I think Sagor Maas will, but it's gonna be one of those "six weeks after the actual death, obit writer at The Telegraph has half a page they need to fill" jobbies.

You were saying?

mfw 357 points for Malam Bacai Sanha's death.

France 1 reporting that he's died. That's gonna be the first points of the year for a lot of the DDP hopefuls in 2012. EDIT:http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-16473457 And here's your BBC obit.

Of course, nobody here hopes that this is the first incident in a long series of self-destructive behaviour that ends with his suicide, but Anthony Worrall-Thompson has been arrested for stealing cheese.

Now then, now then...

Having sex with children is bad, imho.

Margot Hielscher, who everyone will remember finished fourth in 1957 with "Telefon Telefon", turns 93 this year on September 19. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDWfe-4JcYc

Well, there's my vote.

I know the death of Hall of Fame Ten Pin Bowling superstar Don Carter at the age of 85 from pneumonia wouldn't normally warrant mention on these pages, but internets keeps telling me that he was the first athlete to ever sign a $1million endorsement deal. That can't be right, can it?

We already had "She'd rather go blind"

I think it's very, very likely that the MVP of the DeathList forums, deathstar, will die a tragic death within the next 12 months. For one man to have his finger so firmly on the pulse of who is going to die in any given calendar year suggests a man who either has dealings in the world of organised crime or, as I firmly suspect, has constructed some sort of hideous deal with the devil that can only result in a gory end. Look at the evidence: deathstar knew that we should have picked Bob Holness this year rather than Dick Van Dyke because he had a stroke six years ago deathstar knew that we should have picked the still-actively working Betty Driver because she was going to develop pneumonia in the middle of 2010. As deathstar rightly says, "what was the compiler thinking?" deathstar quite rightly said "what is going on" at the start of 2011 because those surefire 2K11 cadavers Eric Sykes, Bruce Forsythe, Betty Whire and Leslie Philipps weren't picked for the list. I've not checked the news but I believe those four all died on January 1, 2011. deathstar has twice predicted the imminent death of squeaky-clean 18-year-old stage managed Christian pop star Justin Bieber from a drug overdose, and only someone who has studied the form of deadpooling so specifically could make such a grand statement. I certainly back him. Therefore, the DL compilers are absolute fools for not picking a man so clearly in tune with the supernatural and satanic forces as deathstar for the 2012 list, and I hereby issue a vote of no confidence in them.

Six days after he left my team. What a selfish cunt.

Are we to presume that one of or both of Ivy Shermer and Olive Tucker, former DDP picks, have died since 2007, when they were featured in the papers? They were both born in 1909 as well? Probably they are dead like Trudi Endersby, but no-one has reported it, and now they've scrapped online death records, it's hard to check. Its a good job I didn't contact Guiness then. I've had a look thorough online obituaries but I can't see any mention of them there. Ena Pugh and Lily Millward are now staking their claim as being the world's oldest twins, both hitting 102 the other day.

Go for a trip with Barack Obama

Nick Cannon hospitalised with "kidney failure", which the black gossip sphere has deciphered to mean he's slowly dying from ingesting large amounts of steroids in an attempt to intimidate Eminem.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/80023363/dinosaur-costume-for-hamster-syrian?ref=sr_gallery_4&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=hamster&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=GB&ga_page=2&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade Not really sure what's happening here.