torbrexbones

Maurice Kenny, a poet who explored his Mohawk heritage in verse, often through the voices of historical figures in the forests and settlements of colonial New York State, died on April 16 in Saranac Lake, N.Y. He was 86.

Adel - She just found out that she is not thought as highly as she thought she should be, no nominations from her peers at the Ivor Novello awards.

Michelle Obama - she did a little dance and suddenly she is a hero, I don't think so

Mrs Tom Jones has died of cancer Lady Melinda Rose Woodward - known as Linda died after a "short but fierce battle with cancer"

Bang on queue, say hellooooo to the Archbishop of Canterbury, daddy was Churchill's secretary http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/dna-test-reveals-archbishop-justin-welby-is-illegitimate-son-of-sir-winston-churchills-private-a6975936.html So he is a Bastard after all

Rachel Johnson, last surviving resident of St Kilda has died, she was born on the main island of Hirta in July 1922 and was eight years old when she, her family and other islanders left the isle for the last time. BBC story

Read that three times now and still don't get it. He who laughs last had the joke explained to him.

That joke gets re-written every time a new character appears worthy of the title 'smartest man in the world'

Damn, I dropped him to make room for Jimmy Carter

I'm gonna say no. It probably makes him more likely to be named the next Work and Pensions Secretary instead. The vacancy is now there.

Gone to the big top hat in the sky

How does your dog smell? Twice as well as yours. BBC link

Jimmy Nicol is still going at 76

I missed this completely, my first hit this year.

Woman held for Moscow child 'beheading' "According to preliminary information, the child's nanny, a citizen of one of the Central Asian states born in 1977, waited for the parents and elder child to leave the flat and then, for reasons not established, murdered the infant, set fire to the flat and left the scene," it added in the statement. Police sources told Russian news agencies that the victim had been decapitated and the head removed from the scene by the nanny.

A bit ironic that his hour long speech about nurturing the young people of the country to become the leaders of the future should be in a part of the country where the young are dying at the highest rate due to starvation and lack of basic amenities, they had to bring a train load of schoolkids in from outside the are so that the cameras would have something to film. They had $800,000 to spend on his birthday party but they are asking for $1.6 billion in aid due to the drought and the ruling party thinks there is nothing wrong with this.

Hillary Trump or Donald Clinton?

Top Worst Website Names.

An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness From God and this Christian Family." No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again all was quiet. Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets." The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared!

As if award shows on the TV were not bad enough, I wonder how John Boyega feels about being the 'token' black winner at the BAFTAs tonight. All credibility gone when people win by skin colour rather than talent.

1st March

A blind old cowboy one day wandered by mistake into an all-girl biker bar. Placing himself on a barstool, he ordered a shot of whiskey. After sitting there for a while, he shouted to the bartender: ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke buddy?’ The bar fell silent. After a moment, a deep husky woman’s voice next to him said: ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it’s only fair – given that you are blind – that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde woman with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer also has fair hair. 3. I’m a 6-foot tall blonde woman who weighs 175-pounds and has a black belt in karate. 4. The woman next to me is blonde professional weight lifter. 5. And the lady to your right is a blonde professional wrestler. Think about this seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?’ Considering this for a second, he shook his head and muttered to himself: ‘No, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.’

Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, carrying a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!' 'That's just silly', says Paddy, 'You must have a vase somewhere!'