Bibliogryphon

There have been reports over the past few days of a new Celeb talent show to be screened soon called SPLASH! in which Olympic poster boy Tom Daley will put celebrities through the mill in a diving competition. This leads me to have several thoughts. 1. Will Luis Suarez and Fernando Torres be taking part as they seem to be naturals in this area? 2. Celebrities will have to be carefully chosen - imagine seeing Chris Moyles in his Speedos! 3. Most importantly this has the potential to be a disaster of Late, Late Breakfast Show proportions. Maybe an alternative title could be "Tom Daley's Deadly Death Dive Show"

Maybe I wrote it wrong and it should have been 0104 Productions or even 01/04 Productions.

Tragic news. It should have been Coleen...then it should have worked its way throgh the rest of the presenters of loose women. This is where I was getting confused, when I read Bernie I thought Coleen. But they might just be a gestalt entity. I saw them once in summer season at Blackpool, second on the bill to Mike Yarwood.

Holly Willoughby is the one on the right!

No its in breach of my control order!

Here is the cover of the US tabloid that sparked the story: Just to update this story. She is now closer to death than when this was first published and we can reveal that both her parents......died! Buy black now while its still cheap.

I doubt she'll get one anyway, no ex-PM has since Churchill and she is too divisive a figure. Cameron would be pilloried by the Opposition, the public, not to mention the Lib Dems if he even contemplated it. Yes I suppose its ironic that she had more chance of one when Blair was PM than now with Cameron.

Holly Willoughby is almost ubiquitous on TV at the moment. She is now touting herself as the new Cilla Black with the unwelcome resurrection of Surprise Surprise. Holly Willoughby is a bit of an enigma. She has one of those faces that screams beautiful or fucking hideous. Her looks matter not tho as, seemingly, if you are married to a TV producer and have big tits, you will get on in the cut and thrust World of television presenting. Indeed, my betrothed is often saying how much he'd like to finger her. But I agree with TMIB - Frankie Boyle, yes, but there's no way squeaky-clean Holly would do a show like this. OK OK There is not a shred of truth in this post but I kept being annoyed by the presence of HW on everyshow without any evidence of talent or charisma and began to think what I would like her to present. When I did get round to writing the post I did think she let the authenticity down but I could not think of a suitable replacement. I briefly thought of Peaches Geldof but considering what happened to her mother I thought it in poor taste. I hope it is to my credit that I cannot readily bring to mind talentless media hungry bimbos from the depths of ITV. I hope you at least enjoyed the thought and would really like to watch the show - in your imagination I'll have my agent keep her eyes peeled all the same. If there are any TV executives reading this and think this would be a brilliant show. I will offer my services as a presenter as I am as attracrtive as Frankie Boyle and as witty as Holly Willoughby and more importantly considerable cheaper! That's fine, but would I want to finger you? Madam, I could not possibly comment

Paul McCartney has just done an interview with Sir David Frost for Aljazeera in which he tries to break the myth about Yoko Ono breaking up the Beatles. My concern is that he is being very nice (and the bigger person). Is there a reason for this such as one of them is likely to die in the next 18 months.

Thatcher's chances of a State Funeral would be diminished if we had only just had one for QEII or DoE.

Holly Willoughby is almost ubiquitous on TV at the moment. She is now touting herself as the new Cilla Black with the unwelcome resurrection of Surprise Surprise. Holly Willoughby is a bit of an enigma. She has one of those faces that screams beautiful or fucking hideous. Her looks matter not tho as, seemingly, if you are married to a TV producer and have big tits, you will get on in the cut and thrust World of television presenting. Indeed, my betrothed is often saying how much he'd like to finger her. But I agree with TMIB - Frankie Boyle, yes, but there's no way squeaky-clean Holly would do a show like this. OK OK There is not a shred of truth in this post but I kept being annoyed by the presence of HW on everyshow without any evidence of talent or charisma and began to think what I would like her to present. When I did get round to writing the post I did think she let the authenticity down but I could not think of a suitable replacement. I briefly thought of Peaches Geldof but considering what happened to her mother I thought it in poor taste. I hope it is to my credit that I cannot readily bring to mind talentless media hungry bimbos from the depths of ITV. I hope you at least enjoyed the thought and would really like to watch the show - in your imagination I'll have my agent keep her eyes peeled all the same. If there are any TV executives reading this and think this would be a brilliant show. I will offer my services as a presenter as I am as attracrtive as Frankie Boyle and as witty as Holly Willoughby and more importantly considerable cheaper!

The BBC is established by a Royal charter. The BBC board is there to oversee the opporation of the Director General and the creative output. Although the chairman of the board is appointed by the Queen (on the advice of her ministers) this is no different to the Archbishop of Canterbury and no-one would accuse Dr Williams of being a Government lackey.

Holly Willoughby is almost ubiquitous on TV at the moment. She is now touting herself as the new Cilla Black with the unwelcome resurrection of Surprise Surprise. Holly Willoughby is a bit of an enigma. She has one of those faces that screams beautiful or fucking hideous. Her looks matter not tho as, seemingly, if you are married to a TV producer and have big tits, you will get on in the cut and thrust World of television presenting. Indeed, my betrothed is often saying how much he'd like to finger her. But I agree with TMIB - Frankie Boyle, yes, but there's no way squeaky-clean Holly would do a show like this. OK OK There is not a shred of truth in this post but I kept being annoyed by the presence of HW on everyshow without any evidence of talent or charisma and began to think what I would like her to present. When I did get round to writing the post I did think she let the authenticity down but I could not think of a suitable replacement. I briefly thought of Peaches Geldof but considering what happened to her mother I thought it in poor taste. I hope it is to my credit that I cannot readily bring to mind talentless media hungry bimbos from the depths of ITV. I hope you at least enjoyed the thought and would really like to watch the show - in your imagination

Number 10, Number 10 I wish I could know when There will be the number 10 It might be someone, do you ken? Who used to live at Number 10!

And if he ends up as Prime Minister the queue to leave the country will be overwhelming

Unless it was well made and discrete

Holly Willoughby is almost ubiquitous on TV at the moment. She is now touting herself as the new Cilla Black with the unwelcome resurrection of Surprise Surprise.

How Kee and Greaves have outlived Williamson and Morris, I'll never know... Lizzie Webb is another of those people whose DOB is not freely available, but her BBC rival Diana Moran (aka The Green Goddess) was born 1939 and survived her breast cancer which was diagnosed at the age of 48.

Wasn't sure where to put this one but it could be significant. I think the announcement had to wait until the end of Frankie Boyle's libel action in case they had to drop him. I understand that Channel 5 (in the UK) have commissioned a company called 104 Productions to make a 13 part series which is provisionally titled Last Orders which is intended to be an irreverent obituary show. It will air monthly during 2013 but there will be a launch show in December 2012 where viewers will be invited to submit a list of celebrities who may well die during the year (sound familiar?). The series will be hour long episodes probably aimed at late Saturday nights hosted by Frankie Boyle and Holly Willoughby. No more details as yet. Should we sue or welcome them with open arms?

I think the BBC really need to try and find some sombre photos of Jimmy Saville. The news coverage is very serious with allegations of abuse and the very reputation of the BBC at stake but it is all accompanied by pictures of Sir Jimmy grinning like an idiot and putting two thumbs up in the air.

''Oldest'' not ''last''.................... I stand corrected!

The last surviving Battle of Britain pilot, William Walker dies aged 99

Bengali writer Sunil Gangopadhyay dies of heart attack aged 78

well her sister (Dee Dee Warwick) and her cousin (Whitney Houston) are pushing up daises....and shes related to Aretha Franklin who is on the 2012 death list - I'd say shes doing OK all things considered. She was asked about why some stars seem to self destruct including Whitney, Karen Carpenter & Michael Jackson and why she had not secumbed. She said that she had always been grounded. I am not advocating DW for 2013 list, just passing on intelligence.

Dionne Warwick has been doing the rounds of the UK chat shows promoting her new album. She was singing on the SCD results show and, more interestingly, she was on Radio 4's Woman's Hour this morning (I was driving somewhere in a car - alright!) and she was explaining why she refuses to give up smoking and doesn't do keep fit. 72 in December.