TLC

But not in this case. Which is why I said the above, followed directly by the line you quoted below; can you not even quote in context? So you don't understand... FFS, OF COURSE I DON'T UNDERSTAND, HENCE THE ABOVE LINE OF MY POST YOU'VE QUOTED I think that is your problem. I happen to think that if people on this site can't understand one of my posts for example, it's either because it actually doesn't make sense or I've made too obscure a reference to something. You do seem to assume that when people don't understand you it's because your brain is operating at a higher level than everyone else rather than considering the possibility that you've posted a load of random toss that's been cunningly grouped together to make it look like complete sentences. I'll post a link to your fabulously (to me, anyway) higher-level joke and your attempts to make it look like we were all just too base to understand it, if you persist. In fact, f*ck it, here it is. That would mean you can't tell what is going where, but that is obvious because your sitting in the dark side. Next time I will light you a match. Clever; dark side, match, I get it! Thanks for interpreting for me what I meant though, there I was thinking that what I meant was exactly what you've quoted me saying above. Well that's me told I suppose... If only I knew what. Perhaps I'll leave the Dicky O thread alone in future, or maybe a kindly mod/admin could prevent me from posting any further in this thread?

I used to think this thread was painful enough reading when it was actually about Dickie O, but I've just realised I was wrong. The mutual back slapping going on here is pretty pathetic; I know I don't have to read posts or threads that don't interest me but christ on a bike.... I generally reserve my dark side for ranters, but BS; please can you try and at the very least make some sort of sense? I can follow BB's most drunken posts more easily than your most lucid ones, they are generally contradictory both between one post and the next, and also within the same post which is no mean feat. I think I mentioned it before but there is a 'PM' option for sending private messages, which is all this thread is filling up with. If there was even a tiny bit of interest within the posts to which I refer for other members then fine, but there isn't. Not even close. Takes something special to get me annoyed about posting not being relevant. Although I think it's the dullness that offends me more, a very distinct whiff of beige about this thread...

Having just re-read much of this thread I think we'll see ranters on a thus far unprecedented scale as and when Jane does remember the meaning of the word 'terminal' when placed before 'cancer' and acts accordingly. Considering there was hardly a bad word said about Paul Hunter on his thread compared to the abuse then donated from drive by-ers, and the Ross Davidson thread was subject to scores of lurker guests even when the ability for guests to post was locked, I'd be surprised if DL doesn't make the national press when Jane finally reaches her final destination.... Maybe the Sun will try and get names, email addresses etc. and do a 'name & shame' in the paper, demand in 'Sun Says' that the website is closed down and perhaps even burned on a pyre with any remaining copies of Brasseye that got missed (they're not having mine). I recall they printed names, addresses (I think) and other details of the cast of this 'abberation' before backtracking a few days later and likening it to a Jonathan Swift-esque satirical, if uncomfortable masterpiece.. Nothing quite so magical in the press as a front page scandal followed by a bottom of page 32 apology a few days later. Just to make it clear, I have no desire to see Jane die of cancer and I'm sure she's done some great work for charity and highlighting the cause, but I know for a fact it's not just the 'sickos' on this site who've considered the possibility of whether it's quite as terminal as first thought. It's just the old case of being ok to say stuff to your mate down the pub or at home, but be prepared to be vilified for stating it on public record. How does one go about girding one's loins exactly? Last time I tried it I accidentally gilded my Lions and they weren't too happy about it, I can tell you.

I can't say I particularly enjoy trying to decipher what he's written (especially when it's really extreme and makes less sense than if he'd just battered the keyboard over his head for 5 mins) but I don't see that as reason to censor his 'work'. I'm sure plenty of people don't like what I write but I'd rather they got the opportunity to tell me that, rather than me just getting my posts deleted. That's not a request for you all to start taking that opportunity though...

Only if those words had any long term value? I see a question mark, but what's the question? I guess the fact he's survived lung cancer and a brain tumour is of considerable value to Mr Robson, long term or not. Or have I yet again failed to understand what you mean Mr Scream? For the 2,966th time at the time of this post.

***UPDATE*** Oscar Niemeyer is an anagram of 'Macro Eye Siren', it has been exclusively revealed to me. So, a large eyed dweller of the sea, eh? SQUID! GIANT SQUID! Now that's what I call a bit of good old-fashioned honest to goodness proof, or as Chris Morris might say, "Proof, if proof be need be".

I'm pretty much with CarolAnn here, people are so sure of their memories right up until they are presented with cast iron evidence that they were wrong (i.e. video footage of an incident) but still the next time their memory is questioned they will insist they cannot possibly be wrong. As a voluntary destroyer of the power of my own short-term memory through non-prescription therapies, I'm willing to accept that my memory is often rubbish; the thing is though, most people's are just as bad but they back it up with self belief. This is why I almost always lose or avoid arguments, because I'm willing to admit that sometimes I could be mistaken and so people pounce on that schoolboy error with the traditional 'well I'm 100% sure I'm right so you must be wrong' counter. Another interesting thing is how the well documented problem with witnesses' reliability is turned on its head when it comes to unexplained phenomena i.e ufo sightings etc. I'm not particularly a believer, but if 1,000 people claim to see a strange object first hand and so much as one of them has a different idea of what they saw then the whole argument is debunked. This is down to the whole idea of 'if you see something unusual then you're bound to remember it precisely' argument, which is basically a load of toss. A prime example of people's selective/partial memory if ever there was one. I doubt if any one of us who thinks they have really clear memories from early childhood hasn't at least added to the overall picture of the memory through having the story told to them hundreds of times by their parents, friends or whoever. I can equate this with some of my drunken shennanigans, where I've been told stories of my phenomenal exploits so many times that it now feels like I can remember them, although I know I can't. Ironically (well, possibly ironically anyway) I at least partially credit my views on memory and it's sketchiness on the film Total Recall...

Lula is the Portuguese word for squid. His political party is PT=13. Lula=Giant Squid= Leviathan. In the bok of of revelations of the Christian bible there is a passage (Chapter 13=PT=Lula )that a beast will arise from the sea(=Lula,Squid Leviathan) with 7 heads and 10 horns That is 7+10=17 and 17 is the star (=Logo of PT ,Lula´s Party). Niemeyer wrote Allu=Lula in Brasilia (=Planalto Central) The scientific name of the giat squid is ARCHITHEUTIS, very similar to architect=Niemeyer. There you go AtJ, it can't be any plainer than that, surely. It's clear and absolute proof. Proof of what, I've no f*cking idea, other than the poor mental state of LulaAlluis Dagiantsquid, although I presume Oscar Niemeyer is to blame for that. I can just see Oscar sitting back laughing now as he sees the havoc he has caused. Curse you Niemeyer, and a double curse on your dreaded calamarian cohorts! I imagine even a convention of conspiracy theorists when presented with the above 'logic' would probably not know where to look; except perhaps down their noses at the whole nonsense.

Thats what post-whore annonymous does to you... And I'm looking forward to my next Whore Pride march immensely, I can tell you. Hopefully this time I'll be joined by other people, I feel it lost some of the intended impact on my own. TLC, do you still have to give up your bus seat to non-post whore types, and step in the gutter to let them pass you on the street? It's true. We once flirted with the idea of equality for post whores and non-post whores, but that just lead to violence so we demanded our segregation back,and now that we know our place everyone's happy again. Magic. Hmmm, deja vu Windsor? Who'd have thought apartheid and post-whoring would be such close bed-fellows?

I think if I dressed as my avatar I'd be lucky to get as far as on the train, such are the enlightened non-suspicious views of the average commuter. Maybe I'd do better by convincing the commuters I'm going to do something entirely innocent, such as taking a huge sports bag with me to prove I'm just on the way to the gym?

Thats what post-whore annonymous does to you... And I'm looking forward to my next Whore Pride march immensely, I can tell you. Hopefully this time I'll be joined by other people, I feel it lost some of the intended impact on my own.

Hmmm - something tells me that you are not really black. Probably the Darkie bit... Can't fault the logic though, eh? You ban apartheid, now there's loads of violence; therefore if we re-segregate people and restrict freedom in general.... Especially in the current political climate that's bound to calm everyone down again, because they'll all know their natural place in society and stop getting silly ideas about being equal. Guaranteed to end the violence. It's a bit like saying slavery is ok if all the slaves get fed and clothed properly and get beaten up occasionally, but only if they really deserve it. That doesn't mean that every slave who is freed is instantly better off, but that's not reason enough to return willingly to the cage is it? Either way, at the rate you're going you've still got another 2,000 years to sort the problem out before it solves itself, so thinking caps on.

Jesus? Jesus? Don't give me f**king Jesus! What did he have to contend with? Fishes, loaves, water, wine, crucifixion? Whatever... he never tried reducing the amount of whoring (often mis-labelled "banter") on DeathList, did he? Did he? Eh? What you saying now, Jesus-fish? Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus Chriiiiist! Wrong Star-crossed. Jesus, Aesop, and indeed Confucius, were constantly troubled in their production of parables by trolling, flaming, ranting and whoring. No sooner had a decent parable been promulgated then the author would be inundated with mountains of unsolicited papyrus from attention-seekers commenting on grammar and spelling or offering dull and irrelevant observations on contemporary entertainers fallen on bad times eg Rehman O'Sulliman, reclusive ex-star of Man About the Temple. I think you'll find that's Star Crossed. Sorry. In these modern times I am happy to stand up and admit my whoring, I am not ashamed of providing what I consider to be a vital service. Sometimes it's only the spectacularly dull, ill-informed, inflammatory, off-topic, quasi-English posts (or any combination of the above) that lead to the some of the better posts which rip them to shreds, or at least kick-start a lively debate. I'd like to think I contribute to the terribly witty replies, but concede I'm far more likely to unwittingly set them up. Quite often an AtJ-level of quality reply is only possible with an Iain-style comment first, which is good enough for me. I'd rather have both than neither. Must say I preferred Ibis's Nest.

You might be even easier to find if you dressed up like your avatar. But my avatar is wearing an extremely clever disguise; if only I could combine this with his lethal acting powers you'd never recognise me if I so chose. It's very much like the physical equivalent of a jedi mind trick - 'I am not the deathlister you are looking for'. Especially if it's Twelvetrees trying to introduce himself and he really does look like that. If not, heed the wise words of the Matchroom Mob (and Chas & Dave) who chillingly warned us many years ago 'we'll show you what we can do, with a load of balls and a Snooker queue'. Add a few pairs of hastily removed socks into the mix and blind ugly violence is the only way this game'll end. That must be what going 'Snooker loopy' means, a phrase I've heard used on the mean streets of South London a lot (well maybe once or twice, and probably from my own mouth) but just presumed it was about enjoying the game until recently.

I'm up for a London meeting; I'll get there early and hold the same pose as in my profile photo so that we don't have to wander round a pub asking 'excuse me, are you Captain Oates/In Eternum +/Cowboy Ronnie/Dr Hackenslash?' etc. Best not to read any of my drunken stories I've posted on this site if you're not sure whether to come along or not...

Sir John Betjeman Not that BS will take a blind bit of notice... What made you say that OoO?

me. Van Persie shouldn't have been on the pitch to have scored either of his goals at the weekend, although I can't deny that volley of his was pretty damn good. At least 3 of our 6 losses have been against Arsenal, Man U & Chelsea I suppose. It's when we get tanked by Sheffield United and Watford that I'll dig out that map to Yeovil. On a separate note, I can't believe Darren Bent has been dropped back to the Under 21's; he's managed to score 5 goals for us this season when we've been playing terribly, out of our team's league total of 6.

Athough quite useful if you ever need to get very drunk in a very short amount of time. Oh, and someone in the office said 'see you next Tuesday' to me today, and when I didn't split my sides with laughter at the outrageous cheekiness of the gag they presumed I didn't get it and started to explain it to me very slowly. The c*nt.

Even by my low standards this is a fairly pointless thread. That's not to say some of the posts themselves aren't entertaining. Cockermouth! I wasa thinking about starting a thread called 'I've not started my own thread before so here goes', would that be any good? Other than that, my only ideas so far are 'Weather; what's it like outside now?' or 'Cheeses Squirrels & Pubs' although I've kind of been saving the last one for a full-on website. My point is, with idiots like me who can take any thread off topic at the drop of a hat, surely starting one to say 'hello' to a member is asking for trouble. And from one in a position of great power, no less. As I recall there is a 'welcome' thread where people can choose to introduce themselves; failing that PM's are quite good for sending personal messages. By the way hi there Lady Clarissa Richmond, I hope you have fun here, but in a responsible way of course.

Josco, it might just be me but didn't it go something like 'three may keep a secret if one of them are dead?' I'd never seen the quote until it appeared in Josco's signature, but I know which version I think is more likely to be right. Or could it be, 'Three may keep a secret if they're all alive but really promise in the strongest possible terms not to say anything. And are really trustworthy about that sort of thing'?

I was visiting a nearby town recently (Macclesfield, if you really want to know), and saw that they had bins attached to some posts in the town centre on which it read "Recycle your chewing gum here". It's horrible to think what it might be recycled into! All of the bins in my high street that have special gum receptacles have had the 'G' of 'Gum' amusingly graffitti'd into a 'C' with a deft flick of a black marker. So, still a sticky mess around the side of the hole, etc. A bit like when my dyslexia got me into big trouble at the 'Wig Bank'; the place that I've since found out is where you leave your dead toupees.... Anyway, the reason I'm here is Sky and their new 'chatty' options menus. The following options I seriously had to sit through 10 mins ago: - Hit 1 Press 2 Then it's 3 Hit 4 (ran out of ideas I guess?) I wonder if people were having trouble when they previously used 'press' for each option? W*nkers.

Mr.Hopkins got promoted. At this time he seems to be in a very deep state of confusion, yet appreciation. I think he will get back to being himself sometime soon. Thank you BS, is it a case of the chicken ovulation boiler turned enthusiatic custodian? Although if I may be so bold, I reckon replacing 'enthusiastic custodian' with 'sexually excited football player who wears the No.1 jersey' could successfully convolute the phrase even further, without losing any of the required accuracy! Oh, and in answer to your question, yes it is the case, although I'm not sure whose idea it was. (re-reads own post...) Giving up smoking and simultaneously moving onto decaffeinated tea & coffee may not have been my brightest idea.... Thank god for cannabis, alcohol & class 'A's to see me through, although not so useful when I'm at work, apparently they're frowned upon in the workplace.

Towel heads? My word, ever the enlightened one eh? Surely by following your logic he could just live in Afghanistan with all of the other 'towel heads' cos, well, 'they all look the bleedin' same don't they, we'll never work out which one he is' etc. Excerpt from 'Love thy Laden, 1978©'

I can die happily now! The butterfly sequences make a good sub-plot which not only stands up in its own right, but also complements the main plot rather well I think...

Here is a Haiku To discuss masturbation Masturbation's fun That's not bad SC Though this one is much better But I would say that