Scraggy Taters

Whereas I've taken up gardening. Many a time have I tended to my overgrown bush in the garden, tool in hand, occassionally given it a good trim while the neighbours look on in amazement while I get a sweat on pushing the bulb into a dirty hole.

Anybody got a duck? I've got a stool ! Erm.. forget that. The wife's just flushed it.

Well, ^that^ killed the moment. .. as the wife said last night after I duly broke wind while she was playing on my piccolo.

It'll be four coffin handles. Handles for his coffin. I hope to God you are not a second account merchant because you are the best newbie for fucking ages. The original & the beast Lord F.N. Just me with the one account, 235 236 posts & no warning points (as yet). I did join years ago but couldn't be arsed to post anything. Then last year I discovered single-malt scotch whiskey mixed with J.D. honey and my creative wittiness flowed like Kerry Katonas vaginal juices. But cheers for the nod nonetheless.

" Language Timothygryphon ! "

How do you know what scared 13 year old girls do with 'block' buttons on internet forums ?

Someone missed the 'bell' after the word 'tragic'.

I last night dreamt that one of Hall & Oates died.

As the band members are all dead now, they'll be 'something in the ground'.

It'll be four coffin handles. Handles for his coffin.

Finally, I can now cancel me Nans 'Wiltshire Farm Foods' subscription with a clear conscience.

or not Pulls out for health reasons but does hope to appear in the 2017 Deathlist Abdominal aortic aneurysms have a 40% mortality rate ,and if they can get treated before rupture, a 5% and below mortality rate! I'd say "he should be ok", but then, we don't know the type, size or what happened prior to his surgery. What happened was that an EIGHTY SEVEN year old man tripped and fell, the kind of thing most of us do from time to time but brush ourselves down and carry on. He has also had extremely invasive surgery which will take an 87 year old considerably longer to recover from as opposed to somebody much younger. He may well go on for another ten years but he wont. Yeah, time for the fiddled-with youngsters to start circling and finish off another national treasure, or summat. Or, as Bruce once said to the scout leader, ' don't touch the pack, I'll be right back ! '

.. and it's goodnight from him.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/earl-hamner-jr-dead-waltons-7625803 Qualifying Obit for the DDP team who picked him So, it's Hammer time! You indeed hit the nail on the head there. For those who remembered the 1980s kids TV series 'Trap Door' (narrated by the late, bearded 'Celebrity Squares' regular Willie Rushton) , the shows co-creator/animator Terry Brain has died. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-35907091 (Awaits the obvious remark...) Brain dead? Urm.. yup, that's the one.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/earl-hamner-jr-dead-waltons-7625803 Qualifying Obit for the DDP team who picked him So, it's Hammer time! You indeed hit the nail on the head there. For those who remembered the 1980s kids TV series 'Trap Door' (narrated by the late, bearded 'Celebrity Squares' regular Willie Rushton) , the shows co-creator/animator Terry Brain has died. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-35907091 (Awaits the obvious remark...)

Have you considered becoming a male escort for students ? Self employed, you choose the going rate & the perks are... erm, cock mind-blowing.

Welcome to my world. Blokes always start crying when I get naked. Same here. Always happens in the supermarket queue though. The women tend to just point & laugh.

Thanks to that encounter, Jared is now serving sandwiches to the prisoners, just not submarine sandwiches. SC I'm sure the prisoners would love something hot, meaty & filling inside them after a cold shower.

The only tag Paul Daniels now has is on the big toe of his left foot which reads 'dead grumpy magician'.

Yes 'World Youth Day'.. where, like teenagers, no-one really gives a shit.

Hehe. Yup, nice one Spade. Save that for when he pops off. It's duly copyrighted for your use only.

Richard Stilgoe for 8 year olds ? (Rings 'Operation Yewtree')

Nope, I've had too much Scotch in my sherry. I only speak two languages fluently, 'English' & 'pure-waffle'.

Well, he is Scottish after all.

Yeah, but Kerry Katona does that every time she needs a story in the supermarket tabloids. I like Kerry Katona. I'd still smash her back doors in... ...even though they're always unlocked.