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Talk Like A Scotsman/St Andrews Day/Burns nicht

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UrweawtakinGlesga?  Cosifweur ahcandaeratnaeborraweeman. ;)

ayeweurHCWhaudoanahmawayfuraweeswally!

Ahmgonnyhuvwanmaselsoon. Ahuvasmashinweesingulmoltdoonsterrs.

AhhopeyeenjoyyersingulmolthuvyegoatraIrnBruinforramorra?

Dammitahwentanforgoattaestealsum. Byeraway, ahmcumminuptaeScoalandinafortnicht anahlbegaunootfurrafewbevvies.

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UrweawtakinGlesga?  Cosifweur ahcandaeratnaeborraweeman. ;)

ayeweurHCWhaudoanahmawayfuraweeswally!

Ahmgonnyhuvwanmaselsoon. Ahuvasmashinweesingulmoltdoonsterrs.

AhhopeyeenjoyyersingulmolthuvyegoatraIrnBruinforramorra?

Dammitahwentanforgoattaestealsum. Byeraway, ahmcumminuptaeScoalandinafortnicht anahlbegaunootfurrafewbevvies.

LookusupHCWifyercominup, andLadyGandmaselllmeetupwithyeforafewsherbets !!

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Why Scotland is a grand place

 

In the beginning, The Lord God Almighty, sitting on His throne on high, turned to His mate, the Archangel Gabriel and said "Gabby, today I'm going to create Scotland. I will make it a country of dark beautiful mountains, purple glens and rich green forests. I will give it clear swift flowing rivers and I will fill them with salmon. The land shall be lush and fertile, on which the people shall grow barley to brew into an amber nectar that will be much sought after the world over. Underneath the land I shall lay rich seams of coal.

 

In the waters around the shores there will be an abundance of fish and beneath the sea bed there will be vast deposits of oil and gas".

 

"Excuse me Sire", interrupted the Archangel Gabriel, "Don't you think you are being a bit too generous to these Scots"?

 

"Not really", replied the Lord, "wait 'til you see the neighbours I'm giving them".

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UrweawtakinGlesga?  Cosifweur ahcandaeratnaeborraweeman. ;)

ayeweurHCWhaudoanahmawayfuraweeswally!

Ahmgonnyhuvwanmaselsoon. Ahuvasmashinweesingulmoltdoonsterrs.

AhhopeyeenjoyyersingulmolthuvyegoatraIrnBruinforramorra?

Dammitahwentanforgoattaestealsum. Byeraway, ahmcumminuptaeScoalandinafortnicht anahlbegaunootfurrafewbevvies.

LookusupHCWifyercominup, andLadyGandmaselllmeetupwithyeforafewsherbets !!

Ahldaemabest. AhlbeinEKfurracouplasherbertsoanrafridaynicht.

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UrweawtakinGlesga?  Cosifweur ahcandaeratnaeborraweeman. ;)

ayeweurHCWhaudoanahmawayfuraweeswally!

Ahmgonnyhuvwanmaselsoon. Ahuvasmashinweesingulmoltdoonsterrs.

AhhopeyeenjoyyersingulmolthuvyegoatraIrnBruinforramorra?

Dammitahwentanforgoattaestealsum. Byeraway, ahmcumminuptaeScoalandinafortnicht anahlbegaunootfurrafewbevvies.

LookusupHCWifyercominup, andLadyGandmaselllmeetupwithyeforafewsherbets !!

Ahldaemabest. AhlbeinEKfurracouplasherbertsoanrafridaynicht.

wewerejistthereoansetturdayIwisplayinattheVillageInnEK

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Take the Ned/Chav test.

Ahthinkamaned. mascorecameupwiris

You are pure mental, man! A total heid the baw in the first degree. Yer coupon’s like that spaghetti junction wae the amount of scars, reakin wae the bevy 24-7, you’re knees don’t even seen to bend when you walk yer that much of a bampot. And when you’re walking down the street wae your pitbull (slabbering chops at one end, baws swinging at the other), and your pure hackit burd (mair baws than the dug), both sporting your totally minging day-glo, his-n-her shell suits, everybody knows that you’re the top boy. Nae messin’!!!

 

Uncannae!

Edited by Boudicca

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Take the Ned/Chav test.

OK here is the working version for everyone who missed it.

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Take the Ned/Chav test.

Ahthinkamaned. mascorecameupwiris

You are pure mental, man! A total heid the baw in the first degree. Yer coupon’s like that spaghetti junction wae the amount of scars, reakin wae the bevy 24-7, you’re knees don’t even seen to bend when you walk yer that much of a bampot. And when you’re walking down the street wae your pitbull (slabbering chops at one end, baws swinging at the other), and your pure hackit burd (mair baws than the dug), both sporting your totally minging day-glo, his-n-her shell suits, everybody knows that you’re the top boy. Nae messin’!!!

 

Uncannae!

Ahmnoanedahmaclypenaenewserrheresmaresult:

 

 

Rating 1: Rookie Ned

 

You’re no a ned, yer just a wee gadgie wae an attitude problem. Ye canny just tuck yer trackie bottoms intae yer socks, buy baseball cap, and start thinking yer wan ‘o’ the team. In fact yer probably a wee grass. D’ye know how we deal wae grasses round here? You’ll be smiling from ear tae ear pal. You better get off yer mark, it’s way past your bedtime, ya wee boaby-biter!

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A Scotsman emigrates by boat and his twa brothers wish him a tearful farewell fae the quayside.

 

Twinty year later he returns and his brothers are there at the quayside tae welcome him back. Baith brothers sporting long, full beards doon to their knees.

 

"Guid tae see ye again brothers." he says, barely able to haud back his tears.

 

"Aye" replies one brother coldly, "but that wisnae funny ye ken, you f****n' off wi' oor razor like that".

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To be honest at the moment I'm drinking the cheapest cider known to humanity,

 

"White Strike", a cheap version of "White lightning"

 

Does this make me a Ned/Chav ;)

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To be honest at the moment I'm drinking the cheapest cider known to humanity,

 

"White Strike", a cheap version of "White lightning"

 

Does this make me a Ned/Chav ;)

Just make sure you have plenty of chilled Irn Bru for the hangover tomorrow.

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To be honest at the moment I'm drinking the cheapest cider known to humanity,

 

"White Strike", a cheap version of "White lightning"

 

Does this make me a Ned/Chav  ;)

Totally..basically yer nedded oot of yer nut ...hehehe

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hehehe just took the ned test myself...check it out

 

Rating 2: Hauf-a-Ned

 

You’re just not the full bifta ur ye? Fair enough, you could do dot tae dot on yer coupon that you’ve that many plooks, ‘n’ ye can handle yer buckie ‘n’ yer jellies, but you’d be keechin’ in yer joggies if it came to a proper square go. Think yer a bit of a ticket? I’ll punch a hole in ye son.

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I've been looking at your profile Lady G, and I believe this is you and your hubby!

 

stilts4hz.jpg

 

Tartan stilt enthusiasts no less. The game is up.

B I've just found the most recent pic of myself and my good lady braveheart8or.jpg

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urwe dain this again? Efter aw, it Burns nicht :lol:

Aye, we can, ah forgoat is wiz Burns nicht an' didnae take ra haggis oot ra freezer!

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