TLC

Can't say I do. I was slaughtered at mine. All that nerve-strengthening free Champagne beforehand. I was very sober on New Year's Eve 1999 - 2000 because I was pregnant. That was quite fun until I got into a fight with a (male) "well - wisher" who said, "You're really nice. I hope you have a boy. You deserve it!" Good luck for the weekend anyways, TLC. Be sure to take your camera! Nice compliment from the well-wisher, sounds like a bit of a charmer. I'll be fine at the weekend I should think; I'll still be single afterwards so what's the worst that could happen? Probably taking a camera with me actually, more due to where it might end up if I get drunk and beaten up rather than worries about the picture quality. Happily 'I do' is something I'll never say drunk or sober, unless replying to the question 'who wants another drink?'

You're quite right, I'm sure I'll find something else that fits. Being diagnosed bi-polar seems to be all the rage this year, maybe I'll give that a try. I hope it's got nothing to do with ursine sexual experimentation though, I don't think I could....erm....pull that one off.

i writing concerning about tis message on the top, i donot agree with stupid message ok. and i think that you just have nothin else to do but to talk about the king like that. you shouldnt judge your king like, bcos you didnt live with him to know the king, and so wat if his over weight, wat is it to you yuh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if i was you, dont judge the book by its cover you stupid bastard. mata usiiiiiiiii what goes around, cums around. He's overweight, it's not a judgement but a fact. No-one said that he's a bad man. The weight factor is important as it has health implications, whether it's polite or not. Anyway Ann, how is judging a book by its cover a stupid thing when it comes to health? Especially if that cover's a bit on the large side; someone's appearance can be a really really good indicator of that person's health. The importance of good spelling is demonstrated here, I think.

I think they did get rid of him one Easter, but I heard he still came back! As a non-believer, I celebrate Christmas in an non-religious manner. That is, exactly the same as everyone else but without the guilt. Christmas is that special time where I try to work out which random word I've said to my mum over the past 12 months will have been magically added to the end of the sentence 'what I really want for Christmas is...' in her mind. This happens particularly when my parents decide to get me a more expensive present than usual. So far, a very expensive electric toothbrush, equally expensive monogrammed cuff-links (cufflinks with TLC engraved on them are funny exactly once), a mobile phone in the days when I really hated them etc. I sound like I'm being ungrateful, but it's not true. I love working out after I've opened whatever the present is when I must have made an accidental reference to it in the past year. The phone was a classic, I clearly remember saying 'I'm the only one in the family who hasn't got one now, what's wrong with you all?' She always asks for a list, I always do one, I've never got anything from the list. That's how it works.

I don't have that disease. Although I know of somebody who was diagnosed with it. I believe it involves the nervous system.I didin't mean to say I was surprised you haven't got Asperger's, our scores are both well outside the Asperger range. I just guess I was surprised that we got identical scores, as you don't strike me as being similar minded to me in the small way that we know each other through this forum. We might have got the same scores by getting our 16 points from 16 different questions of course. That's a compliment by the way, be worried if I thought that we were similar!

At least you'll have an excuse; most people usually think they look bad in wedding photos (and are mostly right) but will have to live with the fact that they really do look like that most of the time! I'm at a wedding over the bank holiday weekend, and if I behave like I did at her sister's wedding I'll have a lot more than a split lip, cracked ribs & cheekbone, although it won't be due to my self-expression through the medium of dance. More likely I'll be the blank canvas that lots of angry artistically-minded relatives will be painting a nice shade of crimson; the type of artist who, to avoid cliches, use fists instead of brushes. Either that or I'll get a good shoeing. Does anyone know what a relatively sober wedding is actually like? If not, I'll be able to enlighten people next week. If I blow it and end up getting sh*t-faced, I'll let people know of my injuries as soon as I get out of traction.

Well TLC........... that bit sounds like Autism / Asperger's type stuff. But then a friend of mine who is a psychologist (a female one, as was Heim) argues that autism is just a fairly extreme form of masculine thinking. I don't really know. Its just that the difficulty in gauging people's emotional responses sounds typical. My friend might be right though about males and autism...... I was driving the other day and tried to work out my travel expenses in my head. When I reached 12 decimal points I realised that I had calculated to 1/100 billionth of a penny. That's not intelligent - that's autistic. Just scored 16 on the Asperger's test, 16.4 is the average and 30 ish is Asperger's alert time. Not that it proves anything, I got the same as BS which surprised me a little.... I'm kind of ok in real life though, I'm not obviously odd in social situations, mostly. I often do the same with the maths, I tell myself it's to keep my brain in shape by not using a calculator but it's not is it?

32. Enough said. I scored 16. That is generally good. Also 16.

Huh? Perhaps if you would indulge me in some ice cream I'd be better able to comprehend what NOWT means... Just a colloquialism for 'nothing', no ice cream needed to digest that I hope.

Good stuff, I think I can follow that. As it happens, I'm extremely good at doing all of those Mensa type tests, but I agree that it just proves I'm good at Mensa tests. Put me in a room full of people and I don't stand out as some ultra-intelligent chap, except perhaps if there's a pop quiz going on.... or a Mensa test. The fact is I've probably got a high IQ but the tying of shoelaces (not literally) I find much more tricky, along with understanding people, getting on with my work, motivation, drive, ambition, perseverence etc. I'd be the one standing out in the rain telling everyone why it's raining and how it happens whilst forgetting to put my umbrella up. [shrink's chair]I've basically spent most of my 32 years working out how to cover up all of the huge holes in my common sense by trying to work out how other people react, and so acting within the boundaries of what seems to be considered acceptable. Sometimes near the extremes of acceptable, I don't mean I just do the complete average all of the time, I hope that's reasonably obvious from my posting on this site. Also, other than smile=happy, frown=sad/puzzled type stuff I have no understanding of body language, not even subconsciously. Even if people spell stuff out to me I just presume they're probably taking the piss. I've read books on it and can probably tell people the theory behind certain expressions, posture, stance etc. but I can't pick it up in practice. I'm Mr. Theory, effectively. Not the greatest superhero name ever I'll admit; and with my devastating powers of 'careful theoretical observation' not the most useful one. Nice costume though. [/shrink's chair] Great; I think I've just successfully argued that I'm a computer and as such have no intelligence. My favourite flavour of ice cream? It depends....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSCO!

Some questions for you Mr Pooka, from an eager student.. The first part (ability to grasp the essentials in a given situation) to me suggests intelligence, whereas 'responding accordingly' would be common sense or wisdom, to me a distinct...thingy. Is intelligence merely the comprehension of what's happening without necessarily knowing the best way (or a sensible way) to respond? Even if in theory the various possible responses can be worked out? If so, can you begin to call computers intelligent if the ability to respond is 'common sense' and separate? Are common sense and intelligence merely two sides to the same coin?* I suppose it depends on your definition of intelligence, at which point the argument starts to become a little circular. A quote I heard once was 'intelligence tells you it's raining, common sense tells you to open your umbrella'. *You'd never think that if you've ever met any of the 'hyper-intelligent but can't do their own shoelaces up without falling over' type of student that is very common. Two different coins entirely.

This is the sort of stuff that I write because my Rizla+ are at home along with my gear, field of bulls was the closest guess. Yes they can, no you're not.

Random thought: - Does anyone else here sN-word like a child when commentators use the expression 'cross-come-shot' to describe a mishit/genius cross that ends up giving the 'keeper some work to do? Sounds a bit like an angry porn climax if you ask me. Just don't try to imagine the look on the player's face as he whips one into the opponent's box... Taxi already ordered, coat under my arm.

Is the list supposed to show different ways of being able to prove intelligence in beings, as I don't see this list of 'intelligences' as mutually exclusive, insofar as I understand any of it. I presume you've labelled 7 options on purpose because you've not counted the first option on the list of 8? Although in that case, whoever originally said 'it' (is it the 'they' from 'you know what they say' again?) can't count as their list must include all 8 as options or they wouldn't all be on the list. I think. Cut & paste can be a double-edged sword sometimes, can't it? I'd say the whole list sounds very much like it should be under the tag-line Corporate Intelligence Solutions or such like. The use of 'end-state' alerted me to this possibility. My intelligence belongs to me, whatever its label. Or its worth, for that matter. I worry that you think the above list might help explain yours.

Steel drums. Every Saturday morning of childhood seemed to involve Mike Read (not the Eastenders one), Sarah Green or whoever introducing some new and exciting inner city community orchestra mutilating yet another sodding tune on a wasteland (the collective noun) of steel drums. I don't care how many hawaiian shirts and cheesy grins were part of the ensemble, it still adds up to one big sh*t sandwich. I tried to set up a steel drum tuning company, but apparently my specially created tuning pick axe and tuning sledgehammer couldn't be officially registered as steel drum tuning devices, according to the miserable over-officious bastards at the local patent office. My initial field testing suggested they worked fine, but I don't have perfect pitch I was often running away before I got to check the results out properly I may have listed steel drums before in room 101, but I think they're worth more than one mention. My one caveat is the song 'Nothern Lites' by the Super Furry Animals, which I confess to liking. Only this week did my brain register the sound of steel drums in the song, despite the fact you can't really miss them and I've listened to the song hundreds of times over the years. Damn, that's quite a powerful psychological effect those christing drums must have over me.

Not. Shot down! I can feel the heat from here...

If you combine that with what we used to do to first years at school (year 7 I think it is these days?) when we were 6th formers.... I'd better explain that : - After spinning them on a chair for...erm...frankly however long we felt like (we used to count out loud up to 10 but it bore no relation to the amount of completed revolutions) they then had to get up and run as fast as possible down a narrow gap between two straight rows of chairs, touch the wall and then run back again. It's funny how they'd often so nearly make it all the way back before suddenly veering off at the last moment. So, combine the empty stomach, cider, spinning hilarity and the 'chair gauntlet' and there's some quality entertainment. Maybe after that, pit-stops would become more interesting and 'ad hoc' due to the added random element of the sudden deterioration of drivers' stomachs. Perhaps a time penalty for each chair moved from its original spot would be appropriate? Not that Mr Ecclestone showed any interest last time I mentioned it, with some people it's restraining order this, restraining order that...

I think that out of those three potentially life-extending commitments, point 2 entirely decides whether I can commit to points 1 & 3... I am currently living a life that, in the time-honoured tradition of comparing life to a candle, is burning out fast, but not particularly brightly. Damn candle shop, I must have got a faulty one, probably the same place Princess Diana & Marilyn Monroe got their 'wind-resistant & waterproof candles' from. Same thing with the 'magic' beans. To keep on an English language theme, I read recently that the Cat in the Hat books encourage bad spelling because many of the character names in these books have spelling combinations that do not occur anywhere else in the English language. I don't have my source book with me (Accomodating Brocolli in the Cemetary; not my spelling) and I've never read any of these Cat in the Hat books so I can't give examples but on the face of it that seems a bit remiss. This does presume that these books were written for grammatical purposes rather than to spark kiddies' imagination, I must admit I don't know that either. Watertight point, I think you'll agree.

Oh well, at least they haven't got to clean anywhere that's going to be excessively dusty during this broom crisis.....erm... Might be cleaning for generations too, unless some sort of Broom Aid ('Sweep the World') could be organised? I'll get straight on to Bobby Geldof, see if we can get something started. Actually, Chris Morris would probably do a better job.

...and if he doesn't deal with his impending demise in the best of spirits he'll be a 'furiously wan king' right up to the end. May I divert both you gentlemen (yes, you two) to the cloakroom where you may pick up your coats... Way ahead of you Windsor, I'm only still here because I'm waiting for the taxi.... And after following Gunjaman5000's link (and skimming quickly through the death-related stuff) I spotted a rather nice quote under a picture of some happy looking ladies standing around in a field. I said happy looking. Presumably using brooms to prepare for the possibility of a state funeral would be some kind of devastating insult. Mala'e Kula are the Tongan Royal Tombs by the way. Picture of the week is a nice idea too...

Early congratulations Handrejka on your soon to be 700th post! I presume that the fact I had to be reminded means it doesn't count? That's normally how it works with ladies isn't it, it certainly seems to when it comes to getting anniversary presents.... or birthday presents...

Well this posting race between BS & MPFC* is really hotting up isn't it. I for one am having trouble concentrating on making my usual lucid and relevant posts. Perhaps a triple post could be used next time, or is that that one kerr-razy step too far? Keep 'em peeled, quite literally anything could happen, and probably will. It's bonkers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *I think only one of the two participants is actually involved in a race, maybe there should be a prize for guessing which one? Answers on a postcard (or a sealed down envelope) to: - BS competition DL Headquarters P.O. Box 1 Somewhere Mad!

Who is our cat? Garfeild? Might explain why MPFC is so orange if Garfield was moulting at the time of the pic. And the look on his face, if that's not a face saying 'my god, look at all the orange cat fur that's just covered me' then I don't know what is. Thatcher should have a toilet cubicle installed on her grave once she's 6 feet under. I'm sure millions of people would quite happily queue up and pay a bit of cash to piss there. The cubicle would add some valuable dignity to the proceedings for those who feel it would be inappropriate behaviour for a cemetery. The money made could probably be used to cancel out third world debt with a bit to spare. Plus, a cubicle would let you express yourself from both ends and with a variety of bodily excretions, safe in the knowledge that your message would remain a personal one between you and Lady T. The visitors book could double up as loo roll too I suppose.

Very small women or very large post box?