TLC

Are you begging the horse not to please fat people, perhaps because this horse is showing signs of developing Homo-Equine Obesity Based Altruism Syndrome? If so, wise words indeed; it's a nasty condition to have and no mistake. No, I've got no idea what I'm talking about either.... That's my favourite TLC post yet. Taking the p1ss out of Banshees' poor grammar and rambling deliriously like Pete Doherty an hour after breaking into Alexander Shulgin's garage. Brilliant! Britain's in the grip of a heat-wave and your posts are becoming more surreal by the minute; I presume there's no air-con in your office, TLC? Sweat it out, bro, sweat it out... I went to Carlisle yesterday. There, I'm on-topic. Sort of. Erm, we do have air conditioning in the office but me & the hot weather don't get on too well in general. I could try and blame the post on a spot of hypoglycaemia but I don't recall getting that Wednesday lunchtime. I blame it on the fact that as I feel more at home on the DL I get less paranoid when editing my posts and worrying if they're stupid, controversial, irrelevant etc. or not. I'm quite hot on grammar & spelling, but have far less control over my content other than not posting at all. I admit to using the carpet bombing posting technique i.e. I'll hit the target occasionally but collateral damage is more likely to occur. I use fellow DL'ers responses as my hit & miss guide. I've just realised this explanation doesn't really make any more sense than the post I'm referring to above; my excuse today is that I'm feeling a bit brittle after a ridiculous 4 days of helping my brother move house and also getting completely sh*t-faced on disco biscuits, Colombian marching powder and naughty cigarettes. If this were the 80's and I was wearing a double-breasted suit with stripy shirt and red braces I could correctly say I've been 'working hard and playing hard' recently. Hopefully I will be able to 'touch base' with reality soon. Good grief...

Are you begging the horse not to please fat people, perhaps because this horse is showing signs of developing Homo-Equine Obesity Based Altruism Syndrome? If so, wise words indeed; it's a nasty condition to have and no mistake. No, I've got no idea what I'm talking about either....

I became bored reading thatI sometimes drink to relieve boredom, Brunno. Maybe you should try it sometime?I suppose that was most probably below the belt......although if Bruno's of the age that his profile suggests (I realise it's not actually 31st September but it might be the right year) or perhaps a bit older, there may not be much above the belt to aim for. If older men in the States can be compared to similarly aged British men and their fascination for underarm belt & trouser combos that is. I'm currently posting under the Bored? heading. But it's payday today, so that's likely to change over the next few hours.

Who ever came up with that caption should be sacked... I agree, it sucks big time..

Possibly, but I bet a condition would be that you have to go and pick up any compensation due in person from Israel. To a warm welcome no doubt.

Aha! Normal service resumed then. I was getting a bit worried yesterday when I saw those two posts. Good to have you back. Good to be back Mr Rick. For a worrying hour or so yesterday I thought I gave a sh*t about stuff. Then I remembered my main purpose is to try and steer threads gently off course, whilst injecting a splash of 'humour' to proceedings. For those of you confused by my last sentence, if I laugh I count it as humour, although I appreciate the rest of you have more refined humour parameters. Like I give a sh*t. ps Time Theif! Time Theif! Grind those teeth for me Mr Rick!

Yes thanks, thanks for asking. You happy, oldie?

Thanks Handrejka, that has made my day and probably the week! For those unsure of whether to visit this site: - And that's fairly mild, although please note exceptional use of the phrase 'these people', especially in conjunction with 'our country'. Textbook Daily Mail shite; the tabloid that thinks it's a broadsheet, although more worryingly so do its readers.

Good stuff, I think essentially we're all pretty much in agreement, we just came at it from a few different angles. My angle yesterday was to get a bit too excited at the sight of my own typing; for further evidence see the long rambling Pete Doherty post I made yesterday, and I don't even give a toss either way about him. You did read my post didn't you? I don't think I've ever been accused of both of those things at the same time before. I shall presume that comment was mostly aimed at CP. So, are we all friends again? Unfortunately, as we all need to be in the same room to be able to link little fingers and sing the special 'make friends make friends never ever break friends...' song, we can't make it official, but this should do for now.... I challenge you to find anything cogent & well reasoned in this post. Good luck!

That's not a phrase I'm familiar with. Now if you had said he's a Nine Bob Note, I would understand much better. Also bent as a bottle of crisps - but I don't think that one is in common usage either. DWB Comes from the splendid 'Brasseye' Sex episode, where it was also suggested that homosexuals in the Armed Forces would be a bad idea due to the following logic: - 'Homosexuals can't swim, they attract enemy radar, they attract sharks, they nudge people when they're trying to shoot, they always insist on sitting at "The Captain's Table"... they "muck about". Imagine... the fear... when you go to sleep with a gay man on board and think "Oh God, when I wake up, will everyone be dead?" You can't run a ship like that.' Hope that helps, but basically it was just an excuse to post the above quote.

1 down. Thousands to go. But for the moment, the following Beatles premonition is still spookily accurate after all this time: - 'Opus dei, Opus dei, life goes on brahhh... Lala how their life goes on...' Nostradamus eat your heart out. Yet another reason why the Four were considered Fab.

Aaarghhh! My eyes, my eyes! That's far worse than the usual caps lock ranting thing, and presumably quite time consuming. Anyway, I wouldn't get myself into that situation. Right, got that out of my system. As it happens, I've done various substances over the years, so I guess an alternative me might have gone down the Doherty route, had I made all sorts of decisions that I wouldn't make, due to that fact that I am actually me. I think that last sentence shows I'm serious about my past drug-taking. Perhaps you could admit yours, I guess you were on something when you chatted to the 'tortured soul', bless his skag-ravaged cotton socks. Anyway, perhaps if he could even for one moment stop hanging round with all of his old friends who keep getting him into trouble (against his own will?) i.e. show even a tiny bit of restraint, I think you'll find there are support options open to him far better than the usual junkie options. Expensive clinics for one, and oddly I think the intrusive media can help as he knows every time he lapses he'll be in the f*cking papers! Plus the courts have helped so far by not locking him up, but surely there's only so long you can avoid locking up a junkie for junkie-based crimes in case it turns him into a junkie? I've made some bad mistakes in my time, but do you know what? They were my mistakes and ultimately down to me to get over or sort out. I'm sure I've felt circumstances have lead me down the wrong path on occasions, but no-one twisted my arm or pointed a gun so still my choices. People need to stop blaming everyone else all the f*cking time for their own mess, and instead admit mistakes and get others to help you it out. Or am I mistaken in thinking Pete had quite a good upbringing, did well at school and even went on a school trip to Russia due to his wonderful poetry? It's funny how every background conceivable can be blamed for sending someone off the rails; too rich, too poor, too formal, too little attention, too much discipline, no discipline etc. Too blamey more like. To sum up: - Pete, grow up, you're not at school. TLC

I've never been a defender of the Israelis but I don't know what they're expected to do when Hezbollah launches missles at them with impunity from a country that either is unable or unwilling to stop them. Your comment about Israelis sunning themselves while Arabs are getting blown up is indicative of your prejudice on this issue. I don't understand why the Israeli response should be "measured". I approve of a more old fashioned idea. If your enemies are unwilling to talk peace and persist in attacking you, kill them. Let's hope Hassan doesn't make it to '07.I don't wish to put words into CP's mouth (or anything else for that matter ), but I just felt like weighing in - windmilling my arms in the traditional manner if necessary - so here goes... I don't know if you've read a lot of CP's posts, but of all DL'ers I'd say he is most likely to look at everything, weigh it up and think stuff through before putting his opinions into a post. That doesn't mean you have to agree with him of course, and I suppose the reference to Israelis sunning themselves seems a bit glib, but I think he was just trying to show the difference between life in most of Israel compared to most of the Lebanon at the moment. I don't see it as showing CP's prejudice or he'd probably not make a point of specifically calling Nasbrallah a terrorist. As for the 'measured' response (or lack of it) I'd say that not only is it not a measured response (which I don't think you're denying) but I think it should be, which is where we disagree. Considering most of the threat from surrounding Arab countries is made up of guerilla-style small moblie units, shelling civilian areas indiscriminately seems little more than an attempt to 'teach the Lebanese a lesson' for harbouring terrorists. It is extremely unlikely to harm Hezbollah to any degree, especially as Israeli intelligence within Lebanon is virtually non-existent. If anything, the murder of women & children & non-combatants who are less able to just uproot will make martyrs and encourage more people to suicide bomb, something that modern armies still haven't got to grips with if they ever will. Possibly one thing that should have been learnt by now is that traditional warfare does very little to check it, Iraq being a current example of that. So I reckon Isarael will just fuel the fire with their response, however justified some sort of response is. That's a good idea when you know who the enemy are and actually take them out with the minimum of fuss and disruption/damage to everything and everyone else. I'm not saying it's easy, but if the easy option is indiscriminate shelling perhaps some more thought is required. It's a bit like the equivalent of doing a smaller scale 'Dresden' which despite being 60 years ago was hotly disputed even then as to whether it was a valid tactic for fighting wars. Imagine if the British had tried this tactic regarding Northern Ireland? Even without it, plenty of innocent people still got killed or jailed, sometimes even guilty people but with no proof, which is tempting but almost as bad. A large amount of the IRA used to operate from across the border in Eire, but I don't recall shelling the border areas being considered as an option because Dublin couldn't stop the attacks? I know the comparison is not exact (if they ever are) but it's the first one I could think of. One day, I hope countries will stop using the incredibly advanced playground argument of 'but they started it' to justify more and more outrageous actions and responses, but I doubt it'll be in my lifetime. 'they say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one....' Although I think Mr P. Oakey said it best: - And who will have won When the soldiers have gone From the lebanon The lebanon Right, there's only so much I can keep re-editing this, here goes...

It's not trial by jury here Iain (nothing so democratic thank god), or do you imagine you're being interviewed on the steps outside the court every time you talk? Actually, do you speak like that in real life? Hmmmmm..... Iain's mum: "Would you like a cup of tea dear?" Iain: "At present Mrs Smith I feel that while future investigations could still be prejudiced, a snap answer to what is nonetheless a relevant question must be avoided. However, on the basis of recent trends I feel that I cannot either agree to take tea or crucially, rule it out at this early stage. Later this evening...." Iain's mum: "F*ck off and make your own c*nting tea then. Twat" Hope not.

It doesn't matter any way iain. I have no means to force you to leave if he doesn't die.You also have most of the Moderators and the mighty Tempus Fugit (knob) objecting to me warning, suspending or banning you. So do whatever the hell you like. Because as they said in the moderater forum to justify your actions, "Every village needs an idiot". I've heard there's quite a lot of freelance work at the BBC for a start. Or perhaps you could take over from Mystic Meg if she accidentally gets something right? Considering there are people on this planet who can't work out that some daft bint in a wizard's cloak with a stupid voice cannot really predict winning lottery numbers for every person born under every single star sign in the same week there'll always be an opening for you somewhere. [meg]'I predict.... you have a shining future ahead of you Iain... I sense an emphasis on next Thursday... or Tuesday, definitely a T anyway... linked to a body part.... some joy through another's sadness. Luck could involve a man called Michael, but maybe not immmmmmediately.... Destiny involves a new IP address'[/meg] That's the concise version of what I was trying to say. He may not be big in the US, but he's very well known in this country, more than a fair amount of the rest of the 50 are, but that's only my opinion. Definitely time to go home now.

2 weeks to make 85 posts, it can be done in a weekend if need be, eh BB? I shall pass on these words of wisdom that were just passed on to me: - I vote for 'All of the furniture in my bedroom is in Black MDF, and the cardboard bottoms of the drawers are a bit bowed'. Snappy! That's certainly how my single man's 'crib' used to look, until I, erm, upgraded to Ikea Pine. Still very much single man fare, but apparently looks* a bit more like I give a toss**. *Those oft-mentioned deceiving looks in my case. **before this draws comment, I mean 'toss' as in 'damn' on this occasion. It's the 'yoghurt spills' (or 'toothpaste accidents', take your pick) on the bedsheets that literally make it look like I give a toss.

I'm happy with that, for one. I think this is the area I was actually trying (badly) to suggest a solution for yesterday, rather than the above mega-list you have put together. Your suggestion matches what I'd have suggested if my typed English ever matched my thoughts, so I'm happy with point 2 too. Hopefully some more weighty opinion will back me up. On ne sait jamais, as the French (or at least my French teacher) might say.

Or my favourite nonsense lyric/rhyme combos from Rod Stewart: - 'I'm wasted and wounded, and it ain't what the moon did.' Awesome. Not to mention the 'waltzing matilda' chorus...

How about HBP (high blood pressure) for the condition OoO has probably got after reading your suggestion?

Pretty famous I'd say, especially as he was never even PM, and also gave the Labour Party their heaviest defeat in modern times in the 1983 General Election, the sort of thing that can make you more famous than coming a close second. The SDP/Liberal Alliance almost beat them into third place vote wise, although due to the 'first past the post' voting system they still crushed them on total seats gained. And without researching it, I imagine he would have held a few senior cabinet positions as part of the Labour Government of 1974-1979, maybe even before that. Leader of the British Labour Party means exactly that. I'm clearly not American, but wouldn't you be just a little surprised if I said 'Leader of the Republican Party, what does that mean then?'. Plus I'd say Michael Dukakis, Ross Perot, Jessie Jackson, John Kerry, Al Gore etc. are famous enough to go on an admittedly UK-Biased list, so Michael Foot makes it hands down. And he famously looks like and always has looked like a scruffy tramp of indeterminable age, very identifiable looks-wise. More than that, the Labour party is the party that Tony Blair is currently leader of (in name if not spirit) so that counts as a reasonably high profile position to have, whether you then make Prime Minister or not at a later date. I'm not saying you shouldn't have your own opinion on this BS, but it's almost that baseless to the point that I can say it's just plain wrong. You probably don't care what I think either way, but it's rare I know anything about anyone listed on this site so there's my opinion which is open to question too, of course. But I am right. ps Just occurred to me, does that refer to your previous sentence, or the rest of your post in general? TLC, making a topic-related post for a change....

Hi all, I can proudly announce that I have just joined the elite of the DL by reaching the magical top 50 all time posters, of all time. Except technically IYG is still above me but as doesn't show on the list I still claim my rightful position at the top table. Since 29th November last year I've been visiting this Magical Kingdom of death-related banter, and I'm sure you are all aware I've averaged 1.4 posts per day in that time. No no, thank you. Whilst shamelessly mid-whore, I feel I should point out that since I waited until 6th February to announce my presence in the form of the written word, my actual average since first posting is a swagger-inducing 1.9 posts. See me in a different light now, eh? Only someone really cool would work that stat out. I'd like to thank you all for your patience, as believe me it took some special work to puff up my post total by writing all sorts of irrelevant nonsense, often taking two if not three different positions in the same argument when dabbling in more weighty discussions. I did this not for my own gain, but for the good of the DL community as a whole. I've tried to enrich the hearts and minds of all on this site, as one is useless without the other. I'd like to think I've succeeded, but then I like to think about all sorts of things, mostly involving ladies minus the dreary cash transactions that take all the romance away. Anyway.... I think my answer to the title of the thread is a resounding YES! to no great surprise. My last thought is that as I don't get paid for my whoring, perhaps I'm more of a Post Slut? TLC

To me?

Doing a good job there on the new suggestions thread OoO, can't believe how many names there are, or who some of them are! I concede that Phantom's idea was a much better one than mine, especially as OoO is working on it; a man dedicated to compiling death stats for the greater good. My idea was more to provide a carte blanche for DL'ers to have an opportunity to show their predictive skills (or lack thereof) in advance rather than getting the usual 'I was going to suggest him' posts after the event. Or something like that, it's less clear than yesterday already. Basically, Phantom's idea was well thought out and needs a bit of time spent on it by a dedicated someone, and mine was a bit rushed and almost all the work would be done by individuals, with a bit of a mod clean up at the end. The slacker's option, effectively. Do I still get a Silver Medal and an 'A' for effort?

Ooooooh! Is BB Laura as well? No its not BB. However his alter-ego of BC does have a link to this well-known deathlister. Is it Iain, directing us to his posts on the BBC site by circuitous means thinking we'd all be really impressed by them? At least PM me the suspect's name, cross my heart I won't tell. ps I agree with the swell of opinion that non-apologetic use of the C word (by which I mean_cunt, wash my keyboard with soap & water) by a lady can only be for the good.

I agree; one thread for 'not exactly famous', one for 'famous but not on the DL this year' but with catchier names. [light bulb] Perhaps if at the start of a year a list is pinned as a locked thread (like the DL 50) with all of the suggestions that didn't quite make it but were seriously considered by 'those who decide'? Also, maybe another thread open for a week or so before the 50 is put up purely for fellow DL'ers to post names they want on the list, therefore giving people bragging rights (and proof of such rights) if their picks were ignored but turn out correct? It also prevents people pretending they suggested them at a later date, and is a handy reference when posting in the all-encompassing famous deaths thread, if any back-slapping is in order. I know that's two extra threads, but one would essentially be one post & then locked immediately. The other would be open for a short time, with anything other than pure wish lists deleted or moved immediately, and then locked. Discussions of lists can always be held in ideas and possibilities as they do now.[/light bulb] I can't say I thought too long about the above so there may be a fatal flaw somewhere in my thought processes, but it seems relatively quick and easy to me. But then I don't have to run things so I suppose it would.