TLC

Thanks for the kind words, much appreciated. Plus it took attention away from my original joke attempts, which is the silver lining I guess. I promise I really found out between making the two posts, very weird. Someone's way of telling me that I should work harder! Although not my manager, because she resigned yesterday. Hmmmm....

I think "One Sweet Day" is what that would be, especially if B-B-Boyz II Men are standing really near her at the time, perhaps after they've agreed to perform the song together one last time!

I see the natural off-the-cuff banter that made them so 'hilarious' in the first place is still evident after checking your link out, OoO. Maybe a new one-off episode (filmed in front of a live-ish studio audience) involving Estelle Getty would be even better...

Karma can be very fast these days; since I posted those two 'jokes' about 10 mins ago the company I work for has gone into administration... Big Issue anyone?

Why did Lieutenant Uhura? Because William Shatner.... Penguin walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Have you seen my brother in here?". Barman replies, "I don't know, what does he look like?".... Please note; the poster of the above message accepts no responsibility regarding the overall comedy value of the material used. If anybody has any complaints relating to the above, please do so via this link.

It could be much worse. A forum for the GTA game that I used to use for a while had a topic entitled 'what are you listening to right now?' Hang on, let me check..... .....it's still there, has well over 600 pages and 12,000 posts. Some of it is literally a conversation between two random people taking turns to name the next song on the album they've got on! I hope this shows that there is a happy medium between agonising over every choice of word & syntax you use, and posting the first random nonsense that comes into your head. If you spend too long worrying, the topics become self-censored and stale. If you don't think enough, topics start along the lines of 'What's your favourite colour?' and people think that's fine. If you ask me, and I realise no-one was, this site is pretty good. There are rubbish posts of course (some mine) but plenty of people draw attention to them, mods & non-mods alike, and things usually calm down. And as far as I can tell, any censorship that there is on this site doesn't prevent an honest to goodness argument if needed i.e. much of this thread. By the way, Blue. No, Yellow!

Perhaps the 'Stand & De-liver'? Ahem. The Courage Best Bitter could be served in gallon glasses as a tribute? It could also have Dialysis Machine 'hot spots' (like the wi-fi ones in cafes) in the bar for your truly dedicated death-cheating clientele. I hope the least my attempts at humour will do is enrage someone sufficiently to put something better up in response...

Thanks HoS, that certainly settles the matter! I guess the great Bobby Maxwell was indeed found, although he appears to have lost a little bit of weight whilst at sea... I imagine his posthumous contribution to the Soap, Oil and Corsetry industries may not have quite made up for the tiny hole he left in the Daily Mirror pension fund, but at least he made an effort I suppose.

Happy Birthday Mr Reaper! Hope you're too drunk to be reading any of this at the moment... Brian also offers you his very jolliest hat waving & smiling combo congratulations too.

It's true.... If it is true, it explains why I'm so clever, all that room for my brain... etc.. As a man, I felt compelled to make the above response; it's just a knee(or maybe hand?)jerk reaction...

A useful 'pick me up' I favour is the Vodka Espresso. It combines hair of the dog with a big jolt of caffeine in one tiny cup. Could go nicely with CP's beer soup or Beerios to help make sure you consume all of the important food groups in one hit before starting your day. That's if your day is going to be an all day piss up (such as St. Paddy's day) at any rate.

After singing along as suggested, I now can't decide if I'd rather have a yabba dabba doo time, a dabba doo time, or even a gay old time. Maybe all three can be had simultaneously if that's your cup of absinthe.

I suppose the best you could say is that the doctors were very thorough... From the same site, I like this doctor's interesting method of letting people know how good his work is!

Found some on here, apologies it's on an Oprah site. Funny where Google can lead you if you're not paying attention!

3 Years? That's the same as Gary Glitter got. Although Mr Higgins will probably get time off for bad behaviour!

Particularly for all you Scots out there, click here for news on the recent(ish) death of Alan Fitzpayne. 'What, the Alan Fitzpayne?' I hear you ask collectively. Yes, the very same. Surely few people will deny the man's greatness after reading this very moving piece. Of course I've not checked it on Wikipedia so I can't be 100% sure of the accuracy of this piece.

Shouldn't be long then! I must say I already think that public support for Brown started to wane a couple of years ago, as it has for Labour in general. Labour's only current saving grace seems to be that they're still perceived as less bad than the Tories. There's a winning election slogan for Labour right there! I think Mr Brown might end up with the 'always the bridesmaid' tag. ps I've been to your website, & at least I know where 'Josco' comes from now. The link isn't quite right though, some extra characters need to be removed from it. Can't say I find Octel 200 & 300's generally give more than 99.972% system availability in my experience, but what do I know? Good to see the DL link there too in amongst the serious stuff.

Denise Marlatt (a 'Miss January' if you will) is particularly fine, and only 36 too! I'm quite keen on the line The following individuals are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. which is just above the pictures, names, ages, town of origin, alleged crimes and dates of arrest of the individuals concerned. Remind me never to go soliciting in Peoria. Again..

Sounds like you're touting for a job at Wikipedia.... I hope that wasn't libellous.

It's now her Death List membership anniversary being celebrated, rather than her actual birthday, although I must admit I thought the same at first.

That's the way I want to go, rock 'n' roll! D'you think it was death by an extremely large paper cut? I hope not, no-one wants their last words to be "ouch, that really stings!" By the way I do realise he's not really dead before anyone pulls me up on it....

I agree with your comment. Genocide? What genocide?! There was no genocide! Interesting leap of logic there. The first quote seemed to be genuinely questioning whether Milosevic was directly involved in genocide, but the Guest seems to think that equates to a denial of any such thing happening. Unless I'm missing some scathing sarcasm in the reply?

Damn, almost exactly what I was going to say (except minus the skill, poetry etc.).... so I'll just say happy DL birthday instead! And a big thank you for being the mod who welcomed me when I finally got off my lazy arse and started posting recently. It was much appreciated by me, not sure whether everyone else appreciates my insightful and relevant posting as yet. Oh, and Brian wishes you all the best too, as demonstrated by his party hat-doffing. He doesn't just do that for everybody, you know.

116 and I was amazed I did that! Sir, I salute you.

The two on placebos must be laughing their bo****ks off. I bet you even sign away your right to sue for any sort of compensation beforehand if you are unlucky enough to have a bad reaction.